Thursday, November 12, 2015

Dani Boo and The Weird

I think my coworker, Dani Boo (so called because she told me she hates the nicknames "Dani" and "Boo", so I thought I'd combine them together to create a nickname she would love even more. I'm also the only one she allows to call her this. I think it's because she secretly likes it. Even if she won't admit it.) is figuring out how weird I am (and no, the nickname thing is not weird). 

You know how when you meet new people, especially new coworkers, you try to act "normal" and all that crazy stuff. Well, that's what I had been trying to do, but when you work with a person you spend more time with them then you do your actual family, so you can't hide it forever. Well at least I couldn't.

I know the exact moment she discovered I was slightly more strange in nature than your normal person. Not your average bean (is that even a saying?). 

It was months and months ago that Dani Boo was upset because she'd seen another coworker's Facebook opened on a computer and the person was talking crap about her with another coworker. Typical office drama.

So anyways, we were sitting next to each other and she had just gotten done venting to me about it in tears and I had gone about doing my own thing...typing away ferociously on my computer...on Facebook.

She looks over at me and yells, "YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING CRAP ABOUT ME ON FACEBOOK!!"

Me, in utter shock, throw my hands up in a sign of surrender and cower away from her and say in a whisper, "I'm talking about renting goats on Amazon. I swear."

She was so taken aback, probably the last thing she thought would ever come out of my moth (or if i think about she probably expected that phrase to come out of anyone's mouth...ever) she was completely speechless and looked a little dumbfounded. I continued to hold my hands in the air and go on, "Apparently you can't just rent one to play with for the afternoon. You have to get a bunch and they have to come and assess your land and set up fences and they come and check on them every so often and stuff."

Dani Boo started shaking her head and laughing, "I love you, Luna."

That's when her eyes were truly opened to who I really am a person. Weird. Someone how instead of gossiping about a coworker, like normal women, likes to talk about renting goats via Amazon (and in case you were wondering I never was able to rent them because they are not available in my area) . It was the first, but it definitely not the last she would see this weird side of me. And most times they end with head shakes and eye rolls and not all "I love you, Luna's"

Here are some of the few examples of head shake worthy moments: 

There's the time I read her boyfriend's Heating and Air Conditioning textbook that she was trying to return. I told her I liked to read textbooks as a hobby and I was sad when she took the book away from me.

Or how I've been talking insistently about my new D&D character. I am Isteth of Kailasa (translation: Knowledge/Lore of the Silver Mountain) High Elf of the Grey Mountain. I've been telling her all my backstory and drawing character pictures and everything. I'm pretty sure I'm driving her crazy.

I also accidentally ordered mini post-it notes that she hates, so I doodle pictures on them and then give them to other coworkers as gifts. She has gotten quite a few of them and I haven't heard her complain...that much. Once she complemented me on one and I gave it to a coworker (WHO WAS SICK) and she got mad because she said she had wanted it.

I confessed to her that I had a taxidermy collection and then, after telling me how gross and disturbing it was that I even had a taxidermy collection, I brought them all in for show and tell. She'll deny it to your face and probably tell you she looks at me in a different light, but I know she liked Reggie the Puffer Fish (the one she was claiming was the weirdest only the day before) way more than she let on.

Also, along those lines, she was complaining about a wisdom tooth engagement ring that was going around the internet and I told her I would not mention how I was looking at eye ball rings the night before (not that I was going to buy it...I was just looking at it. Please. I'm weird, but not that weird). 

Or there was the time I was obsessed with the question "could you taste your tongue" and kept talking about it for days while sticking my tongue in and out of my mouth (I make that sound like it was a long time ago but maybe it just started this week. And if anyone can answer the question please let me know). 

So maybe I'm a little weird and maybe now you know a little bit more about me then you ever wanted to know, but 'm okay with it and that's all that matters.