Hardcore Miss America

Miss America 2014 (USA Today, 2013)

The Miss America Pageant.

Most people have heard of it. It has been going on for the last 88 years, so if you haven't heard of it you should pay better attention to the important things in this world. Come on!

Some people may call my family crazy, but we take the Miss America Pageant very seriously.

My aunt makes booklets for us each year with all the contestants pictures, states, talents, and causes listed. It comes with brackets for the top 15, 7 and final 5 with runner up and winner slots. We even have special Miss America pens (they are red, white, and blue).   

There is space to write down our comments as we earnestly judge each contestant. We, of course, prejudge based on how photogenic they are in their pamphlet pictures, but once the program starts the real judging begins. 

We judge them on their walk, speech, how awesome their talents are (roller dance, ventriloquism, and yodeling are shoe ins-one year there was even a yodeling ventriloquist!). We closely examine their looks, multiple wardrobe changes, swimsuits, the sound of their voice, how they smile, and how they answer questions. We even judge to see if they suck in their stomachs during the swimsuit competition! One year, during the evening gown, they walked with their fathers and brothers and we had to judge the men as well. 

No aspect of them goes unjudged. It's a very harsh environment. We yell and scream at the TV in protest when our favorites get cut and the ugly untalented ones stay in (this sounds very terrible on our parts and I am very much against calling people ugly and untalented, but this is a harsh contest! There is a lot at stake!! Don't you judge me!).

When it comes down to judging the finial 5, things really get cutthroat. We go over all of our notes, reevaluate every aspect of the contestants, try to convince others to vote wrong, call each other names, and keep our ballets secret as we carefully rank the top five contestants in order and decide who the winner should be...it's really nerve-wracking!

Whoever gets closest to picking the correct final 5, in order, wins the whole deal! We get crowned with a tiara and sash, receive a glowing plastic rose, a $10 gift card, and the ultimate title of MISS AMERICA WINNER! 

My sister, Mona, posted this on Facebook this morning: 

Miss America is our families March Madness! It certainly has it's upsets, and we definitely yell at the tv, we have brackets, and we critique every move. And if you pick the winner there is always a prize! Good stuff!

Good stuff indeed! 

I can't wait until next year!