"GET OUT OF MY OR!"

Mona and I live together in a very nice, three story, three bedroom apartment.

It's a very large space for just the two of us, so we tried renting out the extra third bedroom for awhile.

In under a year and a half we have managed to run off two roommates.

The first one said she wanted to "live on her own". I'm not sure if that should be taken as an insult or not? (just to clarify, no insult was really taken...although Mona was a little upset...she even wrote a song about it)

And the second one wanted to get away so bad she got appendices and racked up huge medical bills to get away from us (she's okay, she's just broke and couldn't afford to live with us anymore).

So, right now it's just the two of us.

We have thought about getting another roommate. But with roommates, who are not your siblings, you have to behave a little bit or else they run away in fear.

You can't do things like throw your keys in the middle of the floor when you walk in the house.

No more laying sprawled on the living room chair with drool hanging down your face.

Some roommates judge if you sit and watch Grey's Anatomy for three days straight.

And they don't like when you start a million different hobbies and leave your stuff laying everywhere.

You can't leave your underwear laying in the laundry room.

Or take up all the freezer space.

Or forget to do your dishes.

You can't live in the dark like a vampire by not turning on lights and using room darkening drapes.

And they look at you funny when you go into giggling fits that last all night.

And you have to deal with things like boyfriends coming over all the time when you like to live in a boyfriend free zone.

And the weird looks they give you when you try to act like a cat lady without any cats.

Not that I do any of these things...

Anyways, Mona and I have decided that we are going to forgo a roommate for the time being and turn our spare bedroom in to a all purpose media room.

This includes things like musical interments, recording equipment, books, TV, comfy chairs, fun nick knacks and such.

We also decided to call it our Operating Room.

 Mona has been dying to yell:

"GET OUT OF MY OR!"

But she has never been in an appropriate situation to yell it, seeing as she is not a surgeon (again, too much Grey's Anatomy), so this gives her the perfect opportunity.

I have a very strong feeling that I am going to be the one she's yelling at to get out of the OR.

We also bought an embarrassing large TV for the OR that we have yet to tell anyone about.

It's our dirty little secret.

We are suppose to be saving money for our coffee shop.

But how can we have a Media Operating Room without a nice TV?

It's just not possible.

At least there's no roommate to judge us...

Going Down...Town?

Operation move the coffee shop downtown is underway?

At least I think it is. I'm not really sure anymore....

We closed up shop on Saturday with big plans of being all moved into the new building downtown by this Friday.

Last week my coffee boss was pulling and rallying us to put all our effort into the big move this week, so that we can reopen without delay. 

This week Mona and I have hardly been able to pull two words out of her. 

There have been vague plans and almost answers, but every time we start asking too many questions she says she will talk to us later. 

It's already Tuesday and we have done nothing.

Friday is coming up fast!

I drove by the building this morning, before my other job, and there's not even a sign on the old building saying that we are closed, just doors locked and lights off. 

I looked through the window and it didn't seem like anything had been touched since I left on Saturday night. 

Part of me is thinking they have no plan and no idea what they are doing and that they are going to expect us all to drop everything and scramble with them at the last minute (much like how the work scheduling was the last two weeks). 

And part of me is thinking that Mandy and Juan got in another fight and decided to call it quits and forgot to tell us. 

Mona and I aren't sure what to do or if we still have jobs. 

Right now it's a game of wait and see game.  

I don't think there is anyway we will be all moved in by Friday.

Oh and did I mention that Mandy also has us signed up for an local business expo on Sunday, and we have nothing done for that either? 

Oy Vey!

Back to Work

First day back to work after a whole week of sleeping in and goofing off and not doing much of anything important or responsible.

Today I rediscovered my hatred for alarm clocks. 

I had to drag myself out of my nice warm and cozy bed. And wouldn't you know it was the nicest and warmest and coziest bed ever.

After I managed to get up, I was so tired I could hardly remember how to shower. I think I might still have soap in my hair.

Finding something to wear also proved difficult. I have been wearing all of my inappropriate work attire this past week (by inappropriate I mean jeans and sweatshirts) and all of my work clothes seemed to disappear. I'm did wear a nice shirt yesterday, so I wore that again today (nobody at work saw me in it and it doesn't smell).

I bundled up in coat and scarf, grabbed my dry Wheaties in a paper bowl, and braved the dark cold windy morning.

