Wednesday, April 30, 2014

The Tale of Twenty Photos

Yesterday, I was going through a bunch of old pictures on my phone and it brought back some good memories and nostalgia, so I thought I would share some of my pictures and stories with you!! 

1. For my 24th birthday Mona and I took a last minute trip to Maine (this was before I started blogging otherwise I would have told you about it). This is Mona with the Portland Head Light Lighthouse in the background. 

2. This is an old army base in Maine, they had it all locked up, but it was cool to walk around and look at all the in the old buildings. Obviously, someone broke into this one and redecorated. 

3. Same army base. This is Mona sitting in one of the old gun holders? Is that what you would call them? There is a big hole with stairs and they used to put big guns in the hole, so "gun holder" makes sense? It's a cool picture...we'll just leave it at that. 

4.Mona and I were a little concerned when we came upon this Culver's, I think it was in the Green Bay or Appleton area? We wanted to know why were we in danger? Turns out it was only a water main break, another restaurant that was still open and using bottled water let us know.

5. Mona and I took some time to do a fancy lake snow art. What that means is we went on the ice, that was frozen and covered with snow, and made art! Here is a house! Mona is trying to get in the door. I think she wants to join the fishes! (That may have sounded like a death threat...I just want to clarify that it is not)

6.  This is how I watch ALL sporting events on television. Reading a book. I'm a HUGE sports fan...not. 

7. This is Mona in fear for her life. We were walking out a long pier in Sheboygan, WI off of Lake Michigan to get to a lighthouse at the end. It was rather windy and the waves were pretty high. She was so afraid of the crashing waves knocking her off the pier that she hit the deck and held on for dear life. She survived.

8. My Cousin with a View-Master. Need I say more? 

9. This is the gear shaft for a revolving jail! My family was on our way to or from Nashville and I saw this museum in the hotel guide. I told them I refused to leave until we went. Mom wasn't enthralled with the idea, but I refused to budge. And it was awesome! They put prisoners in this big room with a round cage separated into different cells that had only one door in or out that opened to only one cell at a time. The jailers would turn the crank to open it to the prisoner they were looking for. They used this concept for added security. Unfortunately, revolving jails are no longer in use because they were deemed a fire hazard and because too many prisoners were losing limbs and heads when the jail would rotate and they had body parts sticking out of the bars. I love weird Museums. I've been trying to talk Mona into going to an old psyche hospital Museum in Indiana, that is supposedly haunted, but for some reason she keeps saying no. 

10. Creepy little children statues I found in my grandmother's basement that reminded me of the Weeping Angles from Doctor Who. Let's say I walked out of there backwards without blinking.  

11. PIRANHA! Mona is terrified of fish. Like crazy terrified. I have a goldfish and she can hardly walk past his tank. So naturally I made her go to an Aquarium. I don't remember for sure where it was, it was either Ohio or Indianapolis or St. Louis...? She was doing okay until we hit the piranha tanks. She hated the piranha tanks. After seeing them sit still in the dark tank ready, not moving, ready to attach at any moment, one of the creepiest things she had ever seen.  She said, and I quote per her request,
"Every fish has a little Piranha in them."  
Yes, Mona, my goldfish could rip the flesh off you at any moment. 

12. Last year when I went to leave our apartment one morning I found a snowman left on our front porch (see picture on left). This was right after the Doctor Who Snowman Christmas Special, so obviously thought it was the Great Intelligence at work!  I went around telling everyone it was a Doctor Who Snowman (see right) that it was after me! Nobody seemed to believe me. 

13. The is from the time my friend Kate asked Becky and I to go with her on a date. She had met the guy on an online dating site, but she was worried about getting kidnapped and murdered, so she wanted us to tag along and call the police if anything fishy happened. Becky and I jumped at the opportunity! Mona pouted, because she had to work. 
The date was at a woodworking convention in Milwaukee. BEST DATE EVER!! At least for Becky and I, Kate didn't like it so much...I mean just look at the distance between the two of them!
After a while Kate made a dash to the bathroom, we followed see if she needed us to come to her rescue. She was ready for the date to be done. Little did we know that Becky's sister, who showed up moments before to join the fun, was talking to the poor guy. He was telling her that on his last online date the girl went to the bathroom and just never came back. She offered to go check on his date for him she felt so bad for him. We didn't let Kate just ditch him through the bathroom window, we made her man up and go tell him it wasn't going anywhere. Then we went out for margaritas. 

14. A lovely poem I wrote with magnets we got from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I'm not quite sure where "cowbell" fits in, so just use your imagination. 

15. My baby, Minnow, sitting at the table drinking coffee. She takes after me with her love of coffee! It's hard to get a good picture of what she really looks like...from here you would think she is a black lab, but this is not the case. She may have the body of a black lab, but she has the legs of a basset hound. She basically looks a giant winner dog. Some people call her weird looking and then I never talk to them again. 

