The Zipper Incident

I have mentioned before that I work as a Medical Receptionist. I really like my job and I like most of my patients that come and go, but I definitely get some crazies every now and then. Case in point is the Homicidal Villain I've been talking about (you can read about it here: part 1, part 2, part 3).

Well, yesterday another one of my frequent crazies stopped by to see me. 

It was probably about a year or so ago this guy started coming around. He originally had appointments in my department and seemed like an okay middle aged man. 

After awhile he started to hang around my desk just a little too much before and after his appointments.

 Then he started coming up to me every time he was in the building (it's a big clinic with lots of different departments). I have to admit he was starting to creep me out. 

The turning point of when I though he was just being overly friendly to full out creeper was after this conversation:

Man: So, can I ask you a question? 

Me: Yes.

Man: It's okay if you say no. You don't have to worry.

Me: oookay? (please don't ask me out)

Man: I'm serious you can tell me no.

Me: okay. (he is going to ask me out and it's going to be super awkward because he is old and creepy and I will have to say no.)

Man: Let's say I have somebody's social security number and I wanted you to look up their information for me...could you do that for me? 

Me: Umm....no. (WHAT?!?)

Man: Oh really? Are you sure? 

Me: Umm....yes. It's illegal. (HIPPA laws)

Man: It's just that I didn't want to get another restraining order. That's all.

Me: Oh. Okay. (A RESTRAINING ORDER!?!?! REALLY?!?! WHO IS THIS CRAZY MAN?!?!)

I called administration freaking out as soon as he left. They said if it happens again to let them know.  

 The Stalker still comes in the clinic all the time and comes up and talks to me all the time!

When I am forced to talk to him (because unfortunately it is my job) I keep the conversation as short as possible and act like I'm busy.

Most of the times he doesn't get the hint and keeps talking as a nod and avoid eye contact. 

Well, yesterday he was in again.

I tried my best pawn him off on my coworker and I almost made it. He came in, had his appointment, and left. I thought I was safe! 

THEN HE CAME BACK!

Stalker: Can I ask you a question?

Me: (Oh no! Not again!) Yes. 

Stalker: You always do your best to help patients, right?

Me: Yes? (where is this conversation going?) 

Stalker: So, if a patient is injured you would do anything you could to help them? (He just had surgery on his shoulder) 

Me: Umm...yes.  (no, no, no) 

Stalker: Then I'm going to come around the desk. 

(stalker starts to walk around the desk and I start to panic)

Me: TECHNICALLY I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO LET ANYONE BEHIND THE DESK! 

(I hold both of my hands up to stop him just before he gets behind the desk)

Stalker: Okay, I'll just stand here.

Me: okay. (whew) 

Stalker: Okay. Can you help me...zip up my zipper? 

Me:  (gulp, please no)

Stalker: I just can't with this stupid sling on my arm and it's cold outside. 

Me: Yes. I guess I can help you with that. (how do I get myself into these situations?)

I really didn't want to be close enough to him to zip up his jacket, but how was I suppose to say no? 

I zipped it up as quickly as possible, so that he could be on his merry little way. 

After he left, my coworker, who was sitting at the desk next to me, told me she thought he asked me to zip up his pants zipper.

I almost puked.

I think I would have been able to say HELL NO to that request.