The sun was nowhere in site. I swear last time I went to work it wasn't this dark.

People shouldn't be up before the sun.

It's just wrong. An injustice to all mankind!

I grumbled about the dark all the way to work only to walk into an even darker empty building.

It felt weird going back into work, it may have only been a week, but it was still surreal walking into the desolate building.

It was like I had been here before, but it was a distant memory. Would I even remember all the passwords I changed right before I left?

There was a real moment of panic, because I didn't write them down anywhere and my mind blanked for minute, but my brain kicked in and I was able to log in to all of my computer programs.

My brain might have remember how to do all my work, but it still doesn't like it. Especially all the paperwork only I know how to do and have to catch up on.

I did, however, miss all the workplace drama.

This morning has been full of tales of the suicide of the chief of police (who was found dead on the trail behind where I live...super creepy) and rumors of him cheating on his wife and how the police are covering it up and a list of all of the people who wanted him dead.

And how a detective is investigating a coworker on daycare fraud and trying to find out who turned her Facebook page into the cops as evidence.

Also things like the latest diet trends.

Or how I wasn't here when a coworker's cousin pasted away suddenly.

And how someone else is trying to talk her cousin into going to Kilimanjaro in May.

And making up our gift basket for the United Way fundraiser.

And I did miss some of my patients like the lady who always stops by to have me copy her paperwork for her insurance company.

Or the old man who has me print him off his schedule everyday because he likes the way I do it best.

I may not have missed the waking up early or paperwork, but I really did miss all of the people. This is my work family and I like being apart of their lives and really miss them when I'm not here. 

Banker's Hours

I think I am going to like this coffee shop moving downtown business.

So, I was working like normal, minding my own business, when this gorgeous man walks in.

Let's just say he was not to terrible to look at...blond hair, an adorable smile, and a fitted gray business suit with a six pack underneath (I'm just guessing about that last part).

Pure ugly.

Come to find out he was looking for my coffee boss, Mandy, because he is working with her for our relocation downtown.

If these are what the downtown men look like I say we pack up and go right now!

Right now we get all the ugly smoke shop men from next door. Not pretty.

Once I found out he was helping us with our move downtown, I of course, introduced myself.

Then this crazy woman, who everyone calls "Man Hands" walked in and interrupted our lovely conversation, by asking for the free burrito Mandy had promised her for not smoking the last ten days (I think she might have been smoking something else).

The gorgeous man started backing towards the exit...stupid Man Hands!

On his way out he said "Tell Mandy I will call her and maybe I will see you downtown someday".

I took this as he is madly in love with me and wants to see me again. (I think it was more of a general pleasantry, but I like to believe otherwise, so don't burst my bubble!)

As soon as Man Hands left, I immediately called Mandy and asked her where she had been hiding this wonderful man.

Apparently he has been hiding in the normal banker's business hours while I have been at my other job.

Yes, that's right, he's also a banker

I told her that I wanted to be in charge of all of the downtown business interactions from this point on and that she can give him my phone number for further contact.

She said she would give him my number and tell him if he needs help with anything, anything at all, that he can call me.

Perfect.

Can we please be downtown already?

Homework

I told myself I was going to get caught up on all the homework I'm behind on this week.

LIES!

The furthest I've manged to get is logging into the website and checking my school email.

I specifically came into the coffee shop today to sit and do at least 3 hours of homework before I start my shift at 3:30.

As I'm grabbing my coffee by boss asks if I can start at 2:30 instead...there goes an hour

Well after talking to everybody and catching up on my gossip it's already 1:00.

I could have start my homework, but now there just doesn't seem like enough time to even leave a dent, so I'll just try again tomorrow.

Or that's what I tell myself to feel better.

Sunday night I will be scrambling to try and get everything done before I have to talk to my teacher on Monday.

THICKENING SKIN

Mona is a wonderful singer, songwriter, and guitarist. I am her lyricist and manager. 

And since I'm not working we actually had time to write a song today! 

We were just hanging at the coffee shop working on the song this afternoon. As Mona was running through it a lady came in and asked if Mona would be interested in performing at her dance studio sometime.

We exchanged businessy information and everything!

I would say that it's a successful song!

We are still working out some of the little kinks, but here are the lyrics to the song. I will try to record it sometime this week to share with you all! 

