Monday, August 11, 2014

I've Been Robbed!

It's Friday afternoon five minutes after a patient's (who I've had problems with before...see The Phone Call) scheduled appointment time when the phone rings. I answer it. 

The Late Patient (in a loud hysterical voice): (in background) What the @#$%! Shut up! Get the @#$% up!

Me: Um...hello?

Patient (still hysterical): (to me) I'VE BEEN ROBBED!! (to someone else) I don't @#$%^& care!

Me: Oookkaaayyyyy?


Me: Um...yes? So, I'll cancel your appointment? (patient hangs up the phone) Okay then... 

Twenty minutes later the phone rings again.

Me: Hello [Medical Clinic Name] this is Luna. How may I help you? 

Patient (in a very serious and threatening voice): I want you to understand that I was robbed. That is why I did not come in. I was robbed. (this is her trying not to get fired from our practice) Someone stole my disk. My last disk. I was robbed. That's why I couldn't come in. I want to make another appointment. Can I make another appointment? 

Me: (per our policy she was done two canceled visits ago. We've given her all the extra chances we can) I'm sorry I cannot make that appointment. You will have to talk to the Physical Therapist.

Patient: I WAS ROBBED!!!

Me: I understand you were robbed, but you still have to talk to the Physical Therapist before I can schedule anymore appointments. Can I have her give you a call back when she is able?

Patient: Fine! (The phone line goes dead)

You know, the thing about this conversation that bugs me the most is not that she missed her appointment, or that she called to cancel after the fact, or even that she was yelling at me, or swearing at her teenage daughter in the background, it't that I don't know what's on that stupid disk and why it's SO important!!!

Part of me really, really wanted to ask her, but I felt like it would have been highly inappropriate. That and the fact that I think she's crazy enough to say "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," and really mean it. 

Example: I had a voice-mail waiting when I got into work this morning. On the message there was no talking, no breathing, just someone playing For Elise on the piano. It wasn't the normal butt dial type phone call I get. You know the the rustling sounds of being in a pocket or a purse or the realization that they have the phone on. Nothing. It was crisp and clear. Just the piano. And it wasn't like "please hold" type piano music. It was someone playing. I know because it was poorly played. The sound blunt and choppy and a there were a few mistakes. After about a minute the phone just disconnects. The piano never stopping. Again, it was out of the ordinary. Normally the message goes on until the space on the voice-mail ends. This time someone intentionally hung up the phone. Without a change in sound. Quiet except for the piano. It was super creepy. 

I ran the caller ID number though our system was her. She called and left me this message. Intentionally. All because I wouldn't reschedule her appointment! 

Okay, sure, I could be over reacting a little bit. Sure it could have just been a butt dial. But I thought it was weird before I knew it was her. It being this person. This lady makes it worse. It literally gave me the chills!

I think I might need to quit my job. 


  1. Um.... okay. That was pretty creepy. But don't get worried, I doubt she's planning your grisly murder while that very song plays in the background and the camera pans downwards on the....

    Sorry, sorry. Writer's mind, can't help it. Maybe she was trying to get back at you by creeping you out? And nothing beyond that. Keep working here, at the very least we'll get more enterta.... I mean, interesting posts about your work experiences.

    (clears throat)

  2. The money's too good to quit. Plus, this isn't really that probably didn't read about the time I hugged an attempted murder.