Dog Sitting

On top of my two real jobs (Medical Receptionist and Barista) and Business school I also dog-sit as a pastime activity. (I know I'm super lame) 

Yesterday one of my clients asked me to come over for dinner. 

Guys. I am a very socially awkward person.

Especially in these types of situations. I get nervous and nauseous and I have no idea what to say or do. 

I like to believe, in my head, that I pull these situations off well without letting anyone else know how awkward I feel, but probably not. 

I didn't know what she wanted. I had done this before for her. I know her dogs. Why was she asking me over? 

I felt like I was being called to the principle's office. I felt like I was going to puke. What were we going to talk about for so long? 

I bucked up and happily agreed to go over for pizza. 

One of my main motto's for life (after why the hell not?) is fake it til you make it. 

I had to take a deep breath before I rang the doorbell, but I did it. I didn't run away in fear, like I really wanted to. 

And guess what?! I survived. 

I didn't throw up or die. I even carried on conversation like a normal human being. I'm very proud of myself. 

It did help that she did most of the talking. 

And it turns out that she wanted to ask me over because they are going away for 18 days!

The most I've ever done is about a week. 

I can see why she wanted to have me over to talk about it. There are a lot more things to be taken care of when you're there a month verses a weekend. 

She retold me several things that I already knew. She just kept saying "It just makes me feel better to tell you again". I understand completely. It's hard to leave your dogs for so long, but if I didn't know where the dog food was I think I would be in trouble. 

I'm excited about it. It's like a new adventure. Plus I am way less awkward around the dogs. 

The Zipper Incident

I have mentioned before that I work as a Medical Receptionist. I really like my job and I like most of my patients that come and go, but I definitely get some crazies every now and then. Case in point is the Homicidal Villain I've been talking about (you can read about it here: part 1, part 2, part 3).

Well, yesterday another one of my frequent crazies stopped by to see me. 

It was probably about a year or so ago this guy started coming around. He originally had appointments in my department and seemed like an okay middle aged man. 

After awhile he started to hang around my desk just a little too much before and after his appointments.

 Then he started coming up to me every time he was in the building (it's a big clinic with lots of different departments). I have to admit he was starting to creep me out. 

The turning point of when I though he was just being overly friendly to full out creeper was after this conversation:

Man: So, can I ask you a question? 

Me: Yes.

Man: It's okay if you say no. You don't have to worry.

Me: oookay? (please don't ask me out)

Man: I'm serious you can tell me no.

Me: okay. (he is going to ask me out and it's going to be super awkward because he is old and creepy and I will have to say no.)

Man: Let's say I have somebody's social security number and I wanted you to look up their information for me...could you do that for me? 

Me: Umm....no. (WHAT?!?)

Man: Oh really? Are you sure? 

Me: Umm....yes. It's illegal. (HIPPA laws)

Man: It's just that I didn't want to get another restraining order. That's all.

Me: Oh. Okay. (A RESTRAINING ORDER!?!?! REALLY?!?! WHO IS THIS CRAZY MAN?!?!)

I called administration freaking out as soon as he left. They said if it happens again to let them know.  

 The Stalker still comes in the clinic all the time and comes up and talks to me all the time!

When I am forced to talk to him (because unfortunately it is my job) I keep the conversation as short as possible and act like I'm busy.

Most of the times he doesn't get the hint and keeps talking as a nod and avoid eye contact. 

Well, yesterday he was in again.

I tried my best pawn him off on my coworker and I almost made it. He came in, had his appointment, and left. I thought I was safe! 

THEN HE CAME BACK!

Stalker: Can I ask you a question?

Me: (Oh no! Not again!) Yes. 

Stalker: You always do your best to help patients, right?

Me: Yes? (where is this conversation going?) 

Stalker: So, if a patient is injured you would do anything you could to help them? (He just had surgery on his shoulder) 

Me: Umm...yes.  (no, no, no) 

Stalker: Then I'm going to come around the desk. 

(stalker starts to walk around the desk and I start to panic)

Me: TECHNICALLY I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LET ANYONE BEHIND THE DESK! 

(I hold both of my hands up to stop him just before he gets behind the desk)

Stalker: Okay, I'll just stand here.