THICKENING SKIN

hidden in the corner 4th G D

holding tight onto my tongue

thickening skin

only covers from the outside in

It feels like

daggers to the heart

leaving no scars

pulling me apart

as it goes on

overcome then drowning

always worsening the feeling

clenched jaw

can only hold on for so long

It feels like

daggers to the heart

leaving no scars

pulling me apart

as it goes on

overgrown and overthrown

long past time is overdue

ancient and buried

long ago

It feels like

daggers to the heart

leaving no scars

pulling me apart

as it goes on

as life goes on

Vacation Station

I have off of my Medical Receptionist job this week. And let me tell you after the zipper incident last week I need it.

I love my job, but if I didn't get a break every now and then I would go crazy....it could already be to late.

I'm still glad to have off.

Last night I got to turn off my six am alarm and sleep until nine. Too bad I was rudely awoken by my second alarm, that I forgot to shut off, at six thirty.

I won't make that mistake again.

Once Mona and I got up and got ready, we went and explored the health food store across the street. We don't shop there much because it's super pricey, but we are splurging this week.

We got freshly made carrot juice and the "eye opener" special of the month. I'm not really sure what's all in it, but it was good. Mona also picked up a ten dollar jar of Vanilla Espresso Almond Butter to try.

It was really good, but it was a strange consistency. Almost like really oily peanut butter that doesn't mix well.

After that we headed to the coffee shop.

Mona's working at the coffee shop today and i'm just chilling here (while I'm trying to do homework, but let's not think about that right now) and I'm making her serve me coffee.

It's wonderful (besides the homework)

Also, my friend, Beth, and her kids stopped by for a coffee date and my friend, Becky, brought Mona and I lunch.

I wish I could get paid to do nothing all the time, because I could get very much used to this.

The Zipper Incident

I have mentioned before that I work as a Medical Receptionist. I really like my job and I like most of my patients that come and go, but I definitely get some crazies every now and then. Case in point is the Homicidal Villain I've been talking about (you can read about it here: part 1, part 2, part 3).

Well, yesterday another one of my frequent crazies stopped by to see me. 

It was probably about a year or so ago this guy started coming around. He originally had appointments in my department and seemed like an okay middle aged man. 

After awhile he started to hang around my desk just a little too much before and after his appointments.

 Then he started coming up to me every time he was in the building (it's a big clinic with lots of different departments). I have to admit he was starting to creep me out. 

The turning point of when I though he was just being overly friendly to full out creeper was after this conversation:

Man: So, can I ask you a question? 

Me: Yes.

Man: It's okay if you say no. You don't have to worry.

Me: oookay? (please don't ask me out)

Man: I'm serious you can tell me no.

Me: okay. (he is going to ask me out and it's going to be super awkward because he is old and creepy and I will have to say no.)

Man: Let's say I have somebody's social security number and I wanted you to look up their information for me...could you do that for me? 

Me: Umm....no. (WHAT?!?)

Man: Oh really? Are you sure? 

Me: Umm....yes. It's illegal. (HIPPA laws)

Man: It's just that I didn't want to get another restraining order. That's all.

Me: Oh. Okay. (A RESTRAINING ORDER!?!?! REALLY?!?! WHO IS THIS CRAZY MAN?!?!)

I called administration freaking out as soon as he left. They said if it happens again to let them know.  

 The Stalker still comes in the clinic all the time and comes up and talks to me all the time!

When I am forced to talk to him (because unfortunately it is my job) I keep the conversation as short as possible and act like I'm busy.

Most of the times he doesn't get the hint and keeps talking as a nod and avoid eye contact. 

Well, yesterday he was in again.

I tried my best pawn him off on my coworker and I almost made it. He came in, had his appointment, and left. I thought I was safe! 

THEN HE CAME BACK!

Stalker: Can I ask you a question?

Me: (Oh no! Not again!) Yes. 

Stalker: You always do your best to help patients, right?

Me: Yes? (where is this conversation going?) 

Stalker: So, if a patient is injured you would do anything you could to help them? (He just had surgery on his shoulder) 

Me: Umm...yes.  (no, no, no) 

Stalker: Then I'm going to come around the desk. 

(stalker starts to walk around the desk and I start to panic)

Me: TECHNICALLY I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LET ANYONE BEHIND THE DESK! 

