Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Our Road Trip Problems

We made it home safe and sound!

It was a great vacation, one that made me want to quit my job and vacation all the time, but alas I went back to work today.

Our road trips are never without problems. Our awkward, weird, and funny problems.

Navigation Problems
First off, on our road trips Mona is the driver. I don't like driving. I prefer people to chauffeur me around. It's a thing that all of my friends have accepted. But anyways on our trips, since I'm not driving, that leaves me as the navigator. It works out great for both of us, only the thing is, for the life of me I can't get my lefts and rights straight. I know which way we are suppose to turn, I can even point in the right direction, but when it comes to using the words "left" or "right" I can't do it. I get it backwards ALL of the times. I think Mona finds it endearing in the middle of busy traffic as she's turning around for the 100th time. She might of mentioned something about letting the automated voice tell her which way to go, but I wouldn't be nearly as fun.

Observation Problems
Also, Mona loves when she tries to point out something weird or funny or pretty along the road and I it could be HUGE and right in front of us, but I don't see it.

Mona: Look at that!

Me: What? Where?

Mona: There the big white thing!

Me: uh.....where?

Mona: Forget it. We already passed it.

This is almost always how our road trip conversations go. She says I need to pay better attention to my surroundings.

Thief Problems 
I think we stole a picture and signature from Nester Carbonell!
Stolen Picture Of Nester Carbonell

There we were, newbies to the Con, no instruction manual in sight.We knew the celebrities with the outrageously log lines and guards with the orange shirts were off limits to us non VIPs, but when we saw Nester without a line and no orange shirt in sight, we thought he was fair game. Mona and I walked up and asked for his picture and signature, which neither him nor the little man sitting next to him said anything out of the ordinary.

As we went on and moved on to the next celebrity, we were informed that we could not get a picture or signature without paying for it.

We were both slightly confused as to why Nester did not mention this? I think Mona confused him by asking for the picture first, instead of the signature like most normal people, and he got confused. I guess he was just too nice to stop us and the little man sitting next to him was not a body guard, the everyone else had, but a charity worker for Cancer Gets LOST. So we basically stole from a cancer charity. Aren't we great people! We didn't know I swear!

Theater Problems
We couldn't find a huge IMax & 18 screen theater inside of a mall. After walking through the whole mall we had to stop and ask for directions.

Hotel Problems
After our Demi concert we went to check into our hotel. I had made reservations weeks ago. I go to check in and the lady at the desk says: "I may or may not have a room for you. I have to wait until my coworker, who was suppose to be here an hour ago, gets in to know for sure." 

Me: Wait, what? I have a reservation.

Hotel Lady: If we don't have a room, we will pay for you to stay at the hotel across the street, but you have to wait until my cower gets here.

Me: If she's an hour late already, how long are you expecting me to wait?

Hotel Lady: She is just around the corner.

Finally at 12:30 in the morning, thirty minutes after she told me she was around the corner, she tells me that they do NOT have any rooms available and were shipping me off to the other hotel.

Me: So, you said you were paying for my room. Are you taking the charges off my credit card for pre-paying?

Hotel Lady: Um. No.

Me: What?

Hotel Lady: (in the snottiest voice I have ever heard) We are still giving you a room. (Like she was doing me a favor)

Me: You are telling me, that you made me wait around for over thirty minutes, and it's now almost one in the morning and you are not even going to take off anything for my inconvenience?

Hotel Lady: You are already paying a low rate, but I suppose I could take off a three dollars.

Me: Fine. Just do it. (I knew I wasn't getting anywhere with her and there was obviously no manager on site. I will be calling to complain today) 

Normally, I'm not a complainer, but there was no explanation, or kindness, or apology for making me wait that long and then shipping me off in the middle of the night in Chicago, no thank you.

Gma at Two and Gorgeous
Gma Problems 
When we spent the night at Gma's we were playing cards and talking when all of a sudden Gma says: Did you see me when I was two years old? I was gorgeous! 

We all laughed it off and continued playing cards (cards is always a thing we do at Gma's). About 20 minutes later Gma comes out from the bedroom with a big old photo album and plops it on the table disrupting our card game. She flips open the first page and points to her two year old self. "See I was gorgeous!" We all laughed, said we didn't know what happened to her, and looked at old photos for awhile laughing at my aunt during her awkward middle school years.

Coffee & Blue Hawaiian Punch
Hawaiian Punch & Coffee Problems 
The next thing to disrupt our cards was Mona. She mixed coffee and a packet of blue Hawaiian punch powder together.

For some odd reason we all tried it.

It was disgusting.

It was just drinking hot Hawaiian punch. It makes me puke just wanted to think about it.

I do not recommend it at all.

More Coffee Problems
Yesterday Morning we wanted to get some breakfast before we made our trek home, so we stopped at Schreiner's Diner in Appleton. We sat down and got our coffee, and if you know Mona and I, we consider ourselves coffee drinking experts. Well yesterday we were proven wrong. We know nothing about coffee drinking.

We sat drinking our coffee, that we just got five minutes ago, when the waitress came around with the coffee pot for refills. She looked at our cups as she filled them and said "I would have filled your coffee sooner, but it isn't going down as fast."

It wan't going down as fast! You are telling me these elderly people chit chatting are drinking coffee faster than us?!? So much so to be called out on it?!?!

Mona and I stopped to observe the old people's coffee drinking patterns to see what we were doing wrong. We sat for a few minutes and didn't see them drinking a thing! Until our eyes beheld one woman. She slowly raised her mug to her lips, took a huge sip, and...swished it in her mouth!

 I think our jaws dropped to the floor. These old people are hardcore! No joke.

I don't think swishing coffee can be that good for your teeth!

During this time another waitress came and filled up our mugs again and before I even have time to reach for my mug the first waitress circled around with another pot. "I would fill your mug, but I don't think I could squeeze any coffee in there if I tired". I have never been more humiliated in my life!

I felt like a little girl being scolded for not eating her vegetables.

From there on out, Mona and I chugged our coffee. The next time the waitress came around I pointed out that there was plenty of room to fill now! She praised me for it and I felt whole.

Although we floated out of there we learned valuable life lessons. Mona and I went into that diner as girls and left as woman.

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