16. This is what it looks like when you drive on highways surrounded by cornfields in the middle of a Wisconsin winter. Not cool Wisconsin. Dad wanted me to send this picture to Mom as we were driving, but I told him I wasn't crazy! I will show her when the snow is gone. Well, the snow is gone so here you go Mom! Good news...we survived without incident or else you would have heard by now. 

17. This cool looking spider Mona found hidden in her clothes in the basement. Mona didn't like it so much at the time...well actually she still doesn't like it, she almost threw up when I just showed her this picture. Way to hold a grudge. 

18. Awesome homemade French waffles! Mom has this group going where a bunch of people make French recipes and share pictures on Facebook every month. I told her I wouldn't do it, because who wants to cook that often? But a bunch of my friends got together to do it together, so it was okay. And, like I said, they were awesome.  

19. My green thumb at work. Sadly the winter was not kind to my poor plants...nor was the summer. I think it was just because Mona kicked them over..look at that dirt on the ground! That was from the pots!
 Still, I just don't seem to have a way with plants. I've even managed to kill a cactus before, so I don't know why I think I can grow a more delicate plant. I try the set it and forget it method when it comes to doesn't always (or never) work. But every year I keep trying...
Is plant homicide illegal? 

20. One day last summer, Mona and I decided that we were going to become birdwatchers. We downloaded a bird app, dressed in our outdoors like gear, went and bought binoculars, and stopped at Starbucks (you can't go bird watching without coffee). This picture was the result of our excursion. Do you know how hard it is to be a birdwatcher?!? Trying to look through those tiny binocular holes while locating the bird you just saw with your real eyes is VERY difficult. Plus it's hard to hold coffee and look through binoculars at the same time. Once Mona was done with her coffee she put the Starbucks cup on the end of the walking stick she picked you can see from the picture. We were out watching for hours. We had a blast and basically become bird watching experts and then we never went bird watching again. 

Good times.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014


Mona: (droning on about something I don't remember)

Me: (doing my work and nodding to make Mona thinks I'm listening)


Mona: Acknowledge!

Me: What?! I was nodding my head!

Mona: Yeah, like this...(Mona stares straight ahead holding her neck stiff without moving)

Me: you're saying I wasn't nodding my head?

Mona: No.

Me: Are you sure?

Mona: Yes.

Me: my head I was nodding!

Mona: (rolls her eyes at me)

This "Acknowledge" shouting is a new thing Mona's doing. For some odd reason she doesn't like it when I listen to her without giving her some sort of affirmation that I am in fact listening. It's usually when she asks, what I think are, rhetorical questions. Like "Where do you want to eat?" or "What do you think about that?"

So, when she asks these rhetorical questions and I don't answer right away she shouts out "ACKNOWLEDGE!" to get me to respond.

I've been trying to acknowledge more without her prompting, but apparently that isn't working so well.

Monday, April 28, 2014

A Tiny Man With A Small Knife

This weekend I sat eating my lunch in peace, watching Battlestar Galactica, when all of a sudden I hear this rustling to my right. I ignore it thinking it is the open window blowing a brown bag sitting on the floor.

But the rustling continues. The noise is starting to get distracting and annoying, so I reach down and move the bag out of the way of the window.

A moment later the rustling continues. In the same spot. 

I pause for a moment, thinking to myself, "Am I going crazy? Have I finally lost it for real? Or is could it be a tiny man (I'm thinking Borrowers small)  with a small knife rooting through all of the junk Mona has on the floor to rob us and, if he knows I know he's here, possibly murder me as well?" 

I slowly move my head, as not to alert the tiny man of my presence, and look down at the source of the noise.

I did not see a tiny man, but I did see an open popcorn bag, that I'd left there the night before (Yes, sometimes I leave open popcorn bags on the floor. I'm lazy and forgetful...don't judge me). The bag was moving, but there was no wind.

I held my breath as I peered into the open bag...


First, I let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't a tiny man trying to murder me. 

Then I took this picture. Because that's what you are suppose to do when you find something disgusting or if someone falls or if a baby's crying. At least that's what I've learned from social media. Plus, if you don't have proof, it never happened. 

After my evidence was gathered I stared at Pop, short for Popcorn of course, and tried to figure out how I was going to grab the bag and close it without him jumping out onto my hand and to bite me and giving me death and disease for interrupting his lunch, because that's what I would do if someone interrupted my lunch. At least, if I died from a mouse bite, my picture would point my family and the police to my killer. 

I am happy to say that I figured out a way to avoid getting bit! The answer...let him escape. Yup, as I sat trying to figure out a way to maneuver to grab the bag for so long that he jumped right out and ran away. 

I just watched him go. He ran across the room and under Mona's bed (which if she asks did not happen)
I knew there was no way I would be able to catch a mouse bare handed, so I just went back to eating my food and watching Battlestar Galactica. I was upset that there was a mouse in my house and that he escaped, but I was more upset that he ate my popcorn! 

