Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Forehead Games

Yesterday, as I was leaving the house to go to work, I put on my hat, because it was a gazillion degrees below zero, and Mona started to point and hysterically laugh at me.

Mona: Your forehead!

Me: What about my forehead?

Me: You look like yourself when you were a baby. A bald little baby. Gah, I can't get over it. Try pulling your hat up to show some of your hair.

I pull my hat down over my eyebrows, because I always do the opposite of what Mona tells me to do.

Mona: Come on, pull it back.

So, I pull my hat back.

Mona: Do you have a fivehead?

She starts walking towards me with her hand held out to measure the length of my, apparently large, forehead.

Mona: Yep, I think it's a fivehead.

Me: Thanks.

Mona: You have a very distinctive forehead.

Me: Yeah right.

Mona: No, really, I could tell that forehead anywhere.

Me: You will have to prove this later, I'm going to be late for work.

So later that night I put her to the test over our Biffs conversation (an all day, everyday Facebook chat between Mona, Becky, and I).

With out any topic introduction I posted this:

Becky: Who is that? Me?

Mona: That is not Luna's forehead


Mona: Not a Luna Forehead

Becky: Oh that's def a Luna Forehead lol


Becky: I love this game!! I'm thinking you are finding random images on Google am I right?

Mona: Not a Luna


Mona: Nope


Becky: Are you playing the spotted game?? I knew you liked Gossip Girl (Side Note: they have been trying to get me to watch Gossip Girl and I will have nothing to do with it based on the pure stupidity of it)

Mona: Not Luna. I told her that she has a distinct forehead

Becky: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Not Luna.


Mona: Nope.


Mona: LUNA!!


Mona: Nope.


Mona: That is really tiny, but no.


Mona: Nope.

Me: Wrong.

Mona: Oh no. I had a second of doubt then I said nope. Darn it. Now I see it

Me: Okay, I'm going to give you one ore chance to win. This is double or nothing.

 Mona: Both

Me: Is that your final answer?

Mona: Yes.

Me: You are correct!! You missed one out of four Luna Foreheads. Not bad.

I'll have to admit Mona better than I thought she would, especially since I was pulling from all my pictures, the last one was even of me as a baby. I guess Mona was right when she said that with a hat on my forehead looked like me as my bald baby self. 

What about you? Could you tell your friends and family by their foreheads? 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Procrastination And Lack Of Focus

The life of a dedicated procrastinator is a difficult and dangerous road to travel. Sure, the time spent procrastinating is lighthearted and fun, but there is always the constant burden of feeling "there is something else I should be doing". It's not an easy burden. Along with every Netflix show, book, and fun night out there is a constant pressure, a feeling like I am forgetting something or that some deadline is being missed.

Every procrastinated moment is an experience I wouldn't want to take back, but the missed work does eventually catch up to you. The work doesn't just disappear. It doesn't go away. You must pay the piper.

As hard as I try, the more I tell myself to just do the stupid work, the less I want to do it. I've always been stubborn that way. I don't like people telling me what to do, so much so that I don't even like myself telling me what to do. 

And to make it even worse, on top of procrastination I am also easily distracted. In the time it's taken me to write this I have logged in to my school account, sent three emails, checked Facebook six times, check a few other blogs, and Googled radicular pain, talked on the phone, and made coffee.

When I'm trying to do school, it's even worse. I go of on these random tangents. Like last week, I'm studying art in my humanities class and we get on the topic of printing. I read one little thing about 3D printing and I go off on a four hour Google and YouTube 3D printing spree. Did I need four hours worth of information on 3D printing? NO. I didn't need four hours worth of information on 3D printers, I just needed to know that it's a type of printing. While it was really cool (they printing body parts and hamburgers for goodness sake! I tried to talk Mona into letting me print kidneys in our basement and sell them on the black market, but she wasn't having it. I also tried to get her to let me build a life size robot and she wouldn't let me do that either) there goes four hours from my study time. 

Due to my extreme procrastination and lack of focus the next month of my life is going to be full of sleepless nights, an insane amount of caffeine, no contact with the outside world, and no robot building (if anyone has a building robots for dummies book or robot parts for sale let me know. Don't tell Mona!). I will not see my family or friends. I will not go to parties or gatherings of any kind. I will not watch TV or read books. My entire being will be consumed by the work I have put off for the last five months of my life.