(I hold both of my hands up to stop him just before he gets behind the desk)

Stalker: Okay, I'll just stand here.

Me: okay. (whew) 

Stalker: Okay. Can you help me...zip up my zipper? 

Me:  (gulp, please no)

Stalker: I just can't with this stupid sling on my arm and it's cold outside. 

Me: Yes. I guess I can help you with that. (how do I get myself into these situations?)

I really didn't want to be close enough to him to zip up his jacket, but how was I suppose to say no? 

I zipped it up as quickly as possible, so that he could be on his merry little way. 

After he left, my coworker, who was sitting at the desk next to me, told me she thought he asked me to zip up his pants zipper.

I almost puked.

I think I would have been able to say HELL NO to that request. 

Going Postal

I think my mail person hates me!! 

I've never done anything directly to make him/her hate me, but let's just say I'm not very good at remembering to check my mailbox.

So when I did remember and walked the half mile out of my way to get to my mailbox yesterday, I pulled the little metal door open...and found that my mailbox was jammed so full I could hardly get my mail out! (there may or may not have been two birthday cards stuck there somewhere) I'm not even sure how the mail person got all of that mail in there!

My poor mail person!

And I have to admit this is not not the first time, in the past 16 months that I have lived in this apartment, that this has happened.

Over the summer I was stopped by one of my neighbors while walking to my apartment from my car and this conversation took place:

Neighbor: Hey.

Me: (started stop, awkward look, and uncomfortable pause) 

Neighbor: You live in number 5?

Me: Umm...yes? (I was a little suspicious because we have never done more then the head nod greeting in the past. My first thought was that she was the lookout while her partner was ransacking my place and she was trying to stop me while said partner jumped out of the second story balcony window to get away.)

Neighbor: The mailman asked me to let you know your mailbox is getting kind of full.

Me: Oh? (this was not at all where I thought the conversation was going)

Neighbor: Yeah, so if you just want to go check it.

Me: Yes, yes, I will go and check it right away!

Me: Sorry you had to get involved...(mumbled as I awkwardly kept walking in the direction I was going...away from the mailbox)

So not only does my mail person hate me, my neighbor thinks I'm crazy!

I was so ashamed about this conversation that I didn't tell anyone about it. I just went back, after I made sure my neighbor had gone inside, and got my mail and pretended like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on.

After yesterday's second mailbox fiasco, I finally fessed up to Mona. She laughed...she laughed a lot.

I felt so bad for my poor little mail person that I have never met, but have treated so poorly, that I decided that I owed my him/her an apology.

So, I was up until 2 AM writing an apology letter to my mail person.

Stupid Goodreads

You remember back when I said I was done reading book reviews?

Well, I've gone and got myself in big trouble...I signed up for Goodreads today.

I'm an idiot! I don't have time for this!

But look at all the pretty books! It wouldn't hurt to just look.

Are you sure? I have a blog to write and work to do and homework to get done.

You won't be on there long...you will just take a little peak. 

But if I look I will want to read all the books!

No, no my dear. You have more self control then that.

You're right I will just sign up look to see what it is and then get back to my work. I AM IN CONTROL.

Yes, you are in control. (hehe)

Five hours later

WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!

Nothing...the answer is nothing. I have done nothing but look at books and book reviews and book giveaways all morning!

I have 83 books in my "Read" bookshelf. And that's without looking very hard.

There are 66 in the "To Read" section. Which could have been way higher if I didn't restrain myself a little bit.

And I am "Currently Reading" 6 books.  This may seem like a high number, but I have reading books all over. I have them upstairs, downstairs, in my car, in my purse, and on my phone. I also have heavy and light reading categories in different spots for options depending on my mood. So six is really a low number...wait, I just remembered that I have Game of Thrones as my heavy reading car book! So change that to 7 books...

And this is me restraining myself.

You need to go back and add Game of Thrones to your reading list.

You could say I might have little bit of a problem.

Your list is incomplete without it!

Shut up, Voice! That wasn't a no! I'm going to do it right now...

Okay, you could say I have a big problem.

(you can follow me on Goodreads at  https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/24729608-luna-lablue)

The Walking Dead and Instruction Manuals

Mona and I have been trying to save money, so we cut down to basic cable in June.

Over the summer this was no problem. We were busy running around and there wasn't a huge amount of cable shows on that we wanted to watch, so we didn't care that much (except for our problems during SHARK WEEK)  

This fall has been a little harder...

