Wednesday, October 9, 2013

You Said What?

Weird Things That Have Been Said To Me This Past Week

"When someone breaks your heart you should punch them in the face. I've done it a few times." -strange man at work

"I'll give you a free coffee if you get me a candle. The people who were just here smelled."-Coffee Boss

"Tell her next time her coffee is $50!"-Coffee Boss said this to Mona after I said it was the boss who smelled.
"She moved the cat picture again?"-Coffee Boss

"I can't come into work today. My cats have flees and I'm freaking out!"-Coworker

"I've been catfished. He kept telling me his mother was different ethnicities"-Friend

"I fell down the stairs after I worked out because my legs were like jelly. I also fell down them this morning before I worked out." -Mona

"Working out on your period is weird, so I don't do it."-Mona

"We are going to take a class this week and are going to give you all the papers after so you can tell us what to do."- Bosses at my performance review

"I was a weird child. I liked to live in the closet and wanted a wheelchair for my birthday."-Anonymous

"There's a nice park across the street. Mona could just find a nice bench and sleep there. We could play where's Mona!"-Coworker
"GO AHEAD AND EAT MY FN ICE CREAM!"-Mona after she told me she was having a horrible day and I asked if it was a bad time to tell her I ate all her ice cream. (just to clarify I did not really eat the ice cream)

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