Biffs And The Werepups

After yesterday's post, I think I'm feeling a lot better. I've laughed a lot more then I have in the last few weeks. One of the things I laughed at the most was this conversation on BIFFS:

Me: Mona can we get one of these?  

 www.werepups.com
(I HIGHLY recommend looking at this site. It's awesome!) 

Mona: I honestly don't know if those are cute or hideous lol

That makes me uncomfortable

But I think I also like them

But I don't really know

Me: So is that a yes?

Becky: I would have one lol

Mona: I...think... so

It might make me cry though

I have that strange sensation when I look at it. Like a "oh that's cute" then I cry

Becky: lol cry from the cuteness?

Mona: No

Becky: Do they speak?

Me: Becky! Do they speak?! They are babies! Of course they don't speak yet!

Becky: I don't know how fast werewolf puppies mature!

Me: Well there is a 10 month incubation period right now

and $650

Becky: Geesh

Me: You can get tiny ones for cheaper

But it's still a ten month wait

Becky: I would want a tiny one

Actually idk lol

Me: The tiny one fits in your and the big one sit in the crook of your arm

Becky: In my what??

Me: Don't tell me you've never heard "crook of your arm" before

Bend in your arm?

Mona: Lololol

Me: The crook of your arm or leg is the soft inside part where you bend your elbow or knee.

Becky: Nooo you said the tiny one fits in your...and didn't say anything after lol

Me: oh.

Sorry about that

Hand

The tiny one fits in your hand...

Becky: Much better lol

Me: lol

Mona: Wakward

Me: You thought the exact same thing Mona LaBlue!

Mona: You don’t know my life!

{I am secretly hoping Mona orders me one now for my birthday next year.}

Matchmaking

Becky: Martha said their new neighbor has a life sized TARDIS in their backyard!! Which she described as
"that big blue thing from that show". She said she would walk over with me and ask if I can take a pic in it.

Mona: You are such a nerd. If the neighbor man is single introduce him to Luna...actually DON'T!

Me: I think I'm offended! I don't know if it's more because you want to set me up or because you don't want me to date a nerdy man because I know you are thinking it will make me nerdier than I already am...

Mona:....yes.

Me: humph!

Becky: I just don't know if I want Luna to be with a nerdy man or the opposite of her?

Me: I'm not actually that nerdy of a person, I could meet a guy who is REALLY nerdy and we still wouldn't be the exact same.

Mona: You WILL become that much of a nerd.

Becky: It would just pull you deeper into your neediness.

Me: Is that a bad thing?

Mona: Yes.

Me: That's not very nice.

Mona: I like how she didn't say no to anything! She wants a man.

Becky: And she wants us to find her one!

Me: No. That is not the case whatsoever!

Mona: OMGGGG! You are so right Becky! Shall we begin?

Me: NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!

Mona: Challenge accepted!

Me: Dear lord NO!

My Whole Stupid Family Almost Died Last Night

My whole stupid family almost died on my last night.

And they didn't even tell me about it!!!

I'm scrolling through Facebook this morning and I come across a post from Mom:

I've mentioned before that Mona, Becky and I have a BIFFS group chat going on Facebook, while we also have a Famdamly chat going with Me, Mom, Dad, Mona and our honorary family member Becky. So I messed them right away.

Me: What where you guys doing last night?!?

Becky: sucking gas

Mom: Trying to see Jesus

Dad: I had to Dave the family from the grip of death. Somehow the gas stove was left on with no flame.
       
Save not Dave

Becky: thanks for daving us

Me: I don't think you guys should be left alone on Wednesday nights anymore (Mona, Becky and I go over to Mom and Dad's on Wednesday night and eat food. Mona and Becky spend the night and I go home to sleep in my own bed).

Nothing but deathly trouble every week.

Mom: Oh yeah the fire last week (last Wednesday their neighbor's house caught on Fire)...

           
Maybe you should stay from now on

   

Me: Do you all have wills drawn up

Mom: Never had a will. ..

