Famdamly Convo: Illegal Contraband

If you read my blog yesterday, you might have noticed that I confessed to reading books my mother forbid behind her back. Mom thought reading teen romance books would ruin my life by turning me into a boy crazed monster that would eventually lead me to teen pregnancy.

Mom reads my blog. 

This is the message I got from Mom this morning after she read yesterday's post:

Mom: Fess up Luna where did you got the illegal contraband!!

Me: (I knew right away what she was talking about) Umm...the library.

Mom: Did you hide them or was I a dork and just didn't notice...I think we changed and said you could read, cuz you and Noelle (our next door neighbor...a pastor's daughter who was allowed to read them) were reading them

Me: I hid them. You caught me once when I was on the college years and you gave me a big speech, which I contemplated, but eventually ignored. By the time you gave the okay I was long done with the books. 

(I remember this VERY well...I was doing laundry in the basement as a guise to be reading and Mom came down unexpectedly. I quickly tried to shove the book under a towel on the top of the drier, but Mom caught me before I could hide it. She asked me to pull out what I was hiding. Not making eye contact, I slowly pulled out the banned book. We stood there, in the laundry room, unmoving, me emotionless, as she gave me a speech about the books and how they would corrupt my mind. I think I only half listened, because I had heard it all before. I didn't understand..I just wanted to know if Christy ended up with Todd! If you follow this blog you can tell that the books really turned me into a boy crazed monster...and if you really follow this blog you know that is the exact opposite of the truth.)

Mom: Yeah and look what it did to you...a hopeless romantic. I Knew it

Me: Ruined my life.

Mom: See I tried to warn you

Mona: Oh gosh

Mom: Us parents are super smart you know

To this day I don't understand the concept of Banned Books. Teach kids to be discerning and not believe everything they read in books or on the internet. Talk about the books and the ideas and concepts, the good and the bad. That's something I learned from Mom, so you don't need to worry about me. At least in that aspect. I do still hide books, but it's only because I buy too many and Mona yells at me. I can't go into a store without buying at least one. One time Mona saw one of my credit card bills and it a whole page with just Barnes and Noble purchases.  

Award Winning Blog!

I have been nominated for a Liebster Award!

As an upstanding rule follower (but only when I like the rules) Here is a list of the Liebster Rules that I will follow: 

In order to participate, Liebster nominees must:

1.  Thank the person who nominated you. 

2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.

3. Nominate at least 5 blogs with less than 200 followers (approximately).

4.  Post 11 questions for your nominees to answer.

5.  Post a comment on your nominees' blogs to let them know that they've been nominated.

My Thanks:

To +Tim Clark @ Life, Explained, thank you. Your kind words for me and my blog mean more than you could know. 

If you have not read Tim's blog I highly recommend it. He would have been one of my nominees if tag-backs were allowed. He's a self proclaimed writer of the absurd, I find it ridiculously entertaining. He's able to keep up with my witty humor, which not a lot of people can do. :) 


My eleven questions are:

1. What was your main impetus to begin blogging?

I was reading another blog and thought to myself, "I could do this!" So I started my blog. The rest is history. 

2. What was your favorite book?

Was? As in past tense? Well if we are speaking past tense it would be the Christy Miller Series. It was a teenage romance series that I wasn't allowed to read, because Mom didn't want me to read them. I somehow still managed to read them all, including the scadulus Collage Years, behind Mom's back (sorry Mom). The really funny thing is that a few years later Mona, my sister, who isn't a reader at all, was ENCOURAGED by Mom to read the Christy Miller Series. Mom even bought the stupid books for her! Life as an older sibling can be cruel. I don't so much care for the series now, it leaves a slightly bitter taste in my mouth from the overall experience. Well, that and the fact that it was a teenage romance series. \

If we are talking my favorite book now it is To Kill A Mockingbird. I love it. Way better than Christy Miller. 

3. If you had a time machine where would you go first?

The beginning. To really know...you know?

4. When you look at life what thing puzzles you most?

People. They are confusing as heck. I just watched a documentary on Jeffrey Dahmer  ...and he ate people. How is that not puzzling? (Fun Fact: I lived about 15 minutes away from Dahmer before he was arrested)

5. Have you ever posted a Facebook update just to make someone jealous, or angry? 

Do pictures of vacations count? Then yes.  

6. Would you explain?

I like to post pictures of vacation to make everyone at work jealous of me on vacation while they sit at work. 