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE WALKING DEAD STARTS AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT!!!!

I had to find out from my mom, after she watched it! (and if you know my mom this is super embarrassing)  

Mom saved The Walking Dead and Talking Dead on her DVR for me and she let me and my friend Becky come over last night to watch them with a homemade dinner included!

When we arrived there were some technical difficulties...with the dinner.

Mom's new oven kept turning off in the middle of baking our dinner. 

Mom and Dad were trying to figure out how to fix their oven problem and I tried to help by reading the instruction manual. 

It was fascinating! 

I didn't solve the problem, but I did find out some very interesting thing about ovens I never knew!

Like putting aluminum foil on the bottom of an oven can ruin it.

Or covering the racks with aluminum foil is not recommend because it prevents air flow.

And that most modern appliances now have something called "Sabbath Mode" which shuts off all the extra features to allow people with religious beliefs, like Jews, to be able to cook food on the Sabbath without breaking any of their not working on the Sabbath day laws. 

www.thriftyniftymommy.com

The things you can learn by reading an instruction manual!

Again, I didn't figure out what the problem was, but I knew it was NOT something covered in the instruction manual. That's something right?

With some maneuvering, Mom was eventually able to get our dinner cooked, so could eat, but they will have to call the repair man to really fix the oven. 

Then it was time to watch The Walking Dead!

I LOVE THAT SHOW! 

I don't want to give away too much, just in case you are like me and waiting to watch it on your mom's DVR, but it was good. 

There was blood and guts and crazy zombies and crazy people and pigs and death and tears and no tears and knifes and guns and heads and gardens and action and death and crazy new things things that leave you wanting it to be next week already! 

At one point Becky even screamed. I wasn't paying attention, so when this high pitched noise came out of nowhere I nearly jumped right out of my seat! 

It was awesome!

-----

Now if there is ever a zombie apocalypse I will know how to survive by being able to cook my food in an oven that is on Sabbath Mode! (I could also sabotage an enemy's food with aluminum foil...they would never see it coming...but I don't want to give away all my apocalypse survival plans)

The Apathetic White Rabbit

I'm just a little apathetic today. 

Feels like I've gone and lost my way. 

Not a thought or care alike 

Much to my lack of overwhelming delight. 

I don't feel inspiring or funny or thoughtful today. I don't feel frustrated or angry or disheartened. I don't feel much of anything. I'm just kind of here. Staring at a blank page with nothing much to write. 

www.hitfix.com

I think it might be from my lack of sleep last night. I woke up shockingly several times and had to calm myself down. I don't remember having any nightmares, but I did feel a bit like the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. 

Late, late for a very important date. 

Maybe I shouldn't be watching the new Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. 

The Life of a Receptionist

Well folks, all of my hard work has finally paid off.

Most people think the job of a Medical Receptionist is a lowly no power type of job, but most people are wrong. 

Receptionists rule the office. They tell everyone where and when to be and what to do. Who can come and who has to go. And if you are ever unfortunate enough to make the gatekeeper mad there is major hell to pay! (that last part may be a teeny tiny bit of an exaggeration). You want to be nice to your receptionists and do what they tell you and life will be easier. 

Yesterday I proved I have successfully trained everyone at work.

I went in knowing that I was getting free pizza. It was our annual forums and they always supply Pizza Hut
pizza for us. 

I got to work early and was sitting at my desk, when one of the Physical Therapists walked in and handed me a Tupperware container filled with sugar cookies stuffed with Nutella and topped with salt (they were to die for).

For lunch I went downstairs and ate my Pizza Hut taco pizza and Diet Pepsi provided for the meeting (and I also love meetings, so that's a plus).

When I went back upstairs I was greeted by my patients with "You're so pretty!" and "I love your hair!" 

Late afternoon arrived and I was brought an Iced Vanilla Latte by another one of my Physical Therapists.

About a half hour later I was offered another Latte by administration that I regretfully had to decline, because I already had one.  

Our runner (who runs papers and stuff around the building) brought me the People magazine that I got to enjoy while sipping my coffee. 

You could say it was a pretty wonderful day at work. 

And top the whole day off I went over to my parents' house after work and my mother had gourmet goodies and red wine waiting for me. (it may have been for a whole group of people, but after how my day had been I felt like it was just for me.)