Me: If you guys are going to try dying on me I think you should

Dad: Yes everything goes to my favorite daughter

Me: Yes, me, but if I could get that in writing

Mom: Probably should so you two don't fight over all or millions. . 

         
But you would've got it all. It was a serious thing. 

         
Upon reading you usually just don't wake up

Me: I KNOW!

Becky, you could also put me in your will if you would like

Becky: want my IPAD and TV? that's about all I have to give lol

Me: And any remaining money in your bank account. You may not have any now, but who knows if you die many years down the road and have money saved and didn't realize you didn't change your will for your husband and kids....I will get all of your money

Becky: And you can cash in my PTO (paid time off…we work together) or use it for vaca

Me: Hum...can you will someone your PTO?

Dad? Do you think you could do that? (Dad works in upper management in for our company)

I bet we can talk to a union rep...

Becky: If its in my will they can't deny it

Me: “My very last and greatest wish is that Luna get all of my PTO.”

Becky: I'll stop taking time off so it will grow and you will never have to worry about a day off in your life

Me: Thank you Becky

Dad: I'm pretty sure Luna’s going first, health u know

After awhile Mona decided to join. She doesn't work until two, so she misses out on most of our early morning chats. 

Mona: This is an interesting chat to catch up on!
   
Don't sign your Will over to Luna, she will murder you all

Mom: Agreed and we won't even know is happening

Becky: OMG! This is all part of her arch enemy (Yesterday we were watching Sherlock and they were talking about having arch enemies, so Becky and I decided to become each others)

Mom: Thanks Becky we were just collateral damage

Mona: She is the one who left the gas running. Luna, how could you do this to me! do you just want my $1,000ish money in my savings?

Mom: You guys have seen our banking

Me: Mona…
       
Way to ruin my plan.
       
And maybe I took some life insurance out on you guys as well
       
I mean don't listen to her!
       
She lies!

Mona: Luna, I thought you would include me in your plan...not "INCLUDE ME" in your plan!

Me: Mona you were giving me grief yesterday

Mona: I give you grief every day!

Becky: Luna I have nothing to offer you!

Mona: Except sweet sweet victory. It is all about the mind game!

Mom: It's really Becky she's in on it cuzz she got no money
         
She made up this nemesis story to trick us. . She pretended to be dead when I stared into her face listening for breath

Me: Becky isn't that clever

Mona: lol

Becky: Yes I am!

Mona: Oooo....good comeback

Becky: Thanks lol (I'm not sure if Becky caught the sarcasm in Mona's comment or if she actually took that as a compliment) 

All of our devious arch enemy plans aside, there was one thing bothering me...

I HAD TO FIND THIS OUT ON A FACEBOOK POST!!!!

Me: What I want to know Becky is why didn't you mention the fact that you all almost died when I talked to you at work this morning

Becky: near deaths happen to me all the time i'm used to it

Me: All my attempt at on your life my nemesis

Mona: you didn't ask if she almost died, that's why she didn't tell you

Becky: lol true you should have said "Becky how are you this morning? any near deaths?"

Me: Okay I'll start asking if there were any near death experiences since we parted last

Next we had to talk about all the symptoms of gas inhalation they were experiencing. 

Becky: I've feeling like i have to puke all day i hope i'm not dying from the gas
         
 Have you guys been feeling sick??

Mona; I feel kinda pukee

Becky: really?? so do i
           
its either the gas or the scones or the lack of Happy Endings (the tv show mom forgot to tape for us)

Mona: all of the above
           
I've pooped like 3 times already

Mom: I have a massive headache...we are ok its just what sometimes happens...should all be better tomorrow
           
Headache and nausea are the symptoms

Becky: i hope i didn't get brain damage

Mom: Nope just headache nausea or you don’t wake up
         
So if you two are puky I am headachy its was a miracle we are alive...

Mona: And I am poopie...don't forget about that!

Mom: That's good...leaving system.....let it flow let it flow (like frozen song)

Mona: That could be a PMS song too "Let it flow let it flow"

I wish I could say those last few lines were symptoms of the brain damage, but sadly they are not. 

Google Glass

Okay, I know I posed something already today, but this is major!