7. What is your favorite vacation spot, someplace you have been and intend to return?

Umm...let's see. I really loved Portland, Maine. Mona and I planned it at as a last minute 24th birthday trip for me. It's been one of my favorite places so far...I would definitely go back. 

8. How many play lists are on your mp3 player?

None. At least not of my own. I sometimes use Spotify and follow Mona's play lists. I'm a weird person who likes to sit in silence. I love music, but I have to be in the mood to listen to it. I probably listen to Audible (audiobooks) more than music. 

9. Looking at your life now, and thinking about your school years, in what subject do you wish you would have payed more attention?
Math.

10. Why? 

Because math. I'm still doing it. It doesn't magically disappear in collage. 

11. Do you believe there is life on other planets?

Yes. Anything is possible. Do you know how big the universe is?!? We haven't even explored all of the oceans! Do I think WE will  find life on other planets? We might not find human like or even animal like lifeforms. I will fall more along the lines of microbiotic extremophile organisms more so than a civilization. But who really knows? We could have already come in contact with alien lifeforms and then had our memories wiped, either by them or the government (Men in Black style). Like I said. Anything is possible. 

My Nomonies are as follows:

1. Brittany @lifechangesii. Who often reminds me of myself. 

2. Caroline Lloyd @ House at Roo Corner. She can crack me up like no other. 

3. Lexy Gray @ Love Ain't Fun When It's Gone. I'd say she's pretty cool. 

4. T.L. Searle @ T.L. Searle Author. Because I can't wait for her next book...she left the first one on such a cliffhanger!!! :) 

5. Jessica Nicole @ Ramblings on Readings. She does book and movie reviews. I always like what she recommends :) 


Now for my question for you:

1. How tall are you?

2. When was the last time you cried and why?

3. What do you think of people?

4. What is your happiest memory?

5. What is your favorite television show?

6. What is your favorite meme? (example please)

7. Who do you wish was your celebrity BFF?

8. What is the worst illness or injury you have ever experienced? 

9. How has it changed you?

10. What is the weirdest quirk you think you have? 

11. What or who inspires you? 

I Don't Need to Shower

I'm pretty sure I smell today.

I worked out last night and went to bed without showering because in summer it's pointless to shower before bed because I sweat all night anyways (because it's hot, not because I'm an unusually sweaty person. I just want to clarify that point).

Well, I wake up this morning and go to start my normal routine, only to find my Roommate, Kat, in the shower. Wait...that came out wrong. I didn't walk in on her in the shower, the door was just shut and I heard the shower running...I made assumptions. Gosh, that would have made for a real embarrassing story if I had actually walked in on her. (picturing that scenario in my head...)

Anyways, I thought "Oh okay, I guess I'll just wait."

I waited and waited. I GET READY AT THIS TIME EVERYDAY!

I was really starting to get nervous because I needed a shower and even if I didn't shower all of my stuff to get ready was in there.

So, I waited some more. Constantly watching the clock tick down the minutes slowly inching it's way closer and closer to seven o'clock.

I waited until 10 minutes before I had to leave for work and she was still in the shower.

Finally, I grabbed my clothes and went downstairs to the small bathroom. I tried to wash up in the sink with the hand soap, I threw my hair up in a ponytail, and I used Mona's deodorant that was sitting out on the counter. I had some body spray in my room that I coated myself in and prayed my hair didn't look too greasy as I ran out the door.

I still feel gross.

Five Reason I Miss Having A Phone

I'm having a hard time getting into the swing of things after vacation. I mean look at how long it took me to post vacation photos!

There are lots of stories and lots of things I could be writing about about. I have half a dozen of them started, but I can seem to finish them. I get distracted or bored and I hate editing, {note to self: get a blog editor. I wonder how much that would cost}, so I put it off until it's too late and then you get a post like this instead.

I think I'm still in anti-work mode. The nice weather doesn't help either.

Another reason might be that my phone has stopped taking a charge and I have to do all of my pointless internet browsing during my writing time. Priorities people, priorities. Anyways, with my phone, I thought it was the battery, the lady at the phone store confirmed this, so I bought a new one. Now it's not taking a charge at all. It was the holiday weekend, so I haven't taken it in yet. Taking it in might be my after work project if Netflix doesn't interrupt.

I haven't really missed my phone that much. I don't like answering phone calls or listening to voice-mails, so it's a good excuse. "Oh you left a message? Sorry my phone's not working!"

There are a few reasons I miss having a phone though...

