Sleeping Beauty

Mona came home from a long day of work. She plopped herself down in one of the chairs in our living room. We chit catted and caught up for a little while and then, after sometime, she lay her head back on the recliner, closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Four hours later she comes to sleepily and asks what time it is. 5:20. She has an engagement at 6 and still needs to get ready. 

Mona: Why did you make me fall asleep? 

Me: Because I'm evil. 

Mona: Humph...

Me: Like Maleficent 

Mona: WHAT? (Looking around confused and horrified)

Me: Maleficent?

Mona: What? (still looking around confused and horrified, I am beginning to think she might still be asleep) 

Me: You know, from Sleeping Beauty? 

Mona: STOP it! 

She yells and then, with a pout on her lips, closes her eyes and falls back asleep. 

I look at her in confusion. I'm not sure if she was yelling at me to stop being a weirdo or to stop putting her under a sleeping spell? I guess I'll never know because when she finally woke up, she didn't remember the conversation. 


{Update: Mona just called me and said "I didn't get to read it, but I saw a glimpse of your blog post and since It's called 'Sleeping Beauty' I can only assume it's about me." I quickly replied "If it was about you it'd be called 'Sleeping Ugly'." So if Mona asks this post is not about her.}

Sleeping Problems

I know I've been talking about this a lot, but when someone interrupts my sleep it is a great sin against humanity and therefore must be documented so they can properly pay for their evil transgressions and ungodliness in the afterlife.

 I told you how Mona and I are sharing a room to save money, while it took me a minute to get used to sharing a room, but I've been doing fine. I turn on my little fan to drown out the noises of the TV she watches late at night and everything is good.

Last night was not so good.

Over the last three days I have been with people non stop. My introverted self was exhausted. Last night, after The Bachelor recording cut off half way through the show, I left Mona to entertain and said goodnight to our guests.

Peace at last. My head was pounding (a strange side effect of being with people too long...not that I hate people..they just make me tired and literally give me a headache) and I was ready for sleep.

Around midnight the lights of my bedroom turn on and Mona and Becky come clattering in chattering away like there wasn't another person sleeping in the room who had to be up in a few hours for work.

They left the lights on and continued to cackle away.

I, thinking they would grow tired and go to bed, let it go on until one o'clock in the morning. I was exhausted and cranky from being woken up. I didn't have the energy to lift my head and give them a proper talking to, so I sent a text to Mona.

Me: This is not ok.

Mona: You said you can't hear anything with the fan.

Me: The lights are on and you are loud.

Mona jumped up quick and turned out the lights. Her and Becky started to snicker and they used the lights from their phones to make shadow puppets on the wall above my head.

I was not amused. I was ready to jump up, grab them by the hair, and throw them down the stairs (did I mention I have very violent thoughts in this state). I exercised my powers of restraint and sent a text message instead.

Me: You need to stop or get out.

They finally shut up and stopped messing around. It was for their own well being.

Now that it's morning and I have finished my first cup of coffee, I realize, again, that I have a problem. There is not way to fix it, I'm not in control. The only way to stop this from happening is if people learn to stop waking me up while I'm sleeping.

WARNING: DO NOT WAKE LUNA UP EVER or you will suffer her extreme wrath.

I worry for the safety of my unborn children.

I Am Weird

I came to the realization yesterday that I am...weird

Yes, I know it's hard to believe.

"You weird Luna? Never. You must be thinking about Mona."

Sorry to burst your bubble of my perfection, but it's true. I am weird.

I normally try to hide this weirdness on a daily bases, but when I'm tried I can't focus enough to keep it a bay, and yesterday boy was I was tired.

First of all and worst of all, Mona woke up up from a nap (I have a bad nap history). I never feel more hatred for someone then when they wake me up from a nap and seeing Mona's ugly stupid face right above me telling me she called me eight times because we had plans to go to dinner caused nothing but pure and utter hatred in my very soul towards her.

But that's not what caused me to realize my weirdness. (I feel completely justified in being slightly upset from being aroused from a light nap)

What I realized is that when I'm tired I become Captain Obvious.

Yesterday, Mona, still on the defensive from my verbal abuse and dirty looks, annoyingly pointed it out.

I say things like:

"It's cold outside we need to put on our coats"

 "We need to pay for the food"

"Grab the key before you leave the house"

That's not even the weird thing. The weird thing I realized is...this is just me thinking out loud.

I think these things every time I have to do something. I have to remind myself it's cold outside and I need to put on my coat, or make sure you don't lock yourself out of the house, or we need to pay the bill before we can get up, put on our coat, grab the keys and leave.

I am constantly running through the list of things I have to do to get from point A to point B when something needs to be done. Like leave the house.

When I'm tired I have to think these things out load to remind myself even more to do them or I will get locked out of the house without a coat in the middle of winter.

Mona thought I was trying to annoy her by reminding her to do things, but the truth is I was talking out loud to remind myself.

If that's not weird, I don't know what is.

Daughter of the Year Award

I am a terrible, crappy, atrocious, absolutely horrifyingly dreadful daughter!

Background Story

I don't sleep at night. I am a terrible insomniac (and it's not because of all the coffee...I have tested this before). I function on about four to five hours of very interrupted sleep and can go about life perfectly fine, so it doesn't bother me much.

But, after a while of not sleeping, well I kinda crash. I never see it coming. I tell myself I'm just going to close my eyes for a minute...take a little half hour nap.  
Before I know it I'm woken up twelve hours later with someone banging on my door with life support.

During this time I am, as Mona calls it, "dead to the world". I don't hear a thing. I am completely passed out with drool running down my face and all.

Mona says she has tried to wake me when I have been in this "napping" state before and all she will say is don't poke the bear while it's napping.

I don't remember anything.

I was just napping. No life support needed.

Yesterday

I got off of work early (I know crazy concept). Mona was working late, so I was going to be home alone and my mom was in Milwaukee, so my dad was home alone. I called to see if he wanted to go to dinner with me, so we didn't have to eat alone.

I CALLED TO MAKE THE PLANS!

I got off work at one and we weren't going to be eating dinner until five, so I foolishly thought to myself that I have time to take a little nap. I will even set my alarm for four just in case.

I found my self woken up from someone pounding on the walls downstairs. I thought it was my neighbors because we have paper thin apartment walls and I swear they have 12 kids. I looked at the clock and went into a panic because it said 7:30 meaning I was suppose to be at work thirty minutes ago!

As I was running around like a mad woman, I grabbed my phone and noticed I had seven missed calls, several text message, and even Facebook notification from my Father, Mother, and Mona all questioning if I was alive or not.

Finally what really happened clicked. It was 7:30 PM and I missed dinner with my dad.

The banging was still going on as I hurriedly dialed my dad's number to apologize and let him know I was in fact still alive.

The banging stopped.

Come to find out the banging was my father at my front door and not the noisy neighbors with the twenty-six children.

My dad was so concerned with my well being that he drove across town and stated banging on my door to check to make sure I was okay. He thought I was literally dead.

Mona said she knew I was sleeping.