This is the nightmare I create for myself. It is the same nightmare over and over every time I close my eyes and I can't escape it. 

(help me!)

Monday, January 27, 2014

Charles Conspiracy Theory

I think dark and twisted forces are at work to destroy my life.

Let me give you a little bit of back story to set up this situation of pure evil.

Back in July, I had this patient, we will call her Anna, who would come in all the time to see Leslie for braces. Every single time she came in or called she would try to set me up with her Nephew. Our conversations would go something like this:

Anna: Are you still single?

Me: Yes? (gosh, why don't I just lie in these situations) 

Anna: You really need to go out with my Nephew.

Me: Ummm.....I don't have time. Sorry. (oh please, please just let this go)

Anna: He works as a bartender. (Is that suppose to make me like him more?)

Anna: I'm gonna give him your work phone number. (Hell, no. I'll hang up the phone! Okay, so maybe I would politely tell him that he seems like a really great guy...but I'm just unable to go out with him at this time in my life)

Me: But there is my job and school and....I am just way too busy. (Maybe she sees the panic in my eyes and will let it drop now) 

Anna: You need to take a break sometime. Don't you want someone to hold your hand while you watch the fireworks on the Forth? (Gulp, did that sound like a threat?)

Me: ha. ha. (Why isn't she getting the hint!)

Anna: Will you at least think about it? (NO!)

Me: Yeah, I'll think about it. (Thought about it and it's still NO!)

Anna: I'm gonna make him drive me to my next appointment. (...!!)

Me: ha. ha.

Thankfully she didn't come in again. That is until last month.

Anna: You really missed out!

Me: What?

Anna: My nephew has gone and got himself engaged. That could have been you! You could have been my niece!

Me: Oh man! (Thank God) 

She came and went and I thought about how I had "missed out" on being her niece. I can't say I cried about it.

Then Friday happened.

Leslie, who she normally sees for her braces, is out on medical leave until February. The person who covers for Leslie is Charles. Yes that Charles.

Anyway, she was suppose to see him Friday, but with the weather she called to cancel her appointment.

Anna: I'm sorry I don't get to meet Charles today. I was really looking forward to it. Is he nice?

Me: Yes, he is a great (talking about in a professional I am suppose to do...because it's my job), we can get you in with him next week if you still want to see him. (Me, again, being professional and doing my job) 

Anna: Is he single?

Me: Ummm...yes? (Is she looking for someone?)

Anna: Because I wanted to try and set you two up. (WHAT!! HELL NO!)

Me: don't...

Anna: Is he ugly? Is that why you don't want to go out with him?

Me:''s alright...I just...I don't...(Pull it together you blubbering idiot!) 

Anna: You're just not looking for someone right now?

Me: Yes. (Oh, thank God, yes she gets it) 

Anna: I still want to meet this Charles.

Me: When you reschedule we can still get your appointment with him. (or not) 

I don't know why everyone is out to get me to go out with Charles. Even patients who have never met Charles are in on it. It's a conspiracy of pure evil.

My mother has started referring to him as my boyfriend to my extended family!!!

You accidentally go to a movie with a guy ONE TIME and everyone thinks your dating. I am never going to the movies with anyone ever again!!

Okay so maybe that's a little over exaggerated...I love going to the movies. So, I will never go alone with a guy again!

But then my mother might start thinking I like the ladies.

Maybe I should just go myself from now on. It will save me the trouble.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

I Don't Understand Twitter

I've been on a HUGE Twitter kick this brisk and windy Thursday morning (and by huge I mean I've twittered...? twitted, tweeted? I'm going to go with twitted because I like it best, even if it's wrong. So I've twitted 5 tweets in the last two hours, and, by my very low and pointless Twitter standards, that's a LOT).

As you can probably tell from my improper use of Twitter vocabulary, I'm rather new to the Twitterverse (I think I've actually heard that word used before, so I'm improving).

About 99% of the time when I'm scrolling through my feed, my eyes glaze over and my mind races as it tries to pick out actual words amongst the vast amount of clever run on hashtags and overabundant web links. Most of it just looks like mumbo jumbo nonsense to me. I can't make heads or tales out of it without giving myself a migraine.

