Monday, January 20, 2014

Punching Bag

Let me take you back. Way back to Thanksgiving. Remember how I didn't sleep the night before, because I was up baking and making my superhero costume? Well I was. And I was tired. After all the Thanksgiving festivities were finished I was ready for a good night's sleep. I had to be to work by seven in the morning of Friday, so there was no black Friday shopping for me (not that there would have been otherwise).

I lay my head down for a peaceful nights sleep only to be brutally awoke somewhere between the hours of 12-4 in the morning. I wasn't fully conscious, so I'm not sure exactly what time it was.

Mona: You want to go back Friday shopping with me?

Me: What the hell? NO. Get your ugly face away from me. (I get a little upset when woken up) 

Mona: But Dunham's has punching bags on sale

Me: Who cares? Go away.

Mona: But you know I wanted a punching bag for Christmas.

Me: So go and get it and leave me alone. 

Mona: Don't you want to come w...

Me: NO! 

Mona: The thing is...I don't have the money for it. 

Me: Just take my stupid credit card and let me sleep. 

Mona went out, bought it and brought it home. She wreaked havoc trying to get it in the apartment and even broke one of my laundry baskets trying to hang it.

Mona uses it all the time, I don't bother with the thing, even though I bought it.

This weekend, Mona was showing the bag off to Becky and her sister Abs. After they left Mona asked if I would try it, just once, to see if I liked it.

I, based on my principles of saying no to Mona all the time, said no right away.

Then she started to beg.

Mona: Come on, Luna. Why don't you want to try it.

Me: It's dumb.

Mona:  Please for me? Won't you try it for me? 

Me: The more you beg, the less I want to do it. 

Mona: (with a sad dejected look) okay.

Me: The sad puppy dog eyes are just making it worse. 

Mona went downstairs to punch her sad feelings out without me. 

Upon thinking about it, I did make a resolution to say "yes" more, so downstairs I went.

Me: Fine. I'll try it. Only because of my New Years's resolution, not because of your begging.

I held out my hands for her to put the gloves on. 

Mona: You are going to love this! 

Me: Sure sure. I doubt it. 

Mona: (with my gloved hands in her hands) This is the fight of your life. All things have been leading up to this moment. You can save all the books in the world...

Me: Are you really giving me an inspirational speech for this?

Mona: Shush. Let it happen. You can save all the books in the world. This is your moment. Go and get them. 

Me: Are we done now? 

Mona: Okay. Stand in front of the bag. Turn you body. Now punch.

I punched the bag.

Mona: Are you sure you haven't done this before? You seem to know some combos.

Me: I watch a lot of TV. 

I punched again. Not really trying that hard. 

Mona: How did you hit it so hard? I don't think you're doing it right. The bag isn't suppose to move that far when you hit it. Stand back.

I step back and Mona stands behind the bag to steady it. 

Mona: Punch it again.

I punch and Mona goes flying back against the wall, almost breaking another one of my laundry baskets. 

Mona: It's gotta be a fluke. You don't work out. It hardly moves when I punch it. Punch it again.

Me: Just admit I'm stronger than you.

I punch it again and Mona goes flying against the wall again.

Mona: Okay, so maybe you shouldn't be doing this. This is bringing up all my bad childhood memories of you being better at everything than me. 

 I can't help it if I'm stronger than Mona who has been punching that bag since November. It must have been her inspirational speech or the muscles I've built from holding up 600 page hardcover books for hours upon hours at a time.

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