Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Pimp?

Apparently I would make an excellent pimp.

My roommates and I were sitting around the table making Wiskey and Brandy Old Fashioneds to see if we liked them, when all of sudden the topic of pole dancing and pimps came up. (I don't even remember how or why, so don't ask me) We are all laughing and joking when suddenly C stops the conversation "WAIT!" and points at me with a straight face and very seriously says, "Luna, you would make a great pimp! You are so organized!" The room went real quiet for a minute as we stared at her and then we burst out laughing as C tried desperately to argue the seriousness of her point.

Then, a few days later we are sitting in the living room when Mona comes running down the stairs. "C?! What is this video on your Snapchat Story!?!?"

"What video?" C asks.

Mona holds out her phone and shows us all the video. It's C sitting with her friends having a very serious conversation about how I would make an excellent pimp because I'm so organized. She just can't stop talking about me being a pimp.

First of all, thank you. As I look around at my mess I seriously doubt my organization skills, but I must be doing something right to trick you into believing this.

Second, I didn't realize organization was a major pimp requirement, but now that you say it it makes sense.

Third, I think you talking about me being a great pimp over and over implies that you are asking me to be your pimp. Are you in some kind of trouble? Do you need help? 

Fourth, Mom, I think I might be changing my life plan.

I Don't Need to Shower

I'm pretty sure I smell today.

I worked out last night and went to bed without showering because in summer it's pointless to shower before bed because I sweat all night anyways (because it's hot, not because I'm an unusually sweaty person. I just want to clarify that point).

Well, I wake up this morning and go to start my normal routine, only to find my Roommate, Kat, in the shower. Wait...that came out wrong. I didn't walk in on her in the shower, the door was just shut and I heard the shower running...I made assumptions. Gosh, that would have made for a real embarrassing story if I had actually walked in on her. (picturing that scenario in my head...)

Anyways, I thought "Oh okay, I guess I'll just wait."

I waited and waited. I GET READY AT THIS TIME EVERYDAY!

I was really starting to get nervous because I needed a shower and even if I didn't shower all of my stuff to get ready was in there.

So, I waited some more. Constantly watching the clock tick down the minutes slowly inching it's way closer and closer to seven o'clock.

I waited until 10 minutes before I had to leave for work and she was still in the shower.

Finally, I grabbed my clothes and went downstairs to the small bathroom. I tried to wash up in the sink with the hand soap, I threw my hair up in a ponytail, and I used Mona's deodorant that was sitting out on the counter. I had some body spray in my room that I coated myself in and prayed my hair didn't look too greasy as I ran out the door.

I still feel gross.

Interview With A Roommate

Mona and I interviewed the first roommate candidate yesterday.

The hardest part was trying to get the place to look clean enough that people would actually want to live there. We were only cleaning for four straight days (we were also both working full time and had homework and had to procrastinated some to keep up our reputations...so it wasn't that bad).

Her name is Candy. She is a friend of ours. She's part of Mona's Song Share group. A group of local musicians who get together and share music with each other. Basically a big jam sesh.

My favorite thing about Candy is that she works at Starbucks and gets free coffee...that she is willing to share with us!!

Sure, sure I like her just fine, she's nice, but the coffee. She can move in now please. Any problem that we have can easily be solved with free coffee. We will be just fine.

And she didn't mind the room darkening drapes everywhere. She actually said she liked them (I don't know if this was just to be agreeable to get the place or if she really meant it, but either way I'll take it).

She said she was just talking to a friend about wanting to move out and specifically said that she didn't think Mona and I were looking for a roommate and the VERY next day Mona posted our roommate ad.

I think that's what you would call fate.

Mona and I both think she would do well as our roommate.

She left us saying she would think about it and her money situation and get back to us, but that she was probably going to go home and start packing.

Roommates

Happy 2014 people!! We made it. There was no 2013-2014 New Year's Apocalypse like Y2K. I, personally, am still worried about zombies. I haven't seen any yet, but you never know. It's a slow starting apocalypse. I'm just saying keep your eyes open for the next few months.