@someoneidontknow #I #like #tweets #idon'tknowifthisisonewordornotbutlookatthiswebsite

Basically, I feel like a colossal idiot when it comes to Twitter. I don't like things that make me feel like an idiot. You could say I have an intensely devastating allergic reaction to it. I get annoyed. 

Slowly, but surely I'm getting the hang of this whole twittering thing. One day I will know it all! Or at least I'm remaining blissfully and ignorantly optimistic about it. (Please don't burst my tiny bubble of social media sanity). #onedayiwillgetit 

Even if I'm the worst person on Twitter, I'm having fun. That's all that matters...right? 

You can follow my pathetic attempts of twitting tweets @mylowercaselife 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Sweat Suit

When Mona got home yesterday she had an armful of goodies with her. She had gone to our local Sporting Goods Store and went on a little shopping spree. She bought a jump rope and ten pound exercise balls. She proudly showed off her new toys.

I thought she had showed me everything. 

A few hours later we are sitting around with our future new roomie, Candy, and she was showing off her new stuff.

Mona: Do you want to see what else I bought.

Candy: Yes.

Me: There's more...that you've been hiding? This has got to be bad. 

Mona: Let me go try it on for you.

Me: Try it on? Oh no. This is definitely not going to be good. Tell me you didn't get the garbage bag. 

Mona: Shush. 

For the past few years, Mona has been trying to buy a plastic sweat suit, but on the sheer ridiculousness of it and the outrageous cost, for basically a garbage bag, I have talked her out of it. 

She hides her bag and dashes quickly off to the bathroom and loudly slams the bathroom door. Candy and I sit in anticipation. We hear the sound of plastic being whipped out of it's packaging. I really think she bought that stupid sweat suit.
Mona With Her Exercise Ball in The Sweat Suit

Out comes Mona. 

No only did she by a sweat suit, she went and bought the upgraded sweat suit with a hood. Candy and I burst out in laughter at the sight. 

Me: How much did you spend on this thing.

Mona: It doesn't matter.

Me: I'm going to Google it. 

Mona: DON'T! Just let it be.

Me: Obviously too much. I don't even want to know anymore. 

As she was sitting and sweating on our living room chairs, she stated to read the information inside the box. She caught up on the different types of exercises she could do in the suit and was impressed to find out all the heat locking features the it was had. 

While finding out all this fascinating stuff a small piece of paper quickly slipped out from Mona's hands and floated gently onto the living room floor in front of us.
CALIFORNIA PROPOSITION 65 WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and/or other reproductive harm.

Mona: That's only if you eat it...right?

Me: You're a goner, you've already had it on too long.

Mona: Or if you wear it without underwear. Don't worry guys, I'm wearing underwear.

Me: Ewe.

Mona: It's probably just because you look so ugly in it that no one want to have babies with you.

It's so ugly even Mona can't deny it. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Sleeping Problems

I know I've been talking about this a lot, but when someone interrupts my sleep it is a great sin against humanity and therefore must be documented so they can properly pay for their evil transgressions and ungodliness in the afterlife.

 I told you how Mona and I are sharing a room to save money, while it took me a minute to get used to sharing a room, but I've been doing fine. I turn on my little fan to drown out the noises of the TV she watches late at night and everything is good.

Last night was not so good.

Over the last three days I have been with people non stop. My introverted self was exhausted. Last night, after The Bachelor recording cut off half way through the show, I left Mona to entertain and said goodnight to our guests.

Peace at last. My head was pounding (a strange side effect of being with people too long...not that I hate people..they just make me tired and literally give me a headache) and I was ready for sleep.

Around midnight the lights of my bedroom turn on and Mona and Becky come clattering in chattering away like there wasn't another person sleeping in the room who had to be up in a few hours for work.

They left the lights on and continued to cackle away.

I, thinking they would grow tired and go to bed, let it go on until one o'clock in the morning. I was exhausted and cranky from being woken up. I didn't have the energy to lift my head and give them a proper talking to, so I sent a text to Mona.

Me: This is not ok.

Mona: You said you can't hear anything with the fan.

Me: The lights are on and you are loud.

Mona jumped up quick and turned out the lights. Her and Becky started to snicker and they used the lights from their phones to make shadow puppets on the wall above my head.

I was not amused. I was ready to jump up, grab them by the hair, and throw them down the stairs (did I mention I have very violent thoughts in this state). I exercised my powers of restraint and sent a text message instead.