It was a wonderful day!

I text Mona and told her of all the great and wonderful things that had happened to me.

At first she said "It's like you work in Dermatology on Grey's!" (you will only get this if you are as addicted to Grey's Anatomy as we are)

Then she sent me this picture and said "this is what you looked like while eating those cookies"

I answered by saying "But there was someone there to hand wipe my face with a moist towelette!"

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS

I work in a great department with great people. I love my job and I would do anything for any of my coworkers. I bake cookies and bring coffee for them just as much as they do for me and go out of my way to make sure their schedules run smoothly.

We often do things just to be nice, it just seemed like all the niceness was wrapped up in one all around nice day yesterday and I have to say, it was kinda nice. 

Dramatic Turn

My poor coffee boss, Mandy, had such a bad day yesterday!

Her day started off so good and then it took a very dramatic turn for the worst.

When I talked to her in the morning things were wonderful!

The coffee shop relocation  was coming along nicely. They were drawing up paperwork for a main street location for a thousand dollars a month (almost unheard of downtown plus it's $1,700 less than what we are paying now).

There was no drama at home (which is a little unusual for her).

And she was getting over her breakup with Juan. She had been talking to this guy online for about a year and they finally decided to meet on Tuesday night.

Mandy was nervous and only wanted to meet him for five minutes, so they decided to meet in the Walmart parking lot over by the liquor store (crazy thing about my town, we have to sell alcohol in it's own establishments, so we are talking the back lot of Walmart) at night.

When she was telling Mona and I this story we made fun of her so much! Who meets a guy they met online, at Walmart, at night? That's safe and so not ghetto at all!

Anyways, they did hit it off and she really likes him. She said they had this big movie moment kiss where he grabbed her face and pulled her in and just kissed her. She said if she hadn't been standing next to her car she might of fallen backwards it was so good.

They liked each other so much they even made plans to go out again last night.

So you could say she was in a pretty good mood yesterday morning.

Then we fast-forward to when I went into work that night. 

She got an email from the property manager saying they "miscalculated" the amount of space in the building and the rent would be going up an extra $500.

When she had gone home to see her son, he pulled her into his bedroom and closed the door and started sobbing uncontrollably.

He told her his missed his grandpa (her dad who passed away a few months ago) and didn't know what to do.

When she got back to work she asked me "how do you help someone with something when you're not even okay with it?" I told her "No thank you have a nice day?" and walked away. (when faced with difficult situations, where I have no idea what to do or say, I try humor to make people feel better...I got her to smile, so mission accomplished).

And the the final blow...the guy stopped responding to all of her messages.

Not a word from him after making the plans to go out again. She sat waiting all night, ready to go out with him, and the jerk never answered her back. Just left her without a word.

She ended up sitting with Juan at the restaurant all night.

At the end of the night I gave her a hug and told her everything was going to be okay, but my heart was breaking for how her good day turned out so very bad and so very heartbreaking.

You Said What?

Weird Things That Have Been Said To Me This Past Week

"When someone breaks your heart you should punch them in the face. I've done it a few times." -strange man at work

"I'll give you a free coffee if you get me a candle. The people who were just here smelled."-Coffee Boss

"Tell her next time her coffee is $50!"-Coffee Boss said this to Mona after I said it was the boss who smelled.

"She moved the cat picture again?"-Coffee Boss

"I can't come into work today. My cats have flees and I'm freaking out!"-Coworker

"I've been catfished. He kept telling me his mother was different ethnicities"-Friend

"I fell down the stairs after I worked out because my legs were like jelly. I also fell down them this morning before I worked out." -Mona

"Working out on your period is weird, so I don't do it."-Mona

"We are going to take a class this week and are going to give you all the papers after so you can tell us what to do."- Bosses at my performance review

"I was a weird child. I liked to live in the closet and wanted a wheelchair for my birthday."-Anonymous

"There's a nice park across the street. Mona could just find a nice bench and sleep there. We could play where's Mona!"-Coworker

"GO AHEAD AND EAT MY FN ICE CREAM!"-Mona after she told me she was having a horrible day and I asked if it was a bad time to tell her I ate all her ice cream. (just to clarify I did not really eat the ice cream)

Coffee Shop Relocation

The coffee shop I'm working for, the one that's also a Mexican restaurant and also has been having some partner relationship problems, is relocating.

