SOMEONE STOLE MY COFFEE CUP LAST NIGHT!!!!
You don't seal someone's coffee mug, that's just not right.
I honestly think you could steal money from me and I'd be less upset. (not that you should try stealing money from me).
It's partially my fault. I normally tuck it into my drawer, to keep my desk tidy and clean and out of the way of the security guard who sits at my desk at night.
But, alas, yesterday I forgot about my little coffee cup and left him out on my desk.
This morning when I went to fill him up it was nowhere to be found. I checked EVERYWHERE!
I normally don't pull this, but I called my daddy. He is a big shot manager and in charge of security for our building.
Dad: Hello (said in a happy cheerful voice, unaware that the most devastating thing in the world had happened)
Me: Hello (said in an angry tone of voice, like I was aware that the most devastating thing in the world had happened)
Dad: Gosh, were's the love?
Me: There is no time for love. Somebody stole my coffee cup!
After I thoroughly explained how the cup mysteriously went missing from my desk, he assured me he would "take care of it" for me (I picture him doing this mob style).
A few minutes later I'm on a conference call with him and the head of security, Derrick (I also know him outside of work).
Derrick: Can you describe the cup in question to me?
|The Cup in Question|
Me: Um...It's white and says Starbucks on it and it has a cork bottom.
Dad: Does it have a handle or a lid?
Me: Oh, yes! A handle and a black lid.
Dad: Do you know how to describe things?
Me: No. (If it came to a real police investigation I would be the worst witness ever)
Derrick: Where was the last place you saw it?
Me: On my desk to the left of my keyboard.
Dad: Who was the last person to see the mug?
Me: Karen. She saw it sitting on my desk when she left at 5:00 PM.
Dad: How much does Karen need a coffee mug?
Me: She doesn't drink coffee, so she wouldn't need it at all.
Derrick: We have yet to get a hold of the security guard who was sitting at your desk last night, due to him probably sleeping, but we will try to get to the bottom of this.
Me: Thank you, Derrick.
I was happy to have the best men on the job, but at this point my coffee headache was setting in as I had yet to have a cup of coffee for the day due to this debacle. You know I need my HappyCappi!*
About 20 minutes later I have the head of the cleaning crew, Ed, at my desk.
Even: What's going on?
Me: Somebody stole my coffee cup!
Even: It wasn't one of my girls. The only girl who's over in this area wouldn't do it.
Me: Okay. (I didn't want to ague with him)
Even: How much does that coffee cup go for?
Me: It was expensive, around $20-$25.
Even: I'm going to make sure we get you a new coffee cup.
Me: You don't have to do that!
Even: It will be covered by the company. Get me a picture of that coffee cup.
I look it up online and printed the picture off. Come to find out it was a $31 coffee cup.
Even: You could have a hundred coffee cups for that price!
Me: It was a gift.
Even: I'll make sure we get you one by next week.
I just want my coffee cup back...the poor little thing must be sad and lonely without me. He never left my side while I was at work. My dear coffee buddy. Where are you?
(*I did find a disposable cup to drink my coffee, but it wasn't the same. There wasn't as much Happy to my Cappi)