Me: You need to stop or get out.

They finally shut up and stopped messing around. It was for their own well being.

Now that it's morning and I have finished my first cup of coffee, I realize, again, that I have a problem. There is not way to fix it, I'm not in control. The only way to stop this from happening is if people learn to stop waking me up while I'm sleeping.

WARNING: DO NOT WAKE LUNA UP EVER or you will suffer her extreme wrath.

I worry for the safety of my unborn children.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Punching Bag

Let me take you back. Way back to Thanksgiving. Remember how I didn't sleep the night before, because I was up baking and making my superhero costume? Well I was. And I was tired. After all the Thanksgiving festivities were finished I was ready for a good night's sleep. I had to be to work by seven in the morning of Friday, so there was no black Friday shopping for me (not that there would have been otherwise).

I lay my head down for a peaceful nights sleep only to be brutally awoke somewhere between the hours of 12-4 in the morning. I wasn't fully conscious, so I'm not sure exactly what time it was.

Mona: You want to go back Friday shopping with me?

Me: What the hell? NO. Get your ugly face away from me. (I get a little upset when woken up) 

Mona: But Dunham's has punching bags on sale

Me: Who cares? Go away.

Mona: But you know I wanted a punching bag for Christmas.

Me: So go and get it and leave me alone. 

Mona: Don't you want to come w...

Me: NO! 

Mona: The thing is...I don't have the money for it. 

Me: Just take my stupid credit card and let me sleep. 

Mona went out, bought it and brought it home. She wreaked havoc trying to get it in the apartment and even broke one of my laundry baskets trying to hang it.

Mona uses it all the time, I don't bother with the thing, even though I bought it.

This weekend, Mona was showing the bag off to Becky and her sister Abs. After they left Mona asked if I would try it, just once, to see if I liked it.

I, based on my principles of saying no to Mona all the time, said no right away.

Then she started to beg.

Mona: Come on, Luna. Why don't you want to try it.

Me: It's dumb.

Mona:  Please for me? Won't you try it for me? 

Me: The more you beg, the less I want to do it. 

Mona: (with a sad dejected look) okay.

Me: The sad puppy dog eyes are just making it worse. 

Mona went downstairs to punch her sad feelings out without me. 

Upon thinking about it, I did make a resolution to say "yes" more, so downstairs I went.

Me: Fine. I'll try it. Only because of my New Years's resolution, not because of your begging.

I held out my hands for her to put the gloves on. 

Mona: You are going to love this! 

Me: Sure sure. I doubt it. 

Mona: (with my gloved hands in her hands) This is the fight of your life. All things have been leading up to this moment. You can save all the books in the world...

Me: Are you really giving me an inspirational speech for this?

Mona: Shush. Let it happen. You can save all the books in the world. This is your moment. Go and get them. 

Me: Are we done now? 

Mona: Okay. Stand in front of the bag. Turn you body. Now punch.

I punched the bag.

Mona: Are you sure you haven't done this before? You seem to know some combos.

Me: I watch a lot of TV. 

I punched again. Not really trying that hard. 

Mona: How did you hit it so hard? I don't think you're doing it right. The bag isn't suppose to move that far when you hit it. Stand back.

I step back and Mona stands behind the bag to steady it. 

Mona: Punch it again.

I punch and Mona goes flying back against the wall, almost breaking another one of my laundry baskets. 

Mona: It's gotta be a fluke. You don't work out. It hardly moves when I punch it. Punch it again.

Me: Just admit I'm stronger than you.

I punch it again and Mona goes flying against the wall again.

Mona: Okay, so maybe you shouldn't be doing this. This is bringing up all my bad childhood memories of you being better at everything than me. 

 I can't help it if I'm stronger than Mona who has been punching that bag since November. It must have been her inspirational speech or the muscles I've built from holding up 600 page hardcover books for hours upon hours at a time.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Luna & Mona Bound For Somewhere

Photos by Mona
Mona and I have been having a rough time of things, with the coffee shop and Mona just getting kicked out of her band for working a full time job and still doing some solo stuff (they aren't even that good, so Mona is better off without them), so we needed a mental health day.

We both got off of work yesterday (the proper way, because calling in would just be wrong) packed up our suitcases (at the last minute, of course) and got in the car and drove.