Me: okay. (whew) 

Stalker: Okay. Can you help me...zip up my zipper? 

Me:  (gulp, please no)

Stalker: I just can't with this stupid sling on my arm and it's cold outside. 

Me: Yes. I guess I can help you with that. (how do I get myself into these situations?)

I really didn't want to be close enough to him to zip up his jacket, but how was I suppose to say no? 

I zipped it up as quickly as possible, so that he could be on his merry little way. 

After he left, my coworker, who was sitting at the desk next to me, told me she thought he asked me to zip up his pants zipper.

I almost puked.

I think I would have been able to say HELL NO to that request. 

Going Postal

I think my mail person hates me!! 

I've never done anything directly to make him/her hate me, but let's just say I'm not very good at remembering to check my mailbox.

So when I did remember and walked the half mile out of my way to get to my mailbox yesterday, I pulled the little metal door open...and found that my mailbox was jammed so full I could hardly get my mail out! (there may or may not have been two birthday cards stuck there somewhere) I'm not even sure how the mail person got all of that mail in there!

My poor mail person!

And I have to admit this is not not the first time, in the past 16 months that I have lived in this apartment, that this has happened.

Over the summer I was stopped by one of my neighbors while walking to my apartment from my car and this conversation took place:

Neighbor: Hey.

Me: (started stop, awkward look, and uncomfortable pause) 

Neighbor: You live in number 5?

Me: Umm...yes? (I was a little suspicious because we have never done more then the head nod greeting in the past. My first thought was that she was the lookout while her partner was ransacking my place and she was trying to stop me while said partner jumped out of the second story balcony window to get away.)

Neighbor: The mailman asked me to let you know your mailbox is getting kind of full.

Me: Oh? (this was not at all where I thought the conversation was going)

Neighbor: Yeah, so if you just want to go check it.

Me: Yes, yes, I will go and check it right away!

Me: Sorry you had to get involved...(mumbled as I awkwardly kept walking in the direction I was going...away from the mailbox)

So not only does my mail person hate me, my neighbor thinks I'm crazy!

I was so ashamed about this conversation that I didn't tell anyone about it. I just went back, after I made sure my neighbor had gone inside, and got my mail and pretended like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on.

After yesterday's second mailbox fiasco, I finally fessed up to Mona. She laughed...she laughed a lot.

I felt so bad for my poor little mail person that I have never met, but have treated so poorly, that I decided that I owed my him/her an apology.

So, I was up until 2 AM writing an apology letter to my mail person.

Business Partners with Benefits

I almost lost my job yesterday!

I have told you about my coffee shop/Mexican restaurant job. (You can read about it here if you don't remember).

Mandy is the coffee shop owner and Juan is the Mexican restaurant owner. They are business partners and more. And by more I mean business partners with benefits. And by benefits I mean they are sleeping together!

Juan is a nice guy, but he is a big play boy.

Mandy is helplessly in love with him.

Juan told her up front that he didn't want any type of relationship and never would. (does this ever really work?)

Mandy thought she could change his mind and make him fall in love with her. (another big mistake)

Yesterday Juan told Mandy he was done with the "relationship".

This was not good.

Mandy was completely crushed! She was ready to pack up and leave town, quit the business and never look back and leave me without a job!

Mona and I spent all of yesterday trying to help Mandy get through the...breakup? Do you call it a breakup if they technically weren't dating? Anyways, she was all sorts of a mess.

At one point she had her hands around his throat. It started out as a joke, but then she just kinda held on. Mona and I just stood there watching (I didn't want to get in the middle of that!). Thankfully she did let go and Juan and I both took a breath (I didn't even realize I was holding mine).

How do I keep finding myself in these uncomfortable awkward situations?

We had to remind Mandy that she is stronger than she thinks, she will make it through this, hopefully with out choking Juan again. She also deserves better than a "friends with benefits" situation. It will be painful and awkward to continue being business partners, but as I told Mandy yesterday, it's not as bad as having to hug a "homicidal villain". She's a survivor...she not gonna give up. (Yes, I imagine having this talk going along with Destiny Child's "Survivor". It's my go to motivation speech.)

Now we will just have to wait and see how the next few weeks go...