The Sweat Suit

When Mona got home yesterday she had an armful of goodies with her. She had gone to our local Sporting Goods Store and went on a little shopping spree. She bought a jump rope and ten pound exercise balls. She proudly showed off her new toys.

I thought she had showed me everything. 

A few hours later we are sitting around with our future new roomie, Candy, and she was showing off her new stuff.

Mona: Do you want to see what else I bought.

Candy: Yes.

Me: There's more...that you've been hiding? This has got to be bad. 

Mona: Let me go try it on for you.

Me: Try it on? Oh no. This is definitely not going to be good. Tell me you didn't get the garbage bag. 

Mona: Shush. 

For the past few years, Mona has been trying to buy a plastic sweat suit, but on the sheer ridiculousness of it and the outrageous cost, for basically a garbage bag, I have talked her out of it. 

She hides her bag and dashes quickly off to the bathroom and loudly slams the bathroom door. Candy and I sit in anticipation. We hear the sound of plastic being whipped out of it's packaging. I really think she bought that stupid sweat suit.

Mona With Her Exercise Ball in The Sweat Suit

Out comes Mona. 

No only did she by a sweat suit, she went and bought the upgraded sweat suit with a hood. Candy and I burst out in laughter at the sight. 

Me: How much did you spend on this thing.

Mona: It doesn't matter.

Me: I'm going to Google it. 

Mona: DON'T! Just let it be.

Me: Obviously too much. I don't even want to know anymore. 

As she was sitting and sweating on our living room chairs, she stated to read the information inside the box. She caught up on the different types of exercises she could do in the suit and was impressed to find out all the heat locking features the it was had. 

While finding out all this fascinating stuff a small piece of paper quickly slipped out from Mona's hands and floated gently onto the living room floor in front of us.

CALIFORNIA PROPOSITION 65 WARNING: This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and/or other reproductive harm.

Mona: That's only if you eat it...right?

Me: You're a goner, you've already had it on too long.

Mona: Or if you wear it without underwear. Don't worry guys, I'm wearing underwear.

Me: Ewe.

Mona: It's probably just because you look so ugly in it that no one want to have babies with you.

It's so ugly even Mona can't deny it.