This is a habit of ours. When ever we both have a day or two we take off on the open road. It's like running away from our lives, if only for a day. We don't have responsibilities or plans or people to deal with. We drive and drink coffee, see a movie or two, walk by the lake or find cute antique shops to browse through. 

No worries. 

It's wonderful. 

Now it's back to real life. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Another Post About Charles

Okay, do you remember back in November when I accidentally went on a date with Charles to see The Hunger Games? And then how I tried everything in my power to convince myself it wasn't a date? (It really wasn't)

Well, yesterday. Dad really wanted to see The Hunger Games and, because nobody would go with him and he didn't want to go alone, I said I would go with him.

I posted on Facebook: Hunger Games for a third time? Why not. 

The first reply that I got was: Good idea, I might have to try that. From Charles.

With in two seconds of him posting this I got harassing messages from my family and friends (who still insist it was a date) saying he was basically begging to go with me.

Normally if anyone posted something like this, I would be all "HEY! COME WITH US!" 

But instead I said: It may seem obsessive, but I'm okay with it.

What kind of lameness is that? I didn't want to ignore him and I didn't want my family to mock me more, so that's the best I could come up with on short notice. But, in my defense, saying "do you want to go out with me and my daddy?" didn't seem like the best option either. Just because I can write a blog, doesn't guarantee I can come up with good stuff to say on the spot that requires real life social skills.

When Dad picked me up for the movie he said he was going to post something on my status about asking Charles if he wanted him to bow out so Charles and I go to the movie alone.


I know he likes to try and embarrass me (it's a sport of his), but that would have been crossing a line.

On a normal day this would have been upsetting and awkward enough, but earlier that day I found out that Becky, who works in the same Clinic as I do, has been referring to Charles as my boyfriend to the entire second floor!

I was training another girl, Jackie, who normally works on the second floor. Charles comes out to the front desk to say hi and as soon as he leaves Jackie turns to me and says "Oh, so that is your boyfriend"

Two seconds later this conversation took place:


Becky: Umm lots of stuff lol she sits by me every day...we share. I might or might not have said you and her son would be cute together

Me: Not that.

Becky: Oh lol then what are you talking about? Charles?

Me: The first time Charles walks out here she says “so that’s your boyfriend?” Not in front of him thankfully!

Becky: ...this is awkward.

Me: What do you have to say for yourself?

Becky: I’m ashamed

Me: What exactly have you been telling people?

Becky: I swear I have just told her that I’m trying to set you up with him, but Kayla and I kinda refer to him as your bf so I can seeeeee some people taking it the wrong way

Me: I hate you.

Becky: I didn't mean to!!!!!

Me: Yes you did.

Becky: I will simmer it down

Me: You will shut it down.

Becky: Fine. Consider Operation Luna’s Prosthetic Heart shut down. (Charles works in the Prosthetics department, in case you didn't know why Becky thinks she funny)

Me: That’s what you've been calling it?

Becky: I just thought of it. Genius I know.

Me: No.

I think I need to find me some new friends and family.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Productive is Overrated

This past Saturday Mona left me home alone. I didn't want to go out because it was icy (okay, so maybe I wouldn't have left the house either way, but it's still a legitimate reason). So I was stuck alone and "couldn't" leave the house.

I was on stumbleupon the day before and ran across this article about how productive people are productive. Puke. I don't even know why I read it. It was about making goals and getting things done. Not one ounce of procrastination was to be found. It was sickening. They even mentioned turning off technology for a few hours to get stuff done. What kind of crazy is that?!? Let's just say I didn't save the page on my bookmark bar.

Well, somehow it must have worked it's way into my brain a little bit, because as I sat alone on Saturday I got the idea to try and shut of technology for a few hours to see what would happen.

I set my timer for two hours (because I didn't want to over do it), shut of my TV, closed the computer, and set my phone down.

Like I said I couldn't leave the house, so I walked downstairs to search for something productive. I didn't feel like cleaning and strangely I didn't feel like reading. I sat and twiddled my thumbs and walked around my apartment for awhile. Never have I felt less productive. I literally stood twiddling my thumbs. Looking for something "productive" to do.

I thought to myself "I can do this. It's only two hours. You're not THAT addicted to technology. You can find something do to."

Then my phone went off.

I stared at it. I looked back out into the abyss of non productivity that was my living room. I looked back to my phone.