I sent Mona the picture of Pop and told her to pick up some live mouse traps on her way home, but she brought home death traps! I protested and said I couldn't kill Pop, but she insisted they were the only traps available and I would be using them. 

Until the mouse is caught, Mona is not sleeping in our bedroom...she is sleeping downstairs in a recliner. I don't have the heart to tell her a mouse has feet. Everyday she asks if I caught the mouse and I crinkle up my face and say, "yes?" in a high pitched voice. She must not believe me, because she is still sleeping downstairs. 

Part of me is relieved that Pop hasn't gone into one of the death traps. I hope he escaped outside to live out the rest of his life in peace. 

Friday, April 25, 2014

Meet Doris

I don't think I've talked about Doris before here at Lowercase (because that's what all the cool kids are calling the blog these days...okay so maybe just me? It will catch on). 

Well there is a reason I haven't talked about her before...I HATE DORIS!

And let me tell you the feeling is mutual.

She is mean, doesn't like my jokes, she tries to treat me like a slave and get her food and sweets ALL of the time.

She snaps and growls and whines and is all around unpleasantness.

And she comes to visit once a month.

Doris is Mona's uterus. And she comes to visit at that "time of the month", if you know what I mean? No? She's here when the painter's come to town...they only paint in red? Still nothing? Aunt Flo?

Do I have to spell it out for you? It's her period! 

Doris is in Town

Gosh, was trying to be discreet about it, so as not to embarrass you people. I can't help it you don't understand PMS code.

Anyways, as I was saying, Doris and I don't get along so well. Mona is always apologizing for Doris and claiming she can't control her, but yet she lets us continue on in this way.

When Doris is with Mona the two of them remind me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Kinda like a split personality sorta thing. My Mona is in there somewhere, but she's letting Doris whisper in her ear.

So, for Listed Fridays with Erica Jacquline, I'm going to share with you 5 ways Doris (Or any girl with PMS) reminds me of Gollum.

1. Doris is mean.

2. When I  won't get Doris food she whines. 
3. When whining doesn't work Doris goes crazy.


4. When I tell Doris she's being crazy, she doesn't listen.


5. And last, but not least, Doris loves her precious, except instead of a ring picture her precious being chocolate. Doris always wants chocolate.

What qualities does your inner Doris bring out in you? 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Poodle Exercise

I'm super lazy today, but I didn't want you guys to think I'd forgotten you. So watch this video. It's not creepy. I swear. 

Okay, I lied. It's super creepy. 

Feel free to pay me back. 

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Packer Backers Looking For Love

So, I think I've mentioned before that I'm not sure if I want to get married, therefore crushing all of my mother's hopes and dreams, and I'm also not big on the whole dating thing either. I just like being single.

But the thing is now Dad's against me!

I found this link was posted on my Facebook page:

A Green Bay Packers dating site.

The obvious question here is if this is a site for dating Packer players, in which case I might consider for the money, or just Packer fans?

Upon's just the fans. I don't want to date them, they don't have the money and any money they do have just goes to the Packers.

They are just Packer Backers looking for love.

Too bad I don't meet the qualifications for signing up. I'm not looking for love nor am I a Packer fan.

Monday, April 21, 2014


I found cut marks on my fifteen year old cousin's arm.

Carved into his flesh were the words "Kill Me".

And this was just sent to me:

His parents found this last month. 

I don't even know...

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Happy Easter

Kari: Have a happy Easter dressing up like superheros.

Me: Don't be ridiculous. That's Thanksgiving. We dress up like Easter bunnies for Easter.

Charles: Because that doesn't sound ridiculous.


Friday, April 18, 2014

14 Things To Do At Work When You're Bored And Don't Feel Like Working

Erica Jacquline
Over at Erica Jacquline's Blog she is making lists on Fridays...and I thought I would like to make lists...on Fridays! Lists sound like fun! Then I remembered I don't like lists. I write lists and then throw in a pile only to be found by a search comity years later, with most of the tasks still left undone. They also remind me of work, and I don't like thinking about work on Fridays.

So, to join in the fun without thinking about work and my dislike of lists...I decided to make an anti-work list!

Here are...
when you're bored and don't feel like working!

1. Drink Coffee.

2. Pretend to be doing your work when you are really just staring at the work to be done and to look like you are working. See if anyone notices.

3. Convince a coworker to kick out her loser boyfriend.

4. Have your sister bring you coffee. It's a lovely treat.

5. Sigh as loud as you can because you are tired and bored.

6. Doodle an obscure image and let your coworkers guess what it is.

7. Eat a brownie.

8. Take a nap with your eyes open.

9. Scroll endlessly through all of your social media sites on a loop, looking at the same things over and over again.

10. Drink lots of water so you can get up every five minutes to go to the bathroom. This also counts as your exercise for the day.

