You Said What?

Weird Things That Have Been Said To Me This Past Week

"When someone breaks your heart you should punch them in the face. I've done it a few times." -strange man at work

"I'll give you a free coffee if you get me a candle. The people who were just here smelled."-Coffee Boss

"Tell her next time her coffee is $50!"-Coffee Boss said this to Mona after I said it was the boss who smelled.

"She moved the cat picture again?"-Coffee Boss

"I can't come into work today. My cats have flees and I'm freaking out!"-Coworker

"I've been catfished. He kept telling me his mother was different ethnicities"-Friend

"I fell down the stairs after I worked out because my legs were like jelly. I also fell down them this morning before I worked out." -Mona

"Working out on your period is weird, so I don't do it."-Mona

"We are going to take a class this week and are going to give you all the papers after so you can tell us what to do."- Bosses at my performance review

"I was a weird child. I liked to live in the closet and wanted a wheelchair for my birthday."-Anonymous

"There's a nice park across the street. Mona could just find a nice bench and sleep there. We could play where's Mona!"-Coworker

"GO AHEAD AND EAT MY FN ICE CREAM!"-Mona after she told me she was having a horrible day and I asked if it was a bad time to tell her I ate all her ice cream. (just to clarify I did not really eat the ice cream)