They are relocating downtown, because the rent was raised $700 where they are now. The building we are moving into is smaller, but has the option to grow.

They are getting rid of the Mexican restaurant (but not the business partner) and just going with the coffee shop in the move, but the coffee shop is still going to be serving taco's on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights.

I am glad they are getting rid of the Mexican restaurant, but I personally think that still serving taco's on the weekend is a big mistake for several reasons. And I am going to tell you guys why, because they refuse to listen to me and I need to vent.

1. Coffee shops and taco places attract two VERY different types of customers. They say they want to draw in the hip modern sophisticated coffee drinking crowd. The taco place will drawn in the drunk hicks. 

2. We are in a fairly large town (63,000) and there is no coffee shop downtown. This is a GREAT unique opportunity and you will monopolize the downtown market!! There are already two other taco places downtown. One is an very unique authentic well priced great Mexican grocery and restaurant. We will make an average overpriced taco.

3. It's a small place. If people are taking up space waiting for their tacos it is not going to leave a lot of room for the people who are there to sit and drink their coffee. 

4. Coffee and tacos taste terrible together. It's true. It's absolutely terrible. You can try it if you want, but I wouldn't recommend it.  

If they go this way they are going to continue to drive away their customers!

I know that if I'm at a coffee shop on a weekend night, it is because I'm trying to avoid the drunk bar crowd and I don't want to be at a place that is selling tacos to them. 

I know that I'm just their minimum wage Barista/Waitress, but I'm not getting my B.S. in Business Management for nothing! These are things I have learned. I can't help, but want to help, but nobody's listening!!

Daughter of the Year Award

I am a terrible, crappy, atrocious, absolutely horrifyingly dreadful daughter!

Background Story

I don't sleep at night. I am a terrible insomniac (and it's not because of all the coffee...I have tested this before). I function on about four to five hours of very interrupted sleep and can go about life perfectly fine, so it doesn't bother me much.

But, after a while of not sleeping, well I kinda crash. I never see it coming. I tell myself I'm just going to close my eyes for a minute...take a little half hour nap.  
Before I know it I'm woken up twelve hours later with someone banging on my door with life support.

During this time I am, as Mona calls it, "dead to the world". I don't hear a thing. I am completely passed out with drool running down my face and all.

Mona says she has tried to wake me when I have been in this "napping" state before and all she will say is don't poke the bear while it's napping.

I don't remember anything.

I was just napping. No life support needed.

Yesterday

I got off of work early (I know crazy concept). Mona was working late, so I was going to be home alone and my mom was in Milwaukee, so my dad was home alone. I called to see if he wanted to go to dinner with me, so we didn't have to eat alone.

I CALLED TO MAKE THE PLANS!

I got off work at one and we weren't going to be eating dinner until five, so I foolishly thought to myself that I have time to take a little nap. I will even set my alarm for four just in case.

I found my self woken up from someone pounding on the walls downstairs. I thought it was my neighbors because we have paper thin apartment walls and I swear they have 12 kids. I looked at the clock and went into a panic because it said 7:30 meaning I was suppose to be at work thirty minutes ago!

As I was running around like a mad woman, I grabbed my phone and noticed I had seven missed calls, several text message, and even Facebook notification from my Father, Mother, and Mona all questioning if I was alive or not.

Finally what really happened clicked. It was 7:30 PM and I missed dinner with my dad.

The banging was still going on as I hurriedly dialed my dad's number to apologize and let him know I was in fact still alive.

The banging stopped.

Come to find out the banging was my father at my front door and not the noisy neighbors with the twenty-six children.

My dad was so concerned with my well being that he drove across town and stated banging on my door to check to make sure I was okay. He thought I was literally dead.

Mona said she knew I was sleeping.

Nobody saw that...right?

She came in again!! The "Homicidal Villain"! 

What does she think? Just because she broke her hand she has to be here every day?

Or is she really doing it to torment and haunt me in my waking nightmares!

Or is she coming in to poison my coffee while I'm not looking! (I am not leaving my coffee out of sight anytime soon)

Let's try not to think about this.

Thankfully, this time, I was able to avoid being in position to accidentally hug her.

So here's what happened...