1. I don't know what time it is...ever. We don't have a clock in our living room, because if it's plugged in by the TV and we vacuum we blow a fuse and we never reset it and if we have it in any of the other plugs it always gets unplugged when we have friends over so phones can be charged.

I also walk on my lunch and I never know what time I need to turn around so I make it back on time. Out shopping and have plans after I either have to guess or ask someone (okay, so maybe I always guess)

2. I never know where I know that girl/guy from. IMDB is my favorite app. Every time I'm watching a movie people look familiar and I have no idea where they are from, I'm terrible at that, but I want to know what else they've been in...where I've seen their face before...so I pull out my phone and check IMDB (I should be getting paid for this advertising). I love it.

3. I could be murdered and no one would know. This one is mostly from my mother. She hates me being phone-less. The other night when I was home alone she made me sleep with my computer on and Facebook up, so I would be able to message for help if needed.

4. Nothing to look like I'm busy doing something else besides talking. Come all we all do it. When we are bored or don't feel like talking you take out your phone and mindlessly scroll through Facebook.

5. When I have a burning question I need answered RIGHT now, like what kind of poisonous worm makes a noise like a milk frother, I can't find out RIGHT now! I could run and find a computer, but I'm too lazy. I could ask Mona, but she can't Google to save her life! I try to tell myself I'll remember to look it up later, but then I forget. I always feel like I'm forgetting something. I think my phone is like my brain.

(P.S. I did not edit this, so if you wish to correct it please apply to be my editor at lunalablue@gmail.com)

Back From Vacation: Part 2

 Okay, now for the rest of my pictures! I know it's later than I said, but it took longer than I thought, mostly because of procrastination.

This first one is of Mona and Dad filling up the boat with gas. I'm holding the boat steady and taking pictures...it's a very important job.

Dad and Mona

The good old bait shop. Mona hates the little fish. She has an extreme fear of fish...which is weird because she likes fishing! That is all except taking the fish off the hook. She always has to have someone with her to "help" her take the fish off. Although, before we left she did buy this weird contraption that is suppose to help you get a stuck hook out of a fish and in the picture on the box it shows you don't actually have to touch the fish, so she thinks it will work for her. Unfortunately we didn't catch any fish for her to test it out.

The bait shop

 Since our cottage is near to Green Bay...one day Mona and I decided to hit the big town and do a couple of touristy things. First stop was Lambeau Field! Even though I'm not a big Packer/Football fan...I am a tour fan and I thought this was a great tour! I especially loved our two old men tour guides. They were speed walkers who loved cracking jokes...plus they were there for most of the history stuff, so you knew they knew what they were talking about.

Lambeau Field Tour Ticket

This is our group walking through the Packer's entrance tunnel onto the field. I found out that  the Packers have this nice big ramp tunnel, but the away team they has this tiny entrance that takes a couple of flights of stairs to get to the field. Our tour guide said that's what home field advantage means. I found this very informational and funny.

This is Mona doing the Lambeau Leap. Well, she couldn't actually do the Lambeau Leap...for one  it was against the tour rules and for two she is physically incapable of doing it. Do you know how high that wall is?

Mona's Lambeau Leap 

We also were not aloud to touch the grass. It's special grass apparently...part real and part synthetic. The grass is a BIG deal. Over all it was a wonderful tour! My favorite part was when we stood at the top, just under the score board, and the tour guide made us shout "GO PACK GO" in the empty stadium and you could hear our voices echo back at us. Our tour guide told us that, as part of the tour, we had to shout "GO PACK GO", even if we were not Packer fans, but we could say the phrase backwards in protest.

Lambeau Field

After Lambeau we toured the National Train Museum in Green Bay. The most interesting thing I learned is that I have been pronouncing Reading Railroad from Monopoly wrong my entire life! It's not reading like I'm reading a book, but reading like Red-ing  like the color red with an ing at the end. Reading Rainbow...mind blown!

Mona Catching the Train

Mona wanted me to take a picture of her kissing her lover goodbye as she leaves on the train. It's really just her kissing the air, but it looks cool.

Mona Blowing a Goodbye Kiss

 We play lots and lots of cards. All the same game. Nertz. I think we played over a thousand games. We played so hard we had battle wounds. There were slammed knuckles, nail scratches, bent cards, and paper cuts under nails. It was intense. It takes speed and brain power and bettering better than your opponents.  And guess what...I won all but three or four of the thousands of games. Everyone hated me a little bit...actually strike that...not a little, they hated me a lot! There was a lot of name calling going on as well...Mona and Becky cursed me several times to no avail. They just become bullies because they are poor losers.