I wasn't getting anything done. I wasn't being productive. I wasn't doing anything.

I gave in and grabbed my phone.

I made it a half hour. It was the longest thirty minutes of my life.

I then proceeded to binge watch five documentaries on Netflix and gorge myself on all the internet while also checking messages on my phone. It was glorious. AND it was far more productive than twiddling my thumbs and staring at the walls. Do you know how much stuff I learned from the documentaries alone?!?!?! Too much to tell you, but don't worry I'm slowly giving Mona all the details (she loves it).

Friday, January 10, 2014

100th Blog Post

I really wanted to vent and be bitchy today, because I'm in a bad mood, but then I realized that this is my 100th Post!!!! So, I guess I've got to be on my best behavior. You know all celebratory and sweet and friendly and inspirational and wonderful. Not bitchy. Bitchy isn't flattering and I'm trying to get people to like me.

 It does't feel that long ago since I wrote my first post. I think it's my least favorite. It's super intimidating to write your first blog post and you always have it hanging there. It sets up everything that your blog is and will be. People will always judge you on that first post. I only know this from the pure and simple fact that I ALWAYS judge other people on their first post! (gosh, bitchy and judgy. This isn't coming off as very sweet and friendly.)

I've told you all about my drama with some patients at work and how it kept going and kept going and never seems to end. Did I tell you that my Homicidal Villain and her husband are REALLY trying to get back together? They are back living in the same house and he just makes sure to lock up all the drugs, so she won't try to kill him with them again. THEY ARE BOTH CRAZY!!!

I also told you about my creepy stalker patient who never seems to go away.

You followed me as I started my new job as a Batista and all the ups and downs that came with it until it finally came to an end. This journey was a hard one, but it was full of good life lessons. Mona and I left with grace and integrity, but I still haven't been back there since because who knows how I'd react. I think the experience will ultimately help me to be a better business owner and boss when I open my own coffee shop.

You have celebrated a milestone birthday with me and helped me come up with my costume for Thanksgiving.

I have shared my faults of crankiness, my fear of dating, how I can get super stressed, nervous, and anxious and how I can turn anything into a Doctor Who reference. Wait. That last one goes on my list of positive qualities.

I've showed off my crafting skills, my writing skills, and my ability to dump a glass of water on my own head to wake myself up in the morning. I think that last one takes real talent. Be jealous.

Now you may be asking what I have learned from blogging...okay, so maybe you don't really care, but I do and this is a self reflection post, so this is what you're getting. Like it or not!

I've learned about commitment. Normally I get bored with new things after a month, but I've made it five and a half months blogging with only missing a day or two here and there. I like it. It's rewarding. Makes me proud of myself. I might keep up this whole commitment thing.

I've become a better writer. Or at least I think so, this one can be kinda subjective. You will have to judge for yourself. And if you went back and read my first post, I'm sure you can judge me quite nicely. I sometimes make up new words and my punctuation is terrible, but I think I'm becoming more articulate. That's something!

I've learned more about myself. Keeping a blog has made me really sit down and think about my thoughts and feelings instead of pushing them under a rug and putting an elephant on top of them. I've found that I'm moody and insecure and clumsy and happy and weird and strong and nerdy and creative and thankful and scared and passionate and even a little bit funny at times. And all of that's okay. I'm happy with who I am. Good and bad. No need to hide under the carpet any more.

I've learned that all the people online don't want to scam and/or murder you. Now, I'm not saying that I'm giving you all my social security number anytime soon, but you guys are kinda great. It's a common misconception that my mother drilled into me, but I've found you all to be less murderous and more sweet and kind. Now I know you might be secretly plotting my demise, but if so, you guys are doing a wonderful job of hiding your devious plans. I'll never see it coming!

So, thank you for putting up with me and all my crazy and here's to all the adventures and life lessons to come in the next 100 posts!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Bachelor Confession

Okay guys. I have a truly embarrassing confession. It's something I am truly ashamed of more than anything
in life.

I watch The Bachelor.

I hate it and everything it stands for with every fiber of my being. It's a bunch of unnecessarily desperate woman fighting for one guy. And this guy? He's seeing other woman. Kissing them and telling them he loves them.
Hell no.

No woman should put up with that. It's degrading. Everyone deserves better.