11. Shop book store websites and wish to buy all the books, but restrain yourself enough to only buy 10.

12. Spin around in your chair until you get dizzy. Sometimes once is enough.

13. Help coworker write apology letters to your boss for all of the bad things she has done.

14. Cut out creepy pictures of scary Easter Bunnies to tape to your coworkers car windows because she is terrified of them.

I am neither confirming or denying that I did one or all of these things today.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

My Whole Stupid Family Almost Died Last Night

My whole stupid family almost died on my last night.

And they didn't even tell me about it!!!

I'm scrolling through Facebook this morning and I come across a post from Mom:

I've mentioned before that Mona, Becky and I have a BIFFS group chat going on Facebook, while we also have a Famdamly chat going with Me, Mom, Dad, Mona and our honorary family member Becky. So I messed them right away.

Me: What where you guys doing last night?!?

Becky: sucking gas

Mom: Trying to see Jesus

Dad: I had to Dave the family from the grip of death. Somehow the gas stove was left on with no flame.
Save not Dave

Becky: thanks for daving us

Me: I don't think you guys should be left alone on Wednesday nights anymore (Mona, Becky and I go over to Mom and Dad's on Wednesday night and eat food. Mona and Becky spend the night and I go home to sleep in my own bed).

Nothing but deathly trouble every week.

Mom: Oh yeah the fire last week (last Wednesday their neighbor's house caught on Fire)...
Maybe you should stay from now on
Me: Do you all have wills drawn up

Mom: Never had a will. ..

If you guys are going to try dying on me I think you should

Dad: Yes everything goes to my favorite daughter

Me: Yes, me, but if I could get that in writing

Mom: Probably should so you two don't fight over all or millions. . 
But you would've got it all. It was a serious thing. 
Upon reading you usually just don't wake up


Becky, you could also put me in your will if you would like

Becky: want my IPAD and TV? that's about all I have to give lol

Me: And any remaining money in your bank account. You may not have any now, but who knows if you die many years down the road and have money saved and didn't realize you didn't change your will for your husband and kids....I will get all of your money

Becky: And you can cash in my PTO (paid time off…we work together) or use it for vaca

Me: Hum...can you will someone your PTO?

Dad? Do you think you could do that? (Dad works in upper management in for our company)

I bet we can talk to a union rep...

Becky: If its in my will they can't deny it

Me: “My very last and greatest wish is that Luna get all of my PTO.”

Becky: I'll stop taking time off so it will grow and you will never have to worry about a day off in your life

Me: Thank you Becky

Dad: I'm pretty sure Luna’s going first, health u know

After awhile Mona decided to join. She doesn't work until two, so she misses out on most of our early morning chats. 

Mona: This is an interesting chat to catch up on!
Don't sign your Will over to Luna, she will murder you all

Mom: Agreed and we won't even know is happening

Becky: OMG! This is all part of her arch enemy (Yesterday we were watching Sherlock and they were talking about having arch enemies, so Becky and I decided to become each others)

Mom: Thanks Becky we were just collateral damage

Mona: She is the one who left the gas running. Luna, how could you do this to me! do you just want my $1,000ish money in my savings?

You guys have seen our banking

Me: Mona…
Way to ruin my plan.
And maybe I took some life insurance out on you guys as well
I mean don't listen to her!
She lies!

Mona: Luna, I thought you would include me in your plan...not "INCLUDE ME" in your plan!

Me: Mona you were giving me grief yesterday

Mona: I give you grief every day!

Becky: Luna I have nothing to offer you!

Mona: Except sweet sweet victory. It is all about the mind game!

Mom: It's really Becky she's in on it cuzz she got no money
She made up this nemesis story to trick us. . She pretended to be dead when I stared into her face listening for breath

Me: Becky isn't that clever

Mona: lol

Becky: Yes I am!

Mona: Oooo....good comeback

Becky: Thanks lol (I'm not sure if Becky caught the sarcasm in Mona's comment or if she actually took that as a compliment) 

All of our devious arch enemy plans aside, there was one thing bothering me...

Me: What I want to know Becky is why didn't you mention the fact that you all almost died when I talked to you at work this morning

Becky: near deaths happen to me all the time i'm used to it

Me: All my attempt at on your life my nemesis

Mona: you didn't ask if she almost died, that's why she didn't tell you

Becky: lol true you should have said "Becky how are you this morning? any near deaths?"

Me: Okay I'll start asking if there were any near death experiences since we parted last

Next we had to talk about all the symptoms of gas inhalation they were experiencing. 

Becky: I've feeling like i have to puke all day i hope i'm not dying from the gas
 Have you guys been feeling sick??

Mona; I feel kinda pukee

Becky: really?? so do i
its either the gas or the scones or the lack of Happy Endings (the tv show mom forgot to tape for us)

Mona: all of the above
I've pooped like 3 times already

Mom: I have a massive headache...we are ok its just what sometimes happens...should all be better tomorrow
Headache and nausea are the symptoms

Becky: i hope i didn't get brain damage

Mom: Nope just headache nausea or you don’t wake up
So if you two are puky I am headachy its was a miracle we are alive...