Cards for Playing Nertz

We also drank lots and lots of coffee. We got our new machine just in time to bring it with us and practice lots and lots.

Coffee

More Coffee

Mona, Becky, & I went to the local dirt track races. It's a huge thing in the area. Afterwards Mona told me that she wanted to become a professional dirt track racer and asked if I would support her. I, of course, told her I would. I will be her Pit Crew Chief. Now all we need is to know how to start...

The Races

So, for a start we hit the tracks...Go-Kart style! Mona, Becky, & I, after the dirt track races, had to do a little racing of our own!

Jeff Gordon Go-Kart

After our Go-Kart races the park we were at also had batting cages and Mona and Becky had to give it a try.

Mona & Becky Warming up for the Batting Cages

Every Sunday in the summer they have a big flee market at the fair grounds (same place as the race track as well). We made it out there on the last Sunday before we left. We found lots of good things, but I'm still kicking myself for not having enough cash for this...I bought too many books. I should have found a way. I mean who wouldn't wait a pair of taxidermied deer ears? 

Deer Ears Taxidermy

And one last lake picture just because I like it.

Mona's Shoes by the Lake

I'll miss the lake and the not having to work.

 Hope you guys have some good vacations planned for this summer!

Back From Vacation: Part 1

Vacation is over.

I didn't really want to come back, it isn't as hard as I thought it would be. You know when you've reached that point were everyday life just irritates you? Not just one or two little things, but everything! You think if you go on one more day you might go insane and everyone would know it. You might contemplate running away and never looking back and everyone would think you've been locked up in the loony bin. You know one of those kinda feelings? Well I was at that point with my life. I NEEDED a vacation. And it's a good thing I got one. For sanity's sake. 

Now that I'm back everything looks a little greener and that's not just because the grass is actually greener here. I've had a break and I've miss my little old life. I even kinda missed work, not the actual work work, but the people. My coworkers and the patients...even the crazy ones. It's nice to be back. It also help that I had this one little old lady compliment me to no end. "Oh, would you look at her name! I love that name. It's so pretty. Did you have a nickname? No? Oh good, because it's such a pretty name! Will you look at her smile! Oh I love her laugh..." and so on and so forth. Who wouldn't like coming back to that?

Now for pictures!

First sight of the Lake! I love this view.

The Lake View

Here's the inside of the cottage. This is the living room with four bedrooms off though the doors. It's got a teeny tiny bathroom and kitchen. My favorite part is the  huge wraparound porch along the front and side. It's all windows so we can see the lake and be nosy neighbors. The house on the right always has new people and weird stuff going on. One time we watched as a swat team surrounded and went in guns blazing. And the woman who's living there now's husband had been missing for an entire year and they just found his body in a pond. Plus, looking out the widows this weekend we almost had to save a girl from being kidnapped!! She was walking down the street with a book and she kept looking over her shoulder. Then this big back truck comes crashing around the corner and then the girl starts to panic and starts running down the road. As the truck draws closer he doesn't slow down and then the truck...drives past her. Gosh the girl was  real jumpy for not being chased. A little while later we see her walking back the way she came. As you can see it's lots of fun neighbor watching...even if no one gets kidnapped. Wait...that came out wrong. You know what I mean.

The Cottage

One day Mona, Becky, Dad, and I went out fishing and Mom went out grocery shopping. It was a great plan because Mom hates fishing and I hate grocery shopping. The only downfall to this plan was that Mom locked the door when she left and we got back before her...without a key. Dad was able to pull the glass out of one of the windows and Becky helped Mona get in...after several very awkward attempts. Dad and Mona swear they have gotten in this way before, but from the looks of it they aren't very good at it. At one point a car drove past and I thought for sure they were going to call the cops on us. Except they probably realized it was the middle of the day and we were being loud and not very sneaky or graceful. We did not make for the best looking robbers.

Mona & Becky breaking into the cottage

Like I said we went out fishing, but before we even started I got my lure hooked on my scarf. I was carrying a bunch of other stuff and I was dropping it as I walked down to the pier and my my rod dipped and the lure jumped and the scarf was hungry and I think Mona pushed me...what I'm trying to say is that it was really my fault. After I jerked to a stop at being caught on the fishing line I tried VERY hard to get it off, but the darn hook just kept getting more hooked until it was a complete mess. I had to whine and have mommy and daddy help me. I had it stuck so bad they couldn't even get it out. They had to cut the lure it was stuck so bad. Dad swears it was one of his most valuable antique irreplaceable lures. I called him a liar because they all look the same to me. It was dangerous that's what it was...can you imagine if that got stuck in my face!?!

