Friday, April 25, 2014

Meet Doris

I don't think I've talked about Doris before here at Lowercase (because that's what all the cool kids are calling the blog these days...okay so maybe just me? It will catch on). 

Well there is a reason I haven't talked about her before...I HATE DORIS!

And let me tell you the feeling is mutual.

She is mean, doesn't like my jokes, she tries to treat me like a slave and get her food and sweets ALL of the time.

She snaps and growls and whines and is all around unpleasantness.

And she comes to visit once a month.

Doris is Mona's uterus. And she comes to visit at that "time of the month", if you know what I mean? No? She's here when the painter's come to town...they only paint in red? Still nothing? Aunt Flo?

Do I have to spell it out for you? It's her period! 

Doris is in Town

Gosh, was trying to be discreet about it, so as not to embarrass you people. I can't help it you don't understand PMS code.

Anyways, as I was saying, Doris and I don't get along so well. Mona is always apologizing for Doris and claiming she can't control her, but yet she lets us continue on in this way.

When Doris is with Mona the two of them remind me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Kinda like a split personality sorta thing. My Mona is in there somewhere, but she's letting Doris whisper in her ear.

So, for Listed Fridays with Erica Jacquline, I'm going to share with you 5 ways Doris (Or any girl with PMS) reminds me of Gollum.

1. Doris is mean.

2. When I  won't get Doris food she whines. 
3. When whining doesn't work Doris goes crazy.


4. When I tell Doris she's being crazy, she doesn't listen.


5. And last, but not least, Doris loves her precious, except instead of a ring picture her precious being chocolate. Doris always wants chocolate.

What qualities does your inner Doris bring out in you? 


  1. HAHAHAHA. I'm a huge fan of complaining about Aunt Flo on social media. These Gollum gifts are basically perfection.

  2. This is hilarious and absolutely spot on!

  3. I ended up having to medicate my Doris..she was just too mean to everyone.

  4. Social media is the best way of complaining about Aunt Flo...that way everyone can share your

  5. Do you use birth control? That's what I've heard is best, but unfortunately poisoning Doris with birth control could kill Mona...she's has a history of blood clots and birth control and blood clots are a no no.

  6. This is funny! I hate doris and her ways. All she ever wants is chocolate.