Tuesday, November 12, 2013

How Mona Dies

I'm sitting at home minding my own business and super busy (sick and watching Netflix in my pj's) when I get this text from Mona:

Mona: If I got murdered who do you think did it and why?

A strange text you may think, but I jumped right in.

Me: Becky 

(She is one of our closest friends and ex-roommate)

Me: because you said something about her life she didn't like

Me: How about me?

Mona: Lol...if it happened to you I would say your job

Mona: Ahh. Would it be an accident or planned out?

Me: Crime of passion, but Becky has been halfheartedly thinking about it for years.

Mona: Gasp.

Mona: jk I take back this question!

Me: The reason she finally snapped was due to the tumor growing in her brain which she secretly blames you for

Mona: Lol why does she blame me for the tumor

Me: It was the cheese puffs 

(back story: Mona & Becky have this game where they get a big bin of cheese puffs from Sams Club and catch them in their mouths by SPITTING them back and forth to each other...gross I know)

Me: she was sure of it

Me: With the tumor she couldn't hold back her rage as you once again called her out on one of her lies

Me: Why did it really matter if she was at home doing the laundry or out sleeping with the strange man she picked up at the bar

Mona: lol

Me: As you rattled on in your condescending tone, she picked up the chocolate cake sitting on the table and forced you to eat until you ate yourself to death.

Me: just like you tried to do to her before 

(Mona & Becky also have this weird thing were they eat whatever the other puts in their mouth...Mona fed Becky half a cake before and Becky didn't stop her) 

Mona: Lololololol

Me: It was a sweet death

Mona: oh man

Me: I would eat cake every day in memorial to your life and death

Me: Would you seek revenge for my death?

Mona: Oh! It would be a long process. Revenge show like. It would involve falling in love and sleeping with men...but I would do it for you.

Me: good I would expect nothing less

Me: Now I'm really craving a piece of cake. 

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