Lure caught in Scarf

Here are a couple of lake pictures that I liked...I took more, but I didn't wan to bore you. The bottom one is of my two babies Minnow and Dino. Minnow is my princess, she can do no wrong, and Dino is crazy (he's the one with his tongue sticking out). Minnow will run and jump right in the lake while Dino stops at the end of the pier and whines and barks because he wants to jump in, but he's too afraid. 

Dino & Minnow at the Lake

Okay, so this is getting and taking longer than I anticipated...and I still have a lot of photos. I'm going to stop here and let you soak in the vacation spirit of this post and I'll continue more tomorrow! 

I'm still alive guys! Just out fishing! Not a great Internet connection on the lake! I'll be back on Wednesday! 

Vacation Time!!!!

Right now I really should be getting on a plane headed for Italy, but sadly I am not.

Don't be too sad about it Mona and I chose this. We decided to be responsible and not waste money on a trip to Italy when we are trying to open a coffee shop, so instead we bought this for half the price.

I would have told you sooner, that the trip was canceled, but the news was rather anticlimactic. Mona and I were in our room. Mona sat on her bed and I was in the chair across the room. She had just written out the check for our first payment. She held the check in her hands staring down at it. Staring at the sheer amount of it and considering the ramifications of sending it out. "Do we really want to spend this much money on a trip when we are trying to open a coffee shop?" she asked me. I stared at her and the check. I knew she was right. I had been having the same feelings about the trip for the last week, but I had yet to voice it or accept it. "Probably not," I replied to her with a sigh of disappointment.

We talked about all the pros and cons of going to Italy and the cons eventually won out.

Mona dramatically  ripped the check into little pieces and symbolically threw it in the air like confetti. Okay, so maybe the confetti throwing didn't really happen...she might have just set it on the bookshelf next to her, but now that I'm thinking about it she should have thrown it in the air! It would have made for a much better story. This is why it was so anticlimactic and I didn't write about it! She just sent it on the bookshelf and we moved on with our lives. It's all Mona's fault! If she would have just thrown the ripped up check in the air we would have gotten a proper post. Thanks a lot Mona! So, to make this story better, let's just pretend there was a metaphorical confetti throwing. The falling of paper pieces like the falling away of one dream to make way for a better dream. Like the death and rebirth of a Phoenix. Very poetic and beautiful!

So, back to my main point, even though I'm not going to Italy I'm still taking the time off.

We are heading up to Northern Wisconsin, and by Northern Wisconsin I'm talking about the Green Bay area. Any farther North and that's practically Canada. I live about 30 minutes from the Wisconsin/Illinois border, so that far north would surly insure some sort of culture shock.

I've got my bags packed (which that in itself is a major accomplishment seeing as of 11:00 last night I had absolutely no clean laundry or motivation) and I'm ready to hit the road...that is as soon as I'm done with work. The countdown is at 2 hours and 30 minutes. It's nice to know I won't have to be back here for a week and a half!

Since this vacation is to a place void of a wireless or plug in internet connection and Mona is trying to get me to go on a social media fast (I have agreed to no such thing), I'm not sure how much you will be hearing from me in the next week or so...you never know I might be bored out of my mind or have so many hilarious things I want to tell you that I'll write double the posts from normal, but I highly doubt I'll be bored, so it's more likely you won't hear much from me.

So, if you don't hear from me just think of me sipping espresso on a pier by the lake reading a good book and soaking up the sunshine with a content smile on my face.

Living Next To A Murderer

So, this guy, Clayton, lives about four minutes away from my apartment.

News paper picture of Clayton in the hospital after stabbing
with mud all over his face

Clayton was taken to the hospital earlier this week for getting in a knife fight with his roommate. Upon police investigation, it turns out Clayton confessed (in more of a threatening than guilty way) to murdering three people to his roommate before nearly stabbing him to death and also threatening the roommate's girlfriend.

Clayton is in jail now and even though he is not talking to the police they are taking the confession to his roommate very seriously.

A few days ago they found the body of his pregnant girlfriend underneath a bridge.

Yesterday another body washed up from the river.

And there is another woman in town reported missing. 

It's super cool that he lived so close to me when he decided to go on his murdering rampage. Super cool.