Layout of Luna's Work

The Homicidal Villain walked in the front door (please see the elaborate, carefully crafted, drawn to scale replica of my building to the right), the girl at the Urgent Care desk, Kim (who knows the whole tragic story), sees the H.V. walk in and immediately calls me to warn me that she is in the building.

As you can clearly see, when someone walks in the front door they can easily see me sitting at my desk. So naturally, when Kim told me she was in the building, I immediately jumped under my desk with phone in hand and hid like someone was sneaking in the house while I was home alone and knew they were going to murder me.

Once I realized where I was, I slowly crept up from my desk, carefully checking to make sure the H.V. was nowhere in sight, and resumed work like a normal human being.

I feel like a idiot for hiding under my desk at work, especially when there were lots and lots of people around, but hopefully nobody saw me cowering under my desk like a little girl.

Just smile and way boys...smile and wave.

Business Partners with Benefits

I almost lost my job yesterday!

I have told you about my coffee shop/Mexican restaurant job. (You can read about it here if you don't remember).

Mandy is the coffee shop owner and Juan is the Mexican restaurant owner. They are business partners and more. And by more I mean business partners with benefits. And by benefits I mean they are sleeping together!

Juan is a nice guy, but he is a big play boy.

Mandy is helplessly in love with him.

Juan told her up front that he didn't want any type of relationship and never would. (does this ever really work?)

Mandy thought she could change his mind and make him fall in love with her. (another big mistake)

Yesterday Juan told Mandy he was done with the "relationship".

This was not good.

Mandy was completely crushed! She was ready to pack up and leave town, quit the business and never look back and leave me without a job!

Mona and I spent all of yesterday trying to help Mandy get through the...breakup? Do you call it a breakup if they technically weren't dating? Anyways, she was all sorts of a mess.

At one point she had her hands around his throat. It started out as a joke, but then she just kinda held on. Mona and I just stood there watching (I didn't want to get in the middle of that!). Thankfully she did let go and Juan and I both took a breath (I didn't even realize I was holding mine).

How do I keep finding myself in these uncomfortable awkward situations?

We had to remind Mandy that she is stronger than she thinks, she will make it through this, hopefully with out choking Juan again. She also deserves better than a "friends with benefits" situation. It will be painful and awkward to continue being business partners, but as I told Mandy yesterday, it's not as bad as having to hug a "homicidal villain". She's a survivor...she not gonna give up. (Yes, I imagine having this talk going along with Destiny Child's "Survivor". It's my go to motivation speech.)

Now we will just have to wait and see how the next few weeks go...

What are you trying to say Mona?

There was a very personal offense committed against me today! 

So, I went into the coffee shop this morning, like I do every morning, to get my coffee. Mona was working. I was running late and still half asleep, so I told her to make me whatever she wanted.

She handed me my drink and as I grabbed it to run (as I said before I was running late) I asked her what it was. She said "Just try it and text me what you think".

Guys, it always makes me a little weary when Mona doesn't tell me what it is I am putting in my mouth. One time she made Easy Mac with Code Red and wanted me to eat it. It was weird. Let's just say she likes to "experiment" with her food or rather my food. 

As I backed out of the coffee shop I  gave her my squinty suspicious eyes. Normally I refuse to put anything in my mouth from Mona unless she tells me what it is, but I was late and it was coffee. 

Once I got to work I went to take my first sip. 

It was...different. 

It just tasted a little off. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was off about it, but I didn't think I liked it. 

I messaged Mona to see what weird thing I was drinking. 

----

Me: What is it?

Mona: Do you like it or no?

Me: I don't know

Me I don't think it is my favorite  (this was me trying to be nice and not hurt Mona's feelings)

Mona: Lol

Me: what is it?

Mona: Sugar free, fat free vanilla latte! haha

Me: THAT'S IT! YOU TOOK OUT ALL THE SUGAR!!

Me: i don't like it

Mona: Lololololol

Me: ya creep 

Mona: I was hoping you would like it

Me: why...so I don't drink sugar all day?

Me: I'm not even a fan of regular vanilla all the time.

Mona: Lol okay we'll try caramel tomorrow Hahaaaaaaahahah

Me: Meow.

----

SHE TOOK ALL THE SUGAR OUT OF MY COFFEE!!!

First of all, it is a sin to take the sugar out of someone's coffee, especially without asking or telling them.

Second, what is she trying to say about me? 

I don't like it. 

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