I was forced in to watching The Bachelor a few seasons back because of Mona and Becky. I didn't watch willingly and I complained the entire time. I still do. But to quote Miley Cyrus, I can't stop!!

I don't watch for the romance or the fairy tale happy ending. I watch for the crazy woman and their insane drama. I think it is one of the funniest shows on television!

Where else can you see someone faking a pregnancy to tell a guy she wants kids, or a grown woman riding up the street playing a piano or a woman trying to win someones heart by telling him that her fiance left her last month. You can watch a creepy massage therapist giving a guy in a suit an awkward massage and upon leaving saying "I guess he didn't touch me like I touched him."  You can also find new job professions such as "Free Spirit" and "Dog Lover" (Becky: Dog lover? I think that's illegal). And that was just in the first episode this season!

And it only get's crazier! These poor women act like this is a last change, life or death scenario.

I have never seen more drama or tears anywhere in my life.

Gosh this makes me sound like a terrible person, bu t I love laughing at their emotional pain.

I have a problem.

On a serious note 
I want to talk about Gia. One of the past bachelor contestants. She took her own life this
past year only two hours after her boyfriend told her he didn't love her anymore.

I want to say to those people out there who are lonely and afraid, heartbroken and hurt, alone and scared, that there are people out there that truly love you.

It may not be a man, but there are people who love you. People who's world would be torn apart if you took your own life. A mother who would be left to weep for her child. A friend who would never be the same. A coworker who could have been a shoulder to lean on. Even a stranger, who you unknowingly made an impact on their life, would think of you everyday. Our lives touch other people more than we even know. One man isn't worth it. It's these people who make it worth it. Life, even with all it's hurt and pain, sometimes more than we think we can bare, is worth it. You are worth it. 

Please don't give up.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I Am Weird

I came to the realization yesterday that I am...weird

Yes, I know it's hard to believe.

"You weird Luna? Never. You must be thinking about Mona."

Sorry to burst your bubble of my perfection, but it's true. I am weird.

I normally try to hide this weirdness on a daily bases, but when I'm tried I can't focus enough to keep it a bay, and yesterday boy was I was tired.

First of all and worst of all, Mona woke up up from a nap (I have a bad nap history). I never feel more hatred for someone then when they wake me up from a nap and seeing Mona's ugly stupid face right above me telling me she called me eight times because we had plans to go to dinner caused nothing but pure and utter hatred in my very soul towards her.

But that's not what caused me to realize my weirdness. (I feel completely justified in being slightly upset from being aroused from a light nap)

What I realized is that when I'm tired I become Captain Obvious.

Yesterday, Mona, still on the defensive from my verbal abuse and dirty looks, annoyingly pointed it out.

I say things like:

"It's cold outside we need to put on our coats"

 "We need to pay for the food"

"Grab the key before you leave the house"

That's not even the weird thing. The weird thing I realized is...this is just me thinking out loud.

I think these things every time I have to do something. I have to remind myself it's cold outside and I need to put on my coat, or make sure you don't lock yourself out of the house, or we need to pay the bill before we can get up, put on our coat, grab the keys and leave.

I am constantly running through the list of things I have to do to get from point A to point B when something needs to be done. Like leave the house.

When I'm tired I have to think these things out load to remind myself even more to do them or I will get locked out of the house without a coat in the middle of winter.

Mona thought I was trying to annoy her by reminding her to do things, but the truth is I was talking out loud to remind myself.

If that's not weird, I don't know what is.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Interview With A Roommate

Mona and I interviewed the first roommate candidate yesterday.

The hardest part was trying to get the place to look clean enough that people would actually want to live there. We were only cleaning for four straight days (we were also both working full time and had homework and had to procrastinated some to keep up our it wasn't that bad).

Her name is Candy. She is a friend of ours. She's part of Mona's Song Share group. A group of local musicians who get together and share music with each other. Basically a big jam sesh.

My favorite thing about Candy is that she works at Starbucks and gets free coffee...that she is willing to share with us!!

Sure, sure I like her just fine, she's nice, but the coffee. She can move in now please. Any problem that we have can easily be solved with free coffee. We will be just fine.

And she didn't mind the room darkening drapes everywhere. She actually said she liked them (I don't know if this was just to be agreeable to get the place or if she really meant it, but either way I'll take it).