And the even cooler part is Karen, my friend, tells me I've talked to the guy before, several times in fact. I have no recollection of his face, but she insists it's true. I've always said if the police asked me to describe someone to a sketch artist I wouldn't even know where to start, now apparently I couldn't even pick someone out of a photo book or probably a line up. Don't every trust me as a witness.

The cops have been scouring my neighborhood like crazy. Knocking on doors and patrolling the streets and searching for bodies near the river.

I'm glad to know he's locked up in jail and that I'm no longer living next to a murderer. 

MY NEW ESPRESSO MACHINE!!!

GUYS, I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!

JUST LOOK AT MY LOVELY...

La Pavoni EPC-8 Europiccola 8-Cup Lever Style Espresso Machine

And this is the grinder we are waiting for...

Mazzer Mini Espresso Grinder

And where would we be without accessories...

Stainless Steel Frothing Pitcher Pitchers Thermometer Set & Tamper

 I'm so excited to use it!!!!!  This work day cannot go fast enough!!

Mona and I spent a pretty penny on this beauty, but it's well worth it! We justify it by calling it an "investment in our future". Which is legit because we plan on opening up a coffee shop in the next couple of years.  

Now we just need  that grinder to come and we will be golden! 

15 Ways to Make Money Disappear

Without Realizing It

1. Drug store shopping. Not only are you paying higher convenience prices, but they also get you with all the new stuff. You never walk out of there without a $7 bottle of nail polish or possibly buying the newest Easy Bake Upside Down Non Stick Cake Pan from the As Seen On TV section.  But the thing is your lazy and going to a big store isn't always appealing. So, you pay the price and drown your sorrows in nail polish and a cake that is lopsided with half of it burnt to the pan and the other half stuck inside your oven.

2. Eating Healthy.  This one may be worth it, but do you know how much it cost to get a stupid salad when you're eating out?!?! At McDonald's I can a burger, fries, and a soda for $3, but you buy a salad and it's 8 bucks! Have you ever tried buying fruit at the grocery store? Well it's ridiculous! I can't afford this! Are Ramen Noodles considered healthy? 

4. "Free" Book 1 E-Books. Don't let the "Free" fool you. There you are trying to save money by buying free books from Barnes and Noble or Amazon and then all of a sudden you reach the end of the book and it leaves you with such a devastating cliffhanger you need to know what happens next. Only once you turn the last page do you realize the fact that this...is...a...SERIES!! At first you're ecstatic, because you love series and then you go to look up the next book at it's $15!!! But you can't live without knowing what happens next, so you buy it anyway. And then also the next three books. It's viscous and cruel. 

5. Coffee. We may balk at the price of fruit, but we never blink an eyelash at spending $5 on a cup of coffee. Coffee is the reason there is no money to buy fruit. The thing is I'm pretty sure we can live without fruit, but coffee on the other hand...I'm sure we would die with out it. Coffee may make your money disappear, but I do not recommend giving it up. It's just not worth it. Choose life. 

Join Here

Update: I got a few complaints comments that there were not enough Ways to make money disappear, so I decided to honor the request and add some more!

(you know who you are miss "just 5 ways??? you disappoint me")

6. Make Dinner for Friends. Cooking for other people gets pricey, especially when you are trying to be impressive. NO Ramon Noodles for them.

7. Get Lost. Driving around in circles wastes more gas then you can imagine. Sometimes when driving it's easy to pretend it doesn't cost any money, but it does and you will pay at the pump. 

8. Buy One Get One Half Off Sales. Sometimes you didn't even want to buy ONE and you end up going home with at least two! And somehow the shoe sales always get you. It's best just to stay away from the shoe stores altogether.

9. Buying Hair-ties and Bobby Pins. For things so small and inexpensive it's easy to spend a few hundred dollars on buying them in your lifetime. It's always when you need them you can never seem to find the thousands you own. You imagine finding Borrowers building small societies out of the lost hair-tires and bobby pins and it makes you feel a little better knowing you are helping in some small way, but the money adds up. 

10. Kids meals. You're paying for that toy, it's not free. 

11. Lottery tickets. Sadly, you spend more that you will ever realistically win. You are just paying to give other people money. 

12. Buying Makeup. That stuff is crazily overpriced. You might not even realize how much women spend on makeup a year. Who the heck ever said we need to wear makeup in the first place?! We need to blame someone for the outrageous amount of money we have to spend on mascara, blush, foundation, eye shadow, eyeliner, powder, primer and who knows what else. 

13. Late fees. Forgetting to return Movies to red box or the library can cost a pretty penny. Save some money and just buy the movie. Honestly it's cheaper. 

