Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Planet of Hobbies

So you remember the other day when I was helping my coworker look for a new hobby?

Well I decided that, since I don't do enough with my life, I'm going to try and do a new hobby or project every month! 

I want to try things like putting ships in a bottle and whittling. Who knows I could be really good at stuff I would never think to try. I could be the next...[insert some well known person who is the best at something]. I couldn't think of anyone, but you know what I mean. 

This month I am going to write the first draft of a book. I've already got the first chapter done! The working title is The Planet and lucky you, I am going to share it with you today! 

Remember...this is just a rough draft. Let me know what you think!

The Planet 

Feelings are a weakness
A lost deep art
One we do not have the pleasure of experiencing
If we feel we would crack into a million pieces.
They train us not to feel. Not break, not to think, but to act.
It’s the only way we survive.


We are humans invading the planet Asure because planet earth is crumbling under the weight of our humanity.

We discovered Asure twenty five years ago, ten if you ask the history books. Found a mere 5.8 billion km past the plutoid dwarf planet Pluto. The histories stated Pluto used to be considered a full blown planet. If they only knew what lay in the seemingly dark vastness just beyond, they would laugh at the idea of this small rock being a planet.

Four times the size of planet Jupiter with a similar atmosphere of earth at 30,000 feet above sea level.

It is the closest we have ever come to a habitable planet next to earth.

They started recruiting cadets five years into the project. Quest recruits were chosen young, so they would be able to survive the long journey and make it to the planet still strong enough to survive the thin atmosphere and hard rocky terrain.

Orphans and fosters were chosen in secret. Hidden from public knowledge to avoid protests and program shutdowns.

I was one of the first children drafted. A young boy at the age of five. I always found that poetic and thought myself as old as the planet Asure as we read the history of it’s true discovery. Years later I understood the planet was much older than my mere human years, but part of me will always hold on to that connection. My own private rebellion against the rules of independence.

They found me on the streets of Chicago, a tough kid, covered in dirt and grim. No parents to be heard of, I don’t remember ever having them. All I remember is the streets. They picked me up just as I was about to stab another boy for stealing a loaf of my bread.

I thought they were the police come to take me in for almost stabbing that boy, but instead of prison, they took me to The Facility and cleaned off the dirt, buzzed my long greasy black hair to get rid of the lice, gave me new clothes, fed me, and offered me the adventure of a lifetime. They said it would be hard, but worth it.

Honestly, they could have won me over with the food alone.

It was a tough program, but it suited me well. Anything was better than fighting for your life on the crowded streets of Chicago. There was hardly enough food for those with money, let alone the poor homeless kids on the street. To find a place that had enough food to go around was a miracle.

I dove right into the program and loved every minute of it.  

The training made me fall in love with the planet, Asure. It was so different from the harsh cruel world of earth. They said earth used to be a better place to live, but with the surging population growth, resources were slim and people were willing to do anything to survive.

Training made me feel disconnected from earth almost like this was the alien planet and Asure was my true home. One that I need to get back to at all costs.

Human contact was limited to survival exercises, Asure history and geography lessons, and basic rocket science and ship maintenance.

They were all individual classes. One on one with our teachers. We all knew there were other kids in our training program. We would see them walking down the halls and in and out of classrooms before and after us, but there were no interactions involved or allowed.  
There has only been one time I broke the no interaction code.

I was walking along the white washed training hallways unsupervised. I was around age 12 and was the ranking officer, so I was allowed to walk to and from classes by myself. One of the heavy steel classroom doors banged loudly from the inside. A shrill scream piercing the corridor. I was caught completely off guard and jumped out of my skin. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment, at the thought of anyone seeing my indiscretion. No one gets caught off guard.

The screaming continued as I regained my composure and creeped closer to the door, my eyes flashing up and down the hallway to make sure no one was watching me.

I was about to press my ear to the door to see if I could make out anything amongst the screams when the door burst open. Before I knew what was happening a flurry of flailing arms and hair crashed into me, toppling us both to the floor. I looked up to see a young female jr. office laying on top of me. Her breathing was heavy and there was anger and fear in her eyes.

“Is everything alright officer?” I asked as she lay on top of me, staring at me with her terrifyingly beautiful blue eyes. I knew I shouldn’t be asking questions, but I couldn’t help myself.

She quickly leaned in closer to me, pushing her cheek into my jaw and her lips right up to me left ear and frantically whispering, “Jayden, you must get out! Don’t let them take you, Den! They’re lying to you! They’re lying to us all!”

What did she mean, who was she running from, and how did this girl, who I’ve never met before,  know my name?

Before I could get any of my questions out the door behind us banged again and the girl shot up like a fox and ran down the corridor. My eyes followed after her.

A loud shot rang out from behind me, hissing loud as it flew over my head. The girl hitched, let out one last piercing scream, and fell face down, dead on the floor.

The lights flickered as I stare at her motionless body. Her white dress pooling blood red down her back and spilling onto the white tiled floor.

All this happening in mere moments.

I’ve learned about blood and death and I’d even seen cadavers in my studies before, but never anything like this. Nothing could prepare a person for this.

“Officer Jayden.”

A stern voice called from behind me. I startled at the sound and turned to look at the source of the girls fear, the source of the bullet, the source of her death. I stiffened in fear as I stared at the man dumbfoundead. He was one of the tactical professors. We didn’t have names for them, but this one was in charge of all the junior officers lessons. I remember him from my junior year.

When I didn’t speak his face grew angry and he yelled “Don’t you have lessons Officer or do I need to I need to report you to the board and get your privileges revoke!”

I swallowed hard, my adam’s apple bobbing up and down as I cleared my throat, “No, Sir. I was just on my way Sir.”

I stood up and walked past the man, away from the girl lying on the floor, and to my classroom. Just before I turned the corner I looked back. The Professor was turning over the girls body. Her eyes still open warning me once again to get away.

The incident with the girl haunted me for months afterwards. I knew I could never ask about what happened or the same would happen to me. I was taught never to question authority.

I kept a sharp eye out for awhile to see if I could discover what the girl was talking about, but this was the only life I’ve known. The only one I could imagine. Nothing seemed wrong to me.  I kept my nose down and followed the rules and did what I was told. I figured the girl must have done something terrible to deserve her fate and the professor was just doing damage control and protecting us all from her. She may have seemed helpless, but who knows what was really happening. Eventually the girl faded from my memories and was forgotten altogether.

I didn’t heed her words that day, but I should have.


Well That's all folks! What do you think? Anything you hate or love about it ? Anything you would change, fix? Let me know!!


  1. Oh this is good Luna.. i am excited for next chapters..

    1. Thanks Kazelle! I'm really excited about writing the next few chapters! I've got big ideas

  2. Like I Say, "good bloggers or is it great as already writers waiting to happen, even though they might not be aware of it yet"
    Nice one

  3. Nice start Luna. With some minor editing for grammar and fewer 'ing' words to tighten it up, it'll be great. Just personal preference, but I have a hard time with one sentence paragraphs. It sometimes makes the story read choppy. See if you can combine some of those one liners into a larger, flowing paragraph. JMO

    1. Thanks for reading and responding Roland! I will have to watch out for those one sentence paragraphs. It's the blogger in me coming out!