Thursday, November 7, 2013

Itty Bitty Pity Party

I started this morning feeling really depressed and sorry for myself.

I didn't want to get out of bed. I was ready to give up on work and school and paying bills. I just wanted to curl up in my little ball of blankets and never come out.

I almost did it! I almost said forget it all! 

But then I started to feel guilty for thinking about it.

I started to feel sick thinking about calling into work.

How do you like that...I can't call into work because I feel too guilty and it makes me sick! (this has been a lifelong problem and not an isolated incident)

I rebelliously laid in bed an extra three minutes, before I begrudgingly got up and went to work.

I did use my pouty face the whole way to work just to let the world know how unhappy I was about the whole thing.

When I walked into my building I found one of my older patients locked inside her car.

This man was trying to get the doors open, but apparently the locks were frozen shut.

I tried to help, but the locks were not budging.

She was terribly upset that she couldn't go to her appointment and slightly afraid she wouldn't be able to get out of her car at all. She left to drive around and warm up her car, so she could hopefully get out.

I thought to myself, "Luna, here you are feeling sorry for yourself over nothing, when you could be trapped inside of your own car."

Okay, so maybe that isn't the most tragic thing in the world, but it made me think that I don't have it so bad and I should stop feeling sorry for myself.

Then I read this: This Guy’s Wife Got Cancer, So He Did Something Unforgettable. The Last 3 Photos Destroyed Me.

Then I saw a lady who got kicked in the face by a horse.

My little pity party this morning was starting to feel foolish.

I'm really a mixed bag of emotions right now. I am still feel a little depressed for myself, I feel ashamed for feeling this way, I feel sorry for the lady locked in her car, I want to cry for the man and his wife, and I feel inspired by the lady who got kicked in the face by a horse and still manages to have a smile on her face.

So, what I'm basically saying is I have a lot of crap to do I don't want to do, but things are looking up, and I want to cry about everything.

You know...normal girl stuff.

(I think I might be PMSing)


  1. The feeling sick makes sense to me! It happens to me too, though not with guilt but with stress in general, if I stress myself out too much I start getting really bad, which makes me stress more, which makes me sick more.

    I hope you feel better though!

  2. i feel a lot of stress and feeling very sick nowadays..
    But anyway..
    I know you will pull through. I wish you will have a happy day today, tomorrow and for always.

    1. I feel this way sometimes, too. Funny how the universe always (and I do mean ALWAYS) serves an attitude/altitude adjustment right in the nick of time. ;) xoxo It's all gonna be fine.

  3. I get like this to Luna. I used to get anxiety attacks but not so much anymore. My husband helps calm me down now! (I tend to cry over everything vs feeling sick. I might go two days a week without crying! lol)