14. Uncanceled Two Week Free Trials. Those will get you all the time. You sign up for a free two week trial and forget to opt-out after two weeks and all of a sudden you are getting charged for another month. Then you don't want to waste the money, so you tell yourself you'll cancel just before next month. And then you forget and get another charge. This can go on for awhile. If you just avoided the two week trial in the first place you would have two years worth of payments racked up. 

15. Losing Weight. Sure it's all good and healthy, but every time you drop a dress size you have to buy new clothes! And yes this may be rewarding and fun, but in the long run it does nothing for your wallet! (this could also be said of gaining weight, but that never really happens) 

Sleeping Beauty

Mona came home from a long day of work. She plopped herself down in one of the chairs in our living room. We chit catted and caught up for a little while and then, after sometime, she lay her head back on the recliner, closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Four hours later she comes to sleepily and asks what time it is. 5:20. She has an engagement at 6 and still needs to get ready. 

Mona: Why did you make me fall asleep? 

Me: Because I'm evil. 

Mona: Humph...

Me: Like Maleficent 

Mona: WHAT? (Looking around confused and horrified)

Me: Maleficent?

Mona: What? (still looking around confused and horrified, I am beginning to think she might still be asleep) 

Me: You know, from Sleeping Beauty? 

Mona: STOP it! 

She yells and then, with a pout on her lips, closes her eyes and falls back asleep. 

I look at her in confusion. I'm not sure if she was yelling at me to stop being a weirdo or to stop putting her under a sleeping spell? I guess I'll never know because when she finally woke up, she didn't remember the conversation. 


{Update: Mona just called me and said "I didn't get to read it, but I saw a glimpse of your blog post and since It's called 'Sleeping Beauty' I can only assume it's about me." I quickly replied "If it was about you it'd be called 'Sleeping Ugly'." So if Mona asks this post is not about her.}

What Breed of Children Do You Want?

Girl on TV: I haven't really thought about kids before, but if I did have kids I would want two girls. They will be a pain in junior high, but I grew up with sisters, so it will be okay.

Me: She's never thought about kids before, but she knows exactly how many she wants and what kind of bre..umm.

Mona: Were you going to say breed?

Me: Maybe.

Mona: Because that's what I was thinking.

Me: It seemed fitting. Plus I couldn't think of the word gender.

If I Were A Vampire

Me: Mona. If I were a vampire stuck in an underwater casket drowning in a continuous cycle I would imagine you and I having conversations to keep my sanity.

Mona looked at me like I was a crazy person who had finally lost my mind.

Me: Gosh it was supposed to be a sweet sentiment! Take it as a compliment!

Maybe I've been watching too much Vampire Diaries...

Famdamly Convo

After reading my post from yesterday, Mom was a little concerned for my emotional well being. This conversation took place in our “Famdamly” ongoing convo on Facebook.

(Please note that this conversation has been edited for ease of reading. We go off topic and respond late and back track and misuse words and spellings constantly. Plus nobody understands what Mom’s saying half the time, so I cut out all the really confusing parts.)

FAMDAMLY:

Mom: Luna is an emotional mess..she needs her hormones checked PLEASE...I am worried about your females… (she is referring to the fact that I haven’t had my period in a few months and there is no way whatsoever I am pregnant. I have a really have a hard time wanting to go to the doctor for NOT bleeding for days. It’s just not at the top of my priorities list.) Luna is a mess!

Me: I'm fine now that I cried

Mom: No you ain't...must go to doctor....otherwise you are like Nancy thinking you don't need doctors (Nancy, our friend, drank raw milk and didn't go to the doctor for years so she basically had to get ALL of her woman parts removed)
Me: It's just PMS I'll probably be getting it this weekend. I'm fine…

Mom: It isn't normal not to have for that long....I could see if you were training for the Olympics....just saying! lolol I don't want these emotions up north (we are going on vacation to our family’s cottage in two weeks). Gma and I have both had problems.....

Mona: Many {referring to Mom’s many problems}

Me: But I am training for the Olympics! That is why!

Mom: Excuse me, Mona, my problems!?! Doris (Code for Mona's uterus) is the worst with all those dirty looks and snarls!

Mona: She hasn't been bad!

Becky: Wait! Mona am I uninvited because I have Doris?? {yes, Becky’s coming with us on vacation} I will keep Doris in check!

Mona: Becky. If you promise to keep her in line you can come lolol.