She said she was just talking to a friend about wanting to move out and specifically said that she didn't think Mona and I were looking for a roommate and the VERY next day Mona posted our roommate ad.

I think that's what you would call fate.

Mona and I both think she would do well as our roommate.

She left us saying she would think about it and her money situation and get back to us, but that she was probably going to go home and start packing.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Baby, It's Really Cold Outside

It's cold. 

I know the weather is something you really only talk about when you have nothing else to say, but it's REALLY COLD outside!

The temp when I woke up this morning was -14 with a windchill of -44 (that is actually what my weather app reported and not a gross exaggeration). 

Unfortunately, I think I have been outside more today than I have all winter and it's only 7:30 AM. 

As soon as I woke up I bundled up and when out to my car to make sure it would start. It chugged a little and my windshield wiper wouldn't work, but it did start. 

Then I lugged myself back inside. 

After getting ready for work, I bundled up again and made my way back out to my car. Once in said care, I reached for my phone that should have been in my pocket...only to find it was not there. 

It was practically 1000 degrees below zero (if you round) and if my car stalled I would NEED my phone to call for help or I would freeze to death!

So, back outside I trudged in search of my phone. 

I couldn't find it anywhere, I thought it might be hiding because it didn't want to go outside it the cold. After awhile I gave up and went back to my car in hopes that I wouldn't freeze to death on my way to work. 

Apparently it had fallen out of my pocket and was sitting right on the seat. 

Stupid phone.

I drive all the way to work and just as I start to get out of my car to go inside, I realize...I left my key at home! I can't get in the building. While extremely frustrated that my inanimate objects are not working well with me today and apparently trying to kill me, I'm just glad I didn't walk across the frozen tundra of a parking lot before I realized I was locked out of the building for another twenty minutes. 

So, instead I drove to the gas station across the street. That way I didn't have to sit out in my freezing car for that long, because even though it had been running for the last 40 minutes, it still wasn't fully warm. 

Back out of the car to go in and out of the gas station.

Then back across the street to wait in my car another five minutes before the doors unlocked. 

When the time finally came I made the trek across the parking lot. Thankfully the doors were unlocked. I made my way in through the first set of doors only to find the second set of doors unusually locked. I was trapped in the entry way.

I know that last part isn't technically standing outside, but it was it still counts. I could have froze to death in the two minutes I had to wait!

I had to pick the coldest day to be forgetful. 

Or maybe it's the cold making me forgetful? 

Yup. I'm gonna blame the cold. 

Thursday, January 2, 2014


Happy 2014 people!! We made it. There was no 2013-2014 New Year's Apocalypse like Y2K. I, personally, am still worried about zombies. I haven't seen any yet, but you never know. It's a slow starting apocalypse. I'm just saying keep your eyes open for the next few months.

Well, Mona and I have been talking today about the possibility of roommates. Since I am trying to "say yes more" and we are trying to save money for Italy and opening our coffee shop, so I said yes.

I, of course, went right to Craigslist. Even if my mother would kill us for finding a roommate on Craigslist, I like looking for laughs.

We could be sharing our place with a 55 year old woman right now or we could take a chance on someone who is looking for a drama free place (sorry Mona is all drama) or there is the person who insists on exactly 1/2 of the fridge space and one-three shelf cupboard in the kitchen. All sound promising to me.

Mona took the more sane approach and posted to her actual friends on Facebook.

We already have two people interested in our rooms. I mean, come on, who would not want to live with us?

To save extra money Mona and I are renting out two rooms and sharing the third. Mona and I are going to go from having a three bedroom apartment to ourselves to sharing a room. We are going to be extra super close sister roomies. We have never shared a room before, so this will be interesting. Hopefully we are mature enough to handle it without having to put tape across the room. (although I might still do it to annoy Mona)

The super bad thing is now I have to move my timeline on cleaning my apartment up to this week instead of waiting until the end of the year to meet my resolution and possibly adjust it to keep it clean at all times. YUCK.

I'm also going to have to be nicer. I like to be a hermitis vampire when I get home and with people around they will want to talk to me. They might even want to open the room darkening drapes and turn on the lights! I don't know how I'm going to react if they open the drapes! I might hiss a little bit.

Sigh, but I think it will be good, so I won't hiss and complain too much. I might even try to like it a little bit, but no promises. I don't want you to hold me to it and complain when I complain. That just wouldn't be good for anybody.