Mona: And I am poopie...don't forget about that!

Mom: That's good...leaving system.....let it flow let it flow (like frozen song)

Mona: That could be a PMS song too "Let it flow let it flow"

I wish I could say those last few lines were symptoms of the brain damage, but sadly they are not. 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Greet Me With A Joke

Cranky people are making me cranky today.

I started the day out just fine. Happy as can be for waking up at 6 AM on a Wednesday morning.

But then as the day drug on more and more people just seem to be cranky and complaining and my genuine customer service smile started to fade and become more and more forced until it reached the point were it literally caused me to have a headache.

I was about to give up on the day and humanity in general, when a new patient walks up to my desk.

Patient: You know why they couldn't play cards on the ark?

Me: Why?

Patient: Because Noah was always standing on the deck.

Me: lol

Patient: One more for you. Where is the one place in the world you can never play cards?

Me: I don't know. Where?

Patient: The Ark. Noah's always standing on the deck.

I should have seen that one coming.

This patient really turned my day around and made me laugh.

I wish all patients would great me with a joke. That would be awesome! How could anyone be cranky if jokes and laughs were being shared just moments before you got down to business? Actually, I wish everyone would great me with a joke! It would just make life a little bit better for everyone.

Come on...hit me with your best joke!

{p.s. As this patient was being taken back for his appointment he greeted the therapist with a joke. "What did one rabbit say to the other? I don't know. I don't speak rabbit." lol...this guy is killing me!}

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Google Glass

Okay, I know I posed something already today, but this is major!

I COULD BUY GOOLE GLASS TODAY!!!!! And become an explorer....

Because Mona and I are trying to open a coffee shop we are trying to keep a tight reign on our money spending, but she opened up the door for spending...

Mona: really want to go get my tattoo.

Becky: what are you getting?? when??

Me: if you get a tattoo, can I buy google glass?

Mona: Because it is obviously the same price Luna...
I want to get "it is well" on my forearm under my elbow crease

Me:'s the first and only day they are available for the public.

Becky: how much are they?

Me: $1500

Becky: worth it

Mona: Give me 5 reasons as to why that would be a good idea for our future business

Becky: you could be looking at recipes while you make coffee

1. we can work more efficiently, hands free while we work

2. we will show to be ahead of the times, therefore people will trust our business sense.

3. we will look cool, therefore people will like us and come to our business.

4. it will be a good conversation starter "hey you have google glass!!?" "Yes, I bought them to help with my coffee shop, come join me"

5. I would be one of the fist public people to have google glass and can train to start giving lessons when they are officially released to the public and make us money to open the coffee shop

Becky: all valid reasons

Me: thank you Becky.

Mona: Okay

Me: Really?!!? Because their tag line is "become an explorer" Mona I want to become an explorer.

Mona: If you think it will be beneficial. (I imagine this said with a snotty, know it all, manipulative, disapproving voice)

Me: I feel like you are saying "okay, if you think it will be beneficial", but I feel like you don't really believe it will be beneficial.

Becky: I don't think she thinks you are going to get it lol

Me: challenge accepted!

Infection and Swelling of the Gallbladder and Nonalcoholic Steatophepatitis

That's not a mouth full.

So, I've been going on and on and on about all my pain and suffering. I am happy to let you know that the sharp stabbing knife like pain and nausea died down to a dull bruised like feeling and over the last few days has disappeared altogether.

I went to talk to my doctor this morning and, as the title of this post suggests, I was diagnosed with infection and swelling of the gallbladder and nonalcoholic steatophepatitis.

What that means, if I understood him correctly, is that the pain and nausea was caused by my gallbladder. No gallstones. It was just infected and swollen. If the pain returns I will have to go back for more testing for a full out gallbladder dysfunction.

While doing the blood work and ultrasound they also found that I have nonalcoholic steatophepatitis, inflammation of the liver.

They have to specify nonalcoholic because I have the same signs and symptoms of a binge drinking without the binge drinking. In fact I hardly drink at all. Mona says I get a hangover headache as soon as I start drinking. And I can never have more than one, because by the time everyone is ready to leave I'm still working on my first drink. I call it classy sipping.

Anyways, eating healthier foods and exercising will help prevent this from getting worse and killing my liver in the next 30 to 40 years. From the handout I was given they aren't really sure what causes it, but it could be a lot of different things.

So, what I have to do is:

1. Quit eating out so much

2. Eat more green things

3. Drink more water

4. Drink more coffee (thank goodness this is on the list of good things for your liver and gallbladder or I would be dead)

5. Exercise more (right now anything is more)

6. Start taking Vitamin E (per the doctor)

7. Go back to the doctor if my pain returns for more gallbladder testing

8. Give up my binge drinking ways. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

Let's Talk About Something Else

It's April, almost Easter, and it's still snowing!!! I woke up to snow this morning! I just wanted to go back into bed and curl up and hibernate until this endless winter is gone.

