Mona: If I got murdered who do you think did it and why?
A strange text you may think, but I jumped right in.
(She is one of our closest friends and ex-roommate)
Me: because you said something about her life she didn't like
Me: How about me?
Mona: Ahh. Would it be an accident or planned out?
Me: Crime of passion, but Becky has been halfheartedly thinking about it for years.
Mona: jk I take back this question!
Me: The reason she finally snapped was due to the tumor growing in her brain which she secretly blames you for
Mona: Lol why does she blame me for the tumor
Me: It was the cheese puffs
(back story: Mona & Becky have this game where they get a big bin of cheese puffs from Sams Club and catch them in their mouths by SPITTING them back and forth to each other...gross I know)
Me: she was sure of it
Me: With the tumor she couldn't hold back her rage as you once again called her out on one of her lies
Me: Why did it really matter if she was at home doing the laundry or out sleeping with the strange man she picked up at the bar
Me: As you rattled on in your condescending tone, she picked up the chocolate cake sitting on the table and forced you to eat until you ate yourself to death.
Me: just like you tried to do to her before
(Mona & Becky also have this weird thing were they eat whatever the other puts in their mouth...Mona fed Becky half a cake before and Becky didn't stop her)
Me: It was a sweet death
Mona: oh man
Me: I would eat cake every day in memorial to your life and death
Me: Would you seek revenge for my death?
Mona: Oh! It would be a long process. Revenge show like. It would involve falling in love and sleeping with men...but I would do it for you.
Me: good I would expect nothing less
Me: Now I'm really craving a piece of cake.