Well, Mona and I have been talking today about the possibility of getting...gulp...new roommates. Since I am trying to "say yes more" and we are trying to save money for Italy and opening our coffee shop, so I said yes.

I, of course, went right to Craigslist. Even if my mother would kill us for finding a roommate on Craigslist, I like looking for laughs.

We could be sharing our place with a 55 year old woman right now or we could take a chance on someone who is looking for a drama free place (sorry Mona is all drama) or there is the person who insists on exactly 1/2 of the fridge space and one-three shelf cupboard in the kitchen. All sound promising to me.

Mona took the more sane approach and posted to her actual friends on Facebook.

We already have two people interested in our rooms. I mean, come on, who would not want to live with us?

To save extra money Mona and I are renting out two rooms and sharing the third. Mona and I are going to go from having a three bedroom apartment to ourselves to sharing a room. We are going to be extra super close sister roomies. We have never shared a room before, so this will be interesting. Hopefully we are mature enough to handle it without having to put tape across the room. (although I might still do it to annoy Mona)

The super bad thing is now I have to move my timeline on cleaning my apartment up to this week instead of waiting until the end of the year to meet my resolution and possibly adjust it to keep it clean at all times. YUCK.

I'm also going to have to be nicer. I like to be a hermitis vampire when I get home and with people around they will want to talk to me. They might even want to open the room darkening drapes and turn on the lights! I don't know how I'm going to react if they open the drapes! I might hiss a little bit.

Sigh, but I think it will be good, so I won't hiss and complain too much. I might even try to like it a little bit, but no promises. I don't want you to hold me to it and complain when I complain. That just wouldn't be good for anybody.

"GET OUT OF MY OR!"

Mona and I live together in a very nice, three story, three bedroom apartment.

It's a very large space for just the two of us, so we tried renting out the extra third bedroom for awhile.

In under a year and a half we have managed to run off two roommates.

The first one said she wanted to "live on her own". I'm not sure if that should be taken as an insult or not? (just to clarify, no insult was really taken...although Mona was a little upset...she even wrote a song about it)

And the second one wanted to get away so bad she got appendices and racked up huge medical bills to get away from us (she's okay, she's just broke and couldn't afford to live with us anymore).

So, right now it's just the two of us.

We have thought about getting another roommate. But with roommates, who are not your siblings, you have to behave a little bit or else they run away in fear.

You can't do things like throw your keys in the middle of the floor when you walk in the house.

No more laying sprawled on the living room chair with drool hanging down your face.

Some roommates judge if you sit and watch Grey's Anatomy for three days straight.

And they don't like when you start a million different hobbies and leave your stuff laying everywhere.

You can't leave your underwear laying in the laundry room.

Or take up all the freezer space.

Or forget to do your dishes.

You can't live in the dark like a vampire by not turning on lights and using room darkening drapes.

And they look at you funny when you go into giggling fits that last all night.

And you have to deal with things like boyfriends coming over all the time when you like to live in a boyfriend free zone.

And the weird looks they give you when you try to act like a cat lady without any cats.

Not that I do any of these things...

Anyways, Mona and I have decided that we are going to forgo a roommate for the time being and turn our spare bedroom in to a all purpose media room.

This includes things like musical interments, recording equipment, books, TV, comfy chairs, fun nick knacks and such.

We also decided to call it our Operating Room.

 Mona has been dying to yell:

"GET OUT OF MY OR!"

But she has never been in an appropriate situation to yell it, seeing as she is not a surgeon (again, too much Grey's Anatomy), so this gives her the perfect opportunity.

I have a very strong feeling that I am going to be the one she's yelling at to get out of the OR.

We also bought an embarrassing large TV for the OR that we have yet to tell anyone about.

It's our dirty little secret.

We are suppose to be saving money for our coffee shop.

But how can we have a Media Operating Room without a nice TV?

It's just not possible.

At least there's no roommate to judge us...