Let's talk about something, anything else.

Sometimes patients come up and say very weird things to me.

The weirdest thing is he never told me what "IT" was that happened. I image that he was using the outhouse when I band of robbers came looking for his pocket change. They were trying to seal his pants through the slit at the bottom of the door while the man was yelling and putting up a fight when an animal came charging out of the woods. At the site of the animal coming straight towards them at full speed the robbers ran off screaming. The poor man in the outhouse was left to imagine the worst as he was stuck with his pants down and caught under the door. As the animal started wrenching at his pants, the man nearly jumped out of his skin. He slammed back against the wall behind him knocking the outhouse over and breaking his arm and several ribs in the process. The boards of the outhouse were old and rotting and were unable to support the man's full body weight. He crashed through the wall and landed in the overflowing contents of the latrine. When the man finally regained his bearings enough to pull himself carefully out of the hole he was in, he popped his head slowly about the rim and looked around for the animal that had nearly mauled him to death. It took him a moment to locate an old dog chewing on the beef jerky that had been in his back pocket. The dog sat with his head slightly tilted to the side starring and wondering about the curious man in the box. 

But that's just my imagination getting away from me. 

This was also a weird thing: 
Mona found this "Girl's Hair Drippings" at an antique store. If that's not creepy I don't know what is. Who sell's a random girls hair drippings? If it was Justin Bieber's hair drippings I could see buying that, but this is just creepy beyond all means. 

I liked this picture better...

I want bookshelves like this. I think I almost have enough books to fill them. Mona said we can have them at our coffee shop. The thought makes me happy.  

And yes, I am showing you pictures of what Mona did this weekend, because I spent the whole weekend doing all of our laundry and organizing the laundry room. And I don't think you want to see pictures of my laundry. That's just boring and depressing. We've lived in this apartment for almost two years and I don't think we have had all of our laundry done since then (okay so maybe we brought some dirty laundry with us as well). We are both the type of people who do the absolute least amount of laundry possible to get by. It leaves a lot of buildup of clothes that don't get washed. I also found out this weekend that, between the two of us, we have way too many clothes. Let's just say I never want to do wash again. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

How to Break an Egg

How fast can you crack an egg? 

Apparently, on Sunday, Mona got into it with some of our friends claiming that she could crack an egg the fastest. She did go to one semester of culinary school and worked in a hospital kitchen. Cracking eggs was her specialty.

Neil, who is almost done with culinary school and has worked in several different restaurants and catering places begged to differ. Claiming that he, in fact, was the fastest egg cracker in town. 

Among them were a few amateurs who threw their hats in the ring as well, claiming they could take a crack at their claims.

Several different techniques were discussed. The one handed, two handed, double eggs, crack on the bowl, or crack on a flat surface and such. The argument was heated. Words were said. Names were called. Friendships near lost. (note: I was not present at said argument, this is all hearsay and exaggeration). 

Yesterday it was time for them to put their skills to the test. 

We were all over at my parent's house when Mona came walking in with three cartons of eggs. She wanted to get more, but the gas station she stopped at had a sign restricting the number of egg cartons bought per customer. Apparently they don't like when you come in and try to buy six dozen eggs. 

The Speed Egg Cracking Contest was on!!

Mom got us some bowls and we divided the eggs up. There were enough for seven eggs apiece. 

The rules were simple: Crack the eggs as fast as you can without getting shells. First one done wins. 

Mona, Neil, Neil's twin brother, Ben, John, and I lined up around the table. Standing with our hands behind our backs we waited for Mom to count us down. 


We were off! The sound of cracking eggs filled the air. The clicking of hard shells on bowls sounded like music to our ears. 

I didn't have time to pay much attention to everyone else as I was solely focused on breaking my eggs as fast as I could. I used the one egg, two hand approach. I would grab the fresh egg with my right hand, hit it hard on the bowl once and pull the shell apart with both of my hands. My left hand would discard the broken shell as my right hand reached for another egg. 

Guys...I don't cook a lot. I never claimed to be the fastest egg cracker around, but when I threw up my hands and yelled "DONE!" I looked around and saw everyone still cracking away! I had won! I beat them and the eggs!

Never have I been more proud of myself. What an life accomplishment. My new claim to fame. 
Egg Cracker Extraordinaire! 

John came in a close second, then Ben, and the two "cooks" of the group, who had bragged the most, Neil and Mona, came in last. Mona was dead last (Unless you count the one little egg shell that disqualified John).

What's your best egg cracking technique? And do you think you could win a speed egg cracking contest? 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


Have you every been starving to death, but the sound of food makes you want to puke? 

Have you ever gone days without drinking water, but the moment someone tells you that "you have to go eight hours without it" you're dying of thirst? 

This is how I feel right now. 

Along with side pain.

