Taxidermy Gift Ideas

Last night, around one in the morning, as I was asking my roommates for this month's rent, I asked how they would feel about me starting a taxidermy collection.

Kat: (with a high pitched squeak to her voice) That would be great...

Candy: (running towards the door) Well, it was nice living with you guys! Bye!

Mona: Can we please!!! Oh buy this! We could hang it on the wall in the dining room right above the table!

This is why I love Mona. 

It all started because I was looking for a birthday gift for her and you all know how that's been going so far ...I get easily distracted.

Well, this is what I was asking about getting, but there are lots of great options out there, so I wanted to run it by her and my roommates first.

Piranha

Here are some of our other options: 

Fortune Telling Squirrel

Alligator Claw

This one is Mona's favorite:

Puffer Fish Lamp

As we were searching through Etsy for different Taxidermy options, Candy was grossing out at everything!

Candy: Can't we get something cute instead?

Me: What animals do you consider cute?

Candy: Umm...ducks...

Me: Okay, lets me look up some ducks!

A moment later...

I don't even know

Okay, so maybe ducks aren't that cute anymore...I might have nightmares about that one. Maybe this whole taxidermy thing isn't that great of an idea...

Then this morning, after I got over the trauma that was that duck, I decided to kept looking.

GUYS I THINK I FOUND THE PERFECT ONE!!

Background Info: Mona and Candy both sing and play guitar and go busking.

I sent everyone this picture over Facebook:

Me: What about this one?

Busking Duck

Mona: How fitting!

Candy: This quacks me up!

Me: Is that a yes?

Candy: Duck yes it is!

Now if anyone has $50 they want to loan me...Taxidermied animals are expensive! Fifty dollars? Really? No wonder I haven't started collecting Taxidermy before, maybe I'll start a rock collection instead. It may not be as cool, but it's cheaper!

The Sweat Suit

When Mona got home yesterday she had an armful of goodies with her. She had gone to our local Sporting Goods Store and went on a little shopping spree. She bought a jump rope and ten pound exercise balls. She proudly showed off her new toys.

I thought she had showed me everything. 

A few hours later we are sitting around with our future new roomie, Candy, and she was showing off her new stuff.

Mona: Do you want to see what else I bought.

Candy: Yes.

Me: There's more...that you've been hiding? This has got to be bad. 

Mona: Let me go try it on for you.

Me: Try it on? Oh no. This is definitely not going to be good. Tell me you didn't get the garbage bag. 

Mona: Shush. 

For the past few years, Mona has been trying to buy a plastic sweat suit, but on the sheer ridiculousness of it and the outrageous cost, for basically a garbage bag, I have talked her out of it. 

She hides her bag and dashes quickly off to the bathroom and loudly slams the bathroom door. Candy and I sit in anticipation. We hear the sound of plastic being whipped out of it's packaging. I really think she bought that stupid sweat suit.

Mona With Her Exercise Ball in The Sweat Suit

Out comes Mona. 

No only did she by a sweat suit, she went and bought the upgraded sweat suit with a hood. Candy and I burst out in laughter at the sight. 

Me: How much did you spend on this thing.

Mona: It doesn't matter.

Me: I'm going to Google it. 

Mona: DON'T! Just let it be.

Me: Obviously too much. I don't even want to know anymore. 

As she was sitting and sweating on our living room chairs, she stated to read the information inside the box. She caught up on the different types of exercises she could do in the suit and was impressed to find out all the heat locking features the it was had. 

While finding out all this fascinating stuff a small piece of paper quickly slipped out from Mona's hands and floated gently onto the living room floor in front of us.

CALIFORNIA PROPOSITION 65 WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and/or other reproductive harm.

Mona: That's only if you eat it...right?

Me: You're a goner, you've already had it on too long.

Mona: Or if you wear it without underwear. Don't worry guys, I'm wearing underwear.

Me: Ewe.

Mona: It's probably just because you look so ugly in it that no one want to have babies with you.

It's so ugly even Mona can't deny it.