I COULD BUY GOOLE GLASS TODAY!!!!! And become an explorer....

Because Mona and I are trying to open a coffee shop we are trying to keep a tight reign on our money spending, but she opened up the door for spending...

Mona: really want to go get my tattoo.

Becky: what are you getting?? when??

Me: if you get a tattoo, can I buy google glass?

Mona: Because it is obviously the same price Luna...
I want to get "it is well" on my forearm under my elbow crease

Me: well...it's the first and only day they are available for the public.

Becky: how much are they?

Me: $1500
https://glass.google.com/getglass/shop/glass

Becky: worth it

Mona: Give me 5 reasons as to why that would be a good idea for our future business

Becky: you could be looking at recipes while you make coffee

Me:
1. we can work more efficiently, hands free while we work

2. we will show to be ahead of the times, therefore people will trust our business sense.

3. we will look cool, therefore people will like us and come to our business.

4. it will be a good conversation starter "hey you have google glass!!?" "Yes, I bought them to help with my coffee shop, come join me"

5. I would be one of the fist public people to have google glass and can train to start giving lessons when they are officially released to the public and make us money to open the coffee shop

Becky: all valid reasons

Me: thank you Becky.

Mona: Okay

Me: Really?!!? Because their tag line is "become an explorer" Mona I want to become an explorer.

Mona: If you think it will be beneficial. (I imagine this said with a snotty, know it all, manipulative, disapproving voice)

Me: I feel like you are saying "okay, if you think it will be beneficial", but I feel like you don't really believe it will be beneficial.

Becky: I don't think she thinks you are going to get it lol

Me: challenge accepted!

The Forehead Games

Yesterday, as I was leaving the house to go to work, I put on my hat, because it was a gazillion degrees below zero, and Mona started to point and hysterically laugh at me.

Mona: Your forehead!

Me: What about my forehead?

Me: You look like yourself when you were a baby. A bald little baby. Gah, I can't get over it. Try pulling your hat up to show some of your hair.

I pull my hat down over my eyebrows, because I always do the opposite of what Mona tells me to do.

Mona: Come on, pull it back.

So, I pull my hat back.

Mona: Do you have a fivehead?

She starts walking towards me with her hand held out to measure the length of my, apparently large, forehead.

Mona: Yep, I think it's a fivehead.

Me: Thanks.

Mona: You have a very distinctive forehead.

Me: Yeah right.

Mona: No, really, I could tell that forehead anywhere.

Me: You will have to prove this later, I'm going to be late for work.

So later that night I put her to the test over our Biffs conversation (an all day, everyday Facebook chat between Mona, Becky, and I).

With out any topic introduction I posted this:

Becky: Who is that? Me?

Mona: That is not Luna's forehead

Me:

Mona: Not a Luna Forehead

Becky: Oh that's def a Luna Forehead lol

Me: 

Becky: I love this game!! I'm thinking you are finding random images on Google am I right?

Mona: Not a Luna

Me:

Mona: Nope

Me:

Becky: Are you playing the spotted game?? I knew you liked Gossip Girl (Side Note: they have been trying to get me to watch Gossip Girl and I will have nothing to do with it based on the pure stupidity of it)

Mona: Not Luna. I told her that she has a distinct forehead

Becky: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Not Luna.

Me:

Mona: Nope.

Me:

Mona: LUNA!!

Me:

Mona: Nope.

Me:


Mona: That is really tiny, but no.

Me:

Mona: Nope.

Me: Wrong.

Mona: Oh no. I had a second of doubt then I said nope. Darn it. Now I see it

Me: Okay, I'm going to give you one ore chance to win. This is double or nothing.

 Mona: Both

Me: Is that your final answer?

Mona: Yes.

Me: You are correct!! You missed one out of four Luna Foreheads. Not bad.


I'll have to admit Mona better than I thought she would, especially since I was pulling from all my pictures, the last one was even of me as a baby. I guess Mona was right when she said that with a hat on my forehead looked like me as my bald baby self. 

What about you? Could you tell your friends and family by their foreheads?