OH! And a coffee withdrawal headache!
(that's almost worse than the side pain)

#GallbladderProblems #WaitingForAnUltrasound

Here. Look at a picture of my shoes to distract you from my hunger, thirst, pain, and whining. 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Gallbladder Problems

So....I went to the doctor yesterday.

I hate going to the doctor, as I established yesterday, but peer pressure forced me into it. I normally don't like to give into peer pressure, but in this case I knew they were right and I was eventually going to do it on my own anyways.

After the doctor asked me a few too many personal questions and felt me up, he thinks somethings wrong with my gallbladder. He ran some blood tests and some of my levels were slightly elevated, but nothing conclusive, so he's sending me for an ultra sound tomorrow.

He doesn't think it's anything emergent that needs surgery ASAP, so I'm just suppose to drink water and eat things that won't make me throw up.

I kept down some mashed potatoes yesterday! I think I'm improving!

Oh, well, so I gotta hang on til tomorrow. Come what may. ♪♫ Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya Tomorrow! You're always a day a way! ♫♪ Oh. Sorry...please excuse my breaking out into a Annie singalong moment.

So, yeah, I just have to wait and see what my results are after tomorrow's ultra sound.

I just want the pain to be gone and be able to eat a meal without throwing up. I'm not asking for a lot.

Monday, April 7, 2014

The Doctor

I hate the doctor, not the Doctor, as in Doctor Who, I love that Doctor, I wish I was talking about that Doctor, but I'm talking about a medical doctor. I hate going.

But I think I might have to break down and go see a doctor today.

I've been throwing up on and off since Wednesday and I have had a sharp stabbing pain in my right side since Friday night.

I haven't thrown up since Saturday night, but the side pain is still there.

I laid in bed all weekend, but when I got up this morning to get ready for work I was pouring sweat until  about an hour after I sat down at my desk and I still feel warm.

I have this weird thing about going to the doctor...the moment I decide I should go to the doctor all my pain seems to disappear. Like it's all in my head and I'm crazy for even thinking about going to the doctor. Until a little while later it comes back with a vengeance. And then I think about going to the doctor again and it goes away again. I think I might be crazy....maybe I should go to the doctor for that...? Naw, I'm not crazy.

I'm gonna probably give it until the end of the day and if it doesn't magical stay gone, just by thinking about the doctor, I'm gonna go.

{UPDATE: I called my doctor, who is one floor above where I work, and got in for 2:45 today}

{Update: I get up here and my pain dissappears...i feel like a fraud}

{Update: he thinks it may be gallbladder related. Getting some blood tests}

{Update: good thing I'm not afraid of needles or blood}

{Update: waiting for the results}

Friday, April 4, 2014

A Day In Luna's Life

Okay, so this is kinda a long post. I was reading Life Changes’s post, called A Day In My Life, yesterday and thought it would be fun to write about a day in my life! (crazy weird jump...I know).

A Day In Luna’s Life

Waking Up
My alarm clock, that is five minutes fast and constantly giving me trouble, blares at 6:00 A.M. every morning. I shut it off, open my eyes, giving it the evil eye. I turn the other way and also shut off the fan on my headboard book stand thingy (you know what I’m talking about), and roll out from my bed and tangle of pillows and blankets.

I trudge through the junk scattered on the bedroom floor in the dark, my room darkening drapes not letting an ounce of light in. I try to keep quiet as Mona is sleeping in the same room.

Zombie-like I grab my shower stuff and head to the bathroom, most of the time I forget how to shower and stand looking at the shampoo for awhile before I remember what I’m suppose to do with it.

After showering I put my pajamas back on (because ten-to-one I forget to grab my robe in the left in the bedroom) and go back into the bedroom, flip on the light, look over at Mona to make sure I didn’t wake her up, grab what I need and shut the door as I tiptoe out. Down the first flight of stairs, I drop my phone off on the bar in the kitchen to make my trek down another flight of stairs to the basement.

I grab something that resembles an appropriate work outfit from among the piles of unfolded, and somehow clean clothing (because I hate to do laundry) and put it on. Every time I think, tonight I will organize this laundry room, so my roommates don’t grow to hate me because of it,  and every night I don’t do it. It’s a vicious cycle.

Once I’m back up to our main level I head into the bathroom. I put my makeup on in 5 minutes with my eyes basically closed. Then I say to myself that I’m styling my hair by turning on the blow dryer just to the point it stops dripping and doing nothing else. If it looks too terrible I throw it up in a sloppy, partially wet ponytail and call it a day.

If I’m done exceptionally early I plop down in the recliner in the living room and scroll through social media.  

I have an alarm set for when I need to absolutely leave the house or I will be late. As soon as that goes off, I put on my shoes. The same pair of shoes everyday. My red Chucks. Once slipping those on, I put on my winter coat, yes they may be calling it “spring” here in Wisconsin, but it doesn’t look or feel anything like spring.

I grab my purse, keys, name-tag, which are usually left my the front door, and make sure I have my phone before I head out the door.