Mom: Mona, you don't see her in a real light like the rest of us! She is nasty! {referring to Mona’s Doris}

Becky: Are we talking about Luna? lololol (If I wasn't away from my computer stopping a flood at this moment I would have responded to this with a “How dare you say this about me Becky! You better sleep with one eye open this vacation!” But like I said, I was stopping a flood and this comment went refuted. Thanks for standing up for me mom.)

Becky: It's probably because you don't have a liver. {referring to my gallbladder and liver problems from a few weeks ago}
Mom: Her liver is still functioning.....

Becky: No, they had to remove it surgically and they replaced it with another uterus which explains everything

Mona: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh double Doris! Ooo double Doris....I don't want that.


Mom: Becky...please don't give medical advice to patients {Becky is a receptionist at the same hospital I work for}

Mona: That is her job. She is a doctor.

Mom: Dr. Dread

Mona: Becky is a Doctor and Luna is training for the Olympics?! Wow we have some classy folk. I feel like a bit of a loser (Again, if I wasn't dealing with a flood, I would have said some hilarious snarky comment about her actually being a loser)

Mom: See that's why I don’t want to go up north......her training for the Olympics could be rough.......she may want us doing it with her

Dad: I think I'll just go myself

Mona: Every time Luna has Doris we say "Luna is training for the Olympics" Change approved?

Becky: I like it. Change approved!

Mona: Hahaha

Luna: I step away to get coffee and deal with a flood and this is what happens! (okay, so I might have really been getting coffee and chitchatting while watching them clean up an overflowing sink). What happened to my body? I didn't get where you were going with that bit.

Mona: Yeah you had to remove it surgically and they replaced it with another uterus which explains everything

Me: Oh okay. So, you are saying they took out my well working uterus and surgically replaced it with a defective one?

Becky: No they took out your liver and you now have two uterus'

Me: Wait. Why did they replace my liver with a uterus?

Becky: I don't have time to explain science to you Luna.

Mona: Dumb jocks…

Me: I think I take offence to the dumb jocks comment.

Becky: Dumb Olympians

Me: Much better. Thank you.

I Want to Cry For No Reason

Have you ever gotten that funny feeling? It lives deep down in your gut and it won’t go away no matter how much you protest. It’s the feeling of wanting to burst into tears for no good reason whatsoever.

Yes? No? Well that’s how I’ve been feeling for the last week and a half. It’s really hard seeing a picture of a cute little kitty cat and wanted to sob hysterically because it’s too darn adorable for it’s own good!

Sometimes it sucks being a hormonal woman (side note: I am 25 years old and still find it weird to call myself a woman instead of a girl).

Well, anyways, I've been in this near tear state for quite awhile, but I've held out and not embarrassed myself by bursting into tears in the middle of work or the grocery store. Although it was a close one at the grocery store. Mona sent me to find a weird cheese at a giant store and after thirty or forty minutes of trying to look for this stinking cheese (there was literally that many different kinds of cheese that it took forty minutes to go over them all twice) I called Mona yelling. “WHERE IS THIS STINKING CHEESE!! I CAN’T FIND IT ANYWHERE!!!”

I don’t think she appreciated my tone of voice and/or she might have know I was ready to really lose it at any moment because she answered in her sweetest you're crazy, so I’m going to be super nice to you because I don’t want to face your ultimate and terrifying wrath high pitched voice (she might disagree with the tone of voice she used, she would have stopped at your're crazy, but I like to think she's afraid of my wrath) “Well, I might not have spelled the name of the cheese right”.

With a heavy, frustrated, keep it together kinda sigh, I made one more loop around with more critical eyes and I found the "GEER" cheese alright...and it was gone. 

But it was not the grocery store that got me, the thing that really got to me is stupid Glee. Yes, I'm talking about the show with a bunch of singing high schoolers. I’m a sucker for any Musical. There’s just something about people randomly bursting out into song and dance to describe their life that gets me. So this naturally means I've been watching it since the beginning. 

My Netflix mentality has made it hard for me to watch any show week to week without getting bored, so I'm about 10 episodes behind. Mona's working tonight and I didn't have anything to do, so I decided I would get my Glee on. Except it was anything but gleeful! I HAVE BEEN CRYING FOR THE LAST THREE HOURS STRAIGHT!!! Stupid, stupid Glee! Talking about Finn and Seniors and losing Glee Club and they bring back ALL of the people I've missed. I'm an emotional wreck right now! 

Thanks a lot Glee. Don't you know I've been trying to keep it together! Somebody grab me a Kleenex box before auto-play starts the next episode!