Once I walk outside and before I shut and lock the door I double check to make sure I have my purse, keys, name-tag, and phone. I can be absentminded and forget any or all of these things at any given point. I have probably spent more time looking for my lost phone than actually using it.

As I walk out to the parking lot of my apartment building I see that once again my neighbor is parked in my extra parking stall. I know we don’t always use it, but it still irks me that they think they have a right to park in my empty spot. I glare at my the car the entire time that I’m getting in mine. I think about the nasty letter I will write and put on their windshield. I have yet to write note.

I drive to work in silence. I don’t know if I’m still partly asleep or lost in my thoughts, but I don’t even realize I didn't turn on the radio until it’s too late to even bother.

I park in the farthest spot from the building, the same spot every time, so I don’t forget where I parked. And sit for a minute just looking at the building thinking “do I really have to go in?”, the answer is always and unfortunately “yes”.

I walk across the parking lot and into the building. I get to my desk, clock in, unlock doors and drawers, and log into my computer and see what I've got going on for today. If you don’t know, I work for a large medical facility. I’m the receptionist for Physical and Occupational Therapy, Orthotics, and Prosthetics Departments (and yes I have to say all that every time I answer the phone).

I get into work at 7:00 am.  It’s my favorite time to be at work. Most people don’t start until eight, including my partner, so it feels like I have the place to myself.  I love the feeling of a big empty building. The silence and darkness of a normally bustling place. It’s got an eerie quiet quality about it that I find comforting.

I get all of my busy work done and wait for the building to come to life. My partner usually clocks in just before 8:00 nearly giving me a heart attack because she is so close to being fired for being late, I yell at her every time.

The Urgent Care reception desk is right next to ours. I love the receptionist dearly, but she also can’t make it to work on time to save her life.  She works by herself, so when she’s late, I have to take over the responsibilities of her work on top of my own.  I set my jaw and forward her phones to my desk and take care of all of her patients. Lately she has been almost an hour late everyday. She has FMLA (a law that says you can’t be fired because of medical problems) for headaches, asthma, and depression that she uses and abuses. I have asthma too, but I still manage to make it to work on time and I’m here running around doing her job on top of it. You should see me trying to catch my breath as I run back and forth. I get that every now and then you need to come in late, but this is EVERY DAY!! (I’m not sore about it at all)

Whenever she decides to show things calm down and my partner and I get our work into a normal routine. This consists of actually working, browsing the internet when we are slow, me goofing off with Kari (one of the therapists) when she is slow (Don’t tell anyone, but Kari is my favorite), trying not to get people mad enough to threaten my life, and fending off people trying to get me to go out with Charles. It’s rough work.

Around noon I take my lunch. I bundle up and walk to the diner across the street. I get a booth and take my book. Right now I’m reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. The girls at the diner know me and bring me my diet coke right away. I sit and eat and read. Sometimes I even let the girls talk me into getting a piece of pie.

After an hour, I tear myself away from my book and walk back to work.

Only three hours left.  

I count down until 4:00.

After Work
Depending on the day and how I’m feeling I can do different things.

My set days are Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Tuesdays, I normally go and see a movie with my dad. There’s a special where you get your movie, large popcorn, and a soda for $10 and we take turns buying. Afterwards we stand in the lobby or outside (depending on the weather) and talk for awhile about the movie and life.

And Wednesdays, Mona, Becky, and I go over to my parents house for dinner. Mom always cooks and we eat. We talk and watch cable TV shows that we don’t get. Mona and Becky normally spend the night, but I go home to sleep in my own bed. I hate trying to get ready for work in the morning at someone else’s house and I don’t want to wake up any earlier than I have to to drive home and get ready.

Days that are not Tuesdays or Wednesdays differ depending on a lot of different things.

On the nights Mona isn't working we normally eat dinner together and find something to do, like going to a coffee shop or writing music.

On the nights Mona is working, I act like an old lady. I pick up fast food on my way home from work at 4:00 because I don’t like to cook and I don’t want to have to go back out later and get something. Then I plant myself in the recliner and binge watch Netflix. Sometime Becky joins me, right now we are watching Dexter together and love it (we are only on season 4, so no spoilers please).

When Becky’s there we try and get in as many episodes of Dexter that we can until Mona gets home. We started the first episode without without Mona and she got mad and refused to catch up and watch it with us. She still gets mad when she catches us watching, so we try to have it shut off by the time she walks in the door. Becky and I  always look guilty so she knows.

When Becky doesn't come over I try and stay up until Mona gets home, so we can talk or write music or watch a TV show together, but I don’t always make it. 10 o’clock is just too late some nights.

The way I get ready for bed is to throw on my pajamas, think about washing my face, and don’t. because I’m too lazy. And crash into my bed. I bury myself in with lots of blankets and pillows. I turn on my fan and set my alarm to be ready to get up and do it all over again…

After writing this, I see myself as a very lazy person who watches way too much TV. In my defense I do do other things sometimes! Just not all